Crystal Clear
by weareallgeniouses
Summary: AU: Quinn is a student, just trying to survive college. Rachel is the lead singer of a local band in the NYC scene. They meet one night and their lives change for good. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Crystal Clear**

**AU: Quinn is a college student, working towards becoming a famous journalist. Rachel is the lead singer of a local band in the NYC scene. They meet one night and that is enough to ignite something either of them was expecting or even wanting to happen.**

**AN: This is my third story, took me long enough to start writing FF again, but here I am. Some days I think I'm too old to be doing this, but hey, there was something telling me to just get over it and do it. I am not quite sure just yet on how this will play out. But should be fun, and good, and angsty, and sappy and then fun again. And there's love, yes.**

**Please read and review!**

It's the first snow of the year. I'm slowly walking back to my dorm, a quick late night dinner with Mike, some coffee and back to the books. I love snow. I sit down for a second on one of the benches in the park, just looking at the falling snow. Washington Square looks so different now, during the summer is warm (almost too hot some days) and you get to see people skating or playing guitar. Now that it's cold, and though it may be a bit late, I feel safe. There are not a lot of people around. I'm not worried, my dorm is on the next block and Mike will be catching up with me any second now. If this were to be a TV show or a movie, and I think I've seen this episode before, the guy (or girl, preferably), would be showing up just about now. Making small talk and offering me a cup of coffee or tea.

- Hey – a mysterious voice says coming from behind me.

- Hi, I reply not turning around.

- I got you some coffee.

- You didn't have to.

- I know, I kinda wanted to surprise you, finishes Mike sitting next to me. Oh, well, one can only dream, I think. After a few minutes in silence, he stands up, reaches for my hand and asks:

- Are you ready to go? – I am about to join him, when some kid comes up to us, almost yelling:

- Hey! There's a show tonight, go to Shade, my friend's band is playing – He's handing us some flyers and Mike takes one.

- What kinda music? And please don't say gangsta rap, 'cos that's not music.

- Funny guy, no, he plays the bass, they're actually just backing up a singer. She's enrolled in the music program at you school…assuming you go to NYU (and we nod). Anyway, they're good – I barely make sense out of what he's saying, he speaks too fast, he looks too excited. May be I looked like that when I was 18, I wonder – You should stop by if you appreciate Broadway tunes, good music and a great new voice. Trust me.

- Oh, yeah?, asks Mike defiantly.

- Yes, I recognize that my friend might not be the next Flea, but the girl will be big… someday.

- Flea? - I laugh. At least he knows who that dude is. Actually, I'm not sure I really know what he's talking about. Flea? I need to get out more. But Mike actually seems impressed.

- Alright kid, you got me. How much are the tickets?

- For you and your lady? – Now that he has out attention he's speaking slower, I am worried though; don't we have a test tomorrow? And wait, did he just say "your lady". I am about to protest when Mike carries on with the conversation.

- Correct, I want two tickets for these two slackers.

- Mmm, how about 10 bucks each?

- Sounds good, let's see the tickets - He pays for the tickets and the kid runs to some other people that are strolling in the park.

- Mike, I know you're dying to go back to the real world, connect with music and meet cool people… but we have a study group that's been waiting for us at least half an hour… not to mention we have a test tomorrow.

- Q, we're ready as we'll ever be. You have great notes, and I am doing OK, this is just a regular quiz and the fact that we have a study group for a weekly quiz is worrying me.

- I know, I've thought about it, however…

- Look, let's have some fun tonight. Like we once had, back in the day.

- You mean when we were freshmen.

- Yes, when we were wild and free.

- We were never wild and free.

- I know, but at least we used to go out and meet people. Now all we do is hang out with the same dorks from our classes.

- I love those dorks.

- So do I, don't get me wrong. But Q, we're juniors, busy all the time, internships, grades, essays. We need to go out more, enjoy the city. We're far from Ohio and we have to live a little.

- True.

- We have the rest of our lives to be perfect, the amazing journalist you'll be and then I'll have time to write sappy novels about two best friends that fall in love, or at least they think they are, until when one of them turns out to be gay… but don't worry, I won't tell you who so I don't spoil the end.

I punch him in the arm. Stupid boy. But I do love him and I did love him.

- Alright, Chang. Let's go to your stupid concert. What time does it start?

- In like an hour. We can have a few drinks.

- Let's do that, let it never be said that Quinn Fabray does not know how to have fun.

- That's the spirit.

We walk into the bar. Typical New York scene, I can even breathe the coolness in the air and know that I don't belong here. I am a wannabe reporter, writer, may be documentalist or artist. But here we are, so let's have fun.

- First things, first, says Mike while walking towards the bar and I just stand near by the entrance. He motions me to approach to the bar. There are some people around him and he's buying a tequila shot for everyone.

- Yo', dude, this guy is what we needed! – some guy is yelling. There are other two guys and Mike's handing them shots. Last one is for me.

- Ready Q? Ready everyone?, my friend asks to our new acquaintances. They yell. Everyone drinks, including me. First shot.

- Guys, what's your name? - The same "yo', dude" is asking – My name is Taylor, I play drums and whatever percussions are required during the show, this is John, guitar expert and Leo, bass badass.

- Very cool introduction – replies Mike – we're here because of a friend of yours – he explains pointing at Leo.

- That'd be Mark, he's trying to be a musician.

- But the guy has no chance – John cuts.

- Give the boy a chance, we're just newcomers, just like … - And then we lose them for a few minutes, they're discussing Marks musical abilities and how the band is relatively new and Mike has gone to the bar to get us a couple of beers. The guys are actually nice, despite of their vocabulary. Taylor is the shortest, curly and semi long hair, brown and has a very intense stare, he dresses like a rock star; ripped jeans, Rolling Stones t-shirt. John's more like the artsy guy, shoeless and baggy jeans while Leo looks like a cool dude from SoHo. Very nice combination.

- Who's the voice? Mike asks giving me a beer.

- The voice – John repeats – a girl I met a few summers ago during freshman year. She was singing in class and blew everyone's minds away. I never really had the courage to talk to her… but then I met these guys, we started playing, but we realized we needed a voice…something. We're decent, so she said yes.

- And Broadway tunes?, I ask. I am curious now.

- Her choice mostly, and then Leo here also wants to break into the musical Broadway scene, I play jazz mostly, so it's a good fit, and Tay just wants an excuse to play - John explains – See, it's not just Broadway, we make our own arrangements and… you have to listen to us.

- Yeah, I play some hard rock on my spare time, but I barely have anytime for that. Rachel's very demanding and…

- That is only because she wants everyone to live up to their potential – A tiny voice emerges from behind the guys. John laughs and turns around.

- You just missed the tequila shots, John says.

- That's alright; you'll get me one after we play.

- Yes, ma'am. Let me introduce to some newcomers… well, I don't think we've actually let you guys talk.

- That's cool – Mike takes over. Rachel is actually extremely attractive, I usually don't go for shorter girls, but there's something about the way she carries herself. She has beautiful eyes and perfect hair… and her smile. Oh, no, I think they are staring at me. I snap out of my fantasy. Mike is talking to me.

- Q?

- Yes, what were you saying?

- We're juniors at NYU, wannabe writers and journalists and artists and I told Rachel you sing and she's asking about it.

- I wasn't listening, sorry – And for the first time I really make eye contact with her. She looks interested in what I am saying – I like singing, however I am sure you're a much better singer.

- Hey, Quinn… that is your name, right? Look, music is music, and I'd love to hear you sing someday – She smiles. Again.

- Guys, they need us on stage, Leo announces.

- We have to go, John continues, but hey, Rach, maybe we could tell them about… - She's already walking away but manages to yell something that sounds like a "yes, please do".

- Right, so just hang out here after we're done. We have this cool birthday party and you guys should come. We don't usually invite people along, but you're cool and hey, we all go to the same school…

- Yeah, we're in – Mike replies. I give him a "what the hell stare" and he just shrugs.

- The music starts. We get a second beer. Yes, they are cool. Yes, she is pretty…beautiful and amazing and … Oh, she's singing. God. Is this a human voice?

- She is – Mike is about to say something but I put my hand in his mouth.

- I get it – he says anyway – I think you have the hots for her. I turn around to look him in the eye.

- And tell me you don't – he doesn't reply – Chang, this is amazing.

- And it's about to get better, Q.

**Please Read and Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you everyone that took some time to check out the story. Please let me know what you all think! I apologize for all the mistakes; I'm trying to improve :) **

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The concert's almost over. They are actually really good; they have this San Francisco vibe… I spent a few summers there when I was younger and, wow, I mean, I can't find the appropriate words to describe what they sound like, what she sounds like. Mike is equally excited and by the time the set's over, I noticed we've drank about four beers each. Talk about measure.

"Mike, Quinn, what did you guys think?", John's asking while getting off the stage. The other guys are packing their gear and Rachel's getting some water.

"You guys are amazing", I start, "I feel the sound is kinda old, but in a good way. It's a great mix between old, folk music and its vibe and a modern approach".

"Exactly what we're going for", Rachel says, joining our little group, "we've been together for only a few months, but I love working with these geniuses. Did John tell you he did the arrangements for 'This is your song'? Quite a challenge"

"Rach… you're making me blush, so I'm gonna go pack before I get all weird", he laughs and walks away. It is so obvious they all get along really well. Mike and I look at each other.

"I know what you're thinking ", he says.

"What is she thinking?" Rachel asks.

"She is thinking about high school, when we used to sing and dance and steal things"

"Dork", I tell him, "but yes, that's exactly what I was thinking"

"So why don't you?", Rachel asks looking at me

"What? Music? I suppose it's more of a hobby than a career. Granted, I should do it more often, but just as a way of relief more than a way of living"

"Good enough. Let me know if you're ever in the mood for a duet"

"Will do"

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go help this guys pack , or we'll never be ready. You guys are coming to the party, right?"

"Sure we are", Mike replies. I stare at him and next thing, Rachel's on stage helping Taylor with his drum set.

"What?", Mike asks shrugging

"Pff, sure we are", I reply mocking him. He never sounds so… sweet?

"I am sorry. I have a fan crush; it'll fade away in about 2 or 3 days"

"Whatever Chang" I tell him. Then I walk back to the bar to get some water. I need to clear my head and get ready for the rest of the night. Mike is catching up.

"Don't whatever me, Q. You also told me you think she's hot. Are you gonna try something on her?"

"Just because she's a girl and she's hot? Who do you think I am? "

"Hey, I think you should go for it"

"No, look, this is not how things work. A) She's straight, b) I don't go after every pretty girl I meet and c) I am good on my own. I don't need the drama"

"Just because you had some drama some time ago, doesn't mean every relationship you're in will be like that"

"Doubtful", I reply sipping my water. I hand him the bottle and check my cell: 1 am on a Thursday night. We're usually falling sleep at this time. We don't mean to, I guess we just make a good team at being boring. My best friend from back home, Santana, always makes fun of me for that, "Come on, Q, you are finally free to live, please meet hot girls". And that's the nicest she is, I don't even want to start thinking about what she usually says. San Diego is lucky o have her, though. And I miss her.

Once they're done packing, we all head to the party. It's only a few blocks away and there's a light snow so we all take our time. This night is pure magic. We arrive to the apartment and everyone there is a bit drunk and loud, I see some familiar faces that look very surprised to see us there. Rachel is standing next to me, while the band is propping their instruments on a side of the apartment, which doesn't have that much room to begin with.

"Quinn and Mike out on a school night?", Rob, the guy from one of our classes Mike starts asking.

"Yes, yes, here we are", Mike replies. They are busy discussing how boring we usually are. The little brunette listens amused.

"We are not that dorky", I explain to her, "just because we've been secluded for a long time, doesn't mean that we _never_ go out"

"It's cool", she replies, taking a drink John is offering, "we don't go out that much either, well at least I don't. Between classes, the band, classes, the very few friends I have get all my attention, and that usually means tea and a movie"

"That sounds good to me", I agree.

"Yes, but hey, we do go out there into the world at least once a week"

"May be I'll try that"

"You should, it'll enlighten your spirit. Hey, we're about to play a few songs, feel like singing something with me? Could be anything, I'll let you choose"

"If I were you, it'd take this opportunity", John teases. "She usually doesn't let people pick a song".

"Alright, let's do it", I comply.

My legs are shaking and my palms are sweaty, I sip on my beer again before handing it to Mike. He's cheering and being a bit louder than usual, but I think we are a little buzzed by now. Probably, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it. Rachel gives me the other mic, she smiles and whispers something in my ear: "just enjoy". And I will, I do. The music starts and the notes to 'Don't you want me' strum along in the air. I am smiling and just singing, without thinking too much. I can see Mike and the guys from class looking at me and nodding. Some other people are singing as well, some are laughing and I just feel so good. By the time the song ends everyone's cheering and clapping, Rachel looks at me and smiles, "you're great!" I manage to say, and then she hugs me and says to my ear, "we should do this more often". I feel even more buzzed, but this time it has nothing to do with alcohol, it's something about music, people, the song and her warm breath close to my ear. "Come on, Fabray", I tell myself, "enough with the daydreaming… or dreaming". May be I should have chosen something more like Green Day. Whatever. I go back to the party and the band is playing again. Something like Coldplay. I go and mingle, until I find this hallway that leads to a closed door. I open it. It's the owner's room; I go in and see a little balcony. Of course I want to take a look. It's a nice view, I get to see some more snow. I am drinking something else Mike gave me sooner and then I hear some steps.

"What now? Running away from Rob and those guys from class?" I ask.

"What are you talking about?", Rachel responds. I laugh and turn around.

"Sorry, I thought you were Mike. He always walks on me like that. He thinks he still surprises me". She smiles again.

"Are you two like a thing? I can't tell for sure", she inquires.

"No. We're friends. And we did try to date once, when we were 15. It was a mess, but at the end of high school we became really good friends. Then it turned out we both got into NYU. He's a major in art and a minor in English. I am a major in English and a minor in Art, match made in heaven"

"Yeah, I got the feeling you two were close, but I couldn't read into your relationship very well"

"I guess it's odd. But we really are good friends"

"Sure something must still be there, somewhere, I mean you guys dated"

"When we were 15", I dismiss.

"But still… when you're 15 everything's pure and you're discovering relationships and feelings"

"And yourself", I interrupt, "while Mike was really good to me, and I am sure we were in love, I couldn't feel anything else. And there was a good reason to it, but it took me some time to figure it out".

"What was it? Were you in love with someone else?"

"Something like that", I fluster a little, it's still hard for me to come out all the time. But someone's got to do it, "what happened was that I realized I was gay"

"Oh", she says, sips her beer and looks at me, "I see. I mean, I have two gay dads and… for the love of God, I am a musical theater major. So I get it. I just didn't see that one coming"

"What about you?"

"Oh, no I'm not gay"

"No", I laugh a little, partially entertained and partially disappointed, "I mean, are you seeing someone?"

"Sorry! I shouldn't have assumed. Thought I should tell you I find human sexuality very complex and diverse. I'm not big on labels… anyway, I ramble sometimes. But no, I am not dating anyone at the moment, nor I have since high school"

"Wow"

"Says the junior that never goes out"

"Hey! That's for academical reasons"

"Same here"

"But you mean you haven't even been on dates?"

"Well, of course I have, and stuff… one has needs, but nothing serious". I think she blushes a little by admitting to this.

"You're freezing", I tell her. She has her hands wrapped around her stomach.

"I'm not and I quite like the conversation"

"Let's go back in, we can talk some more in there"

"Alright", she complies, "you know, I'm usually the one that calls the shots", Rachel continues.

"Sorry, that doesn't work for me", I reply smiling and I make her laugh. Damn. I can't like a straight girl. I try not to really look at her, I am kind of afraid to see what I might find, what she may find. It's not a good time to fall in love really, let alone fall for a straight girl. Open minded, yes, but straight at the end of the day.

We are entering the living room, when I see Mike on his knees surrounded by other guys, chugging… is that whine? It's horrible to watch, funny, but horrible at the same time.

"Please tell me they're not playing drinking games", I tell Rachel.

"Then I don't know what to say to you"

"I think John's also playing"

"They're just 21-year old boys". We laugh and proceed to pick up my drunken friend from the floor. He's acting funny and trying to high five John.

"Q… listen, I have John's number now, so he's gonna let me know about all of their gigs and stuff, so we can go and listen to them and listen to R…R…Ra"

"Mike", I start, "let's go home". The guy from class, Rob, sees us struggling.

"Guys, here, I'll help you. I brought my car"

"Dude, you own a car? In NY?", Mike's attempting to ask.

"Yeah, well, home isn't exactly near campus… and whatever dude, let me give you guys a ride". He starts moving Mike, who thank goodness is cooperating.

"So, we're going home", I tell Rachel who is now taking care of John.

"Yes, I hope we're doing the same in a few minutes"

"May be we can get Rob to drive you guys as well"

"No need", she replies with half a smile, "you guys go, Taylor is getting us a cab I think and I know Leo went to get some water for this drunkie here".

"Yeah, well, Mike says he has John's information, so maybe I'll see you soon"

"For sure. It'd be cool to see you… both"

"Right, well, bye"

"Bye".

I turn around and start walking towards the door. I feel like I should turn around and ask for her number. We can be friends; I'll get over my crush and we'll hang out and talk about life and music. We'll go to see her play and then watch movies on the weekends. But I don't turn around; I close the door to the apartment, walk down the stairs and get into Rob's car. That's it. We drive to our dorm.

"Hey, Q", Mike blurts, "did you get her number?"

"No, Mike, I didn't ask for it".

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**Thank you for reading. Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

**Thank you to everyone for the Story Alerts and to everyone taking some to read this story. Beta reader required! If anyone is up for this, do let me know. In the mean time, I apologize for all the mistakes, I am working hard on not making them! Read and Review please :)  
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I've been crazy busy. With the assignments I picked up at the school's newspaper, exams coming up and essays due all through the next few weeks, I have more than enough than I can deal with at the moment. Thanksgiving is around the corner and then its Christmas break. While some of us are just going home, I think Mike's thinking about traveling a little, he's been talking about Mexico nonstop. I'd love to come along, yes, but I also need some time to relax, do nothing, and see the family, of course. And then I have been thinking about Rachel… but the NYU geographical distribution doesn't play in my favor. Though may be it does, because we have obviously not bumped into each other just yet. Either way, I have been drowning myself with work very much on purpose and Mike soon notices.

"Look Q, whatever you have going on inside that head of yours, just let it go", he starts saying while we sit in a little coffee shop near by the dorm. "What if we call Santana this weekend, may be her and Britt would up for a visit"

"Finals, winter break"

"Right, look, you haven't been yourself lately. You are actually kind of annoying me". He smiles, I know he's joking, but it's true. I've been all weird and negative lately.

"I know, I'm sorry"

"How about we go out tonight? Rob told me about a party at his friend's house, close to the park. I promise not to get too drunk and we can have a good time"

"Could be…" I do want to go, but I am not sure I'm up for a party.

"Well, what about a birthday party? Those are always fun"

"Whose birthday party is it?" I have learned to enquiry, with Mike sometimes you don't know what he might be up to.

"John texted me today, he's turning 22. Can you believe that?"

"God, we're old.

"I know: so should we go, have some fun and forget the clock is actually ticking?"

"Don't know. The idea of seeing Rachel makes me feel funny and I'm not sure if it's funny good"

"You know? Just because you didn't ask for her number, doesn't mean you screwed up or that you can't be friends or that it'll be awkward forever. And I feel funnier about everyone getting older"

"I know, I know"

"So? Are we going or what?"

"I want to say yes, but…"

"No buts, look, I get it. You feel like you lost your change with her or whatever it is. But you could use a friend, a cool and good one. And hey, forget about numbers, Facebook, Quinn Fabray!"

"No, I mean, if I can't ask for her number then we probably shouldn't be Facebook friends"

"Don't be so strict". I look at him, I want to go to the party and yes, it's probably just me and my crazy head, thinking that things with Rachel are weird. I mean, we only met once after all.

"Just because you are a professional stalker…" I say anyway. I like to mess around sometimes.

"Q… we promised not to talk about that anymore". We laugh some more, I don't know what would I do without him, secretly I hope he never gets a girlfriend so I can keep him for myself. Minus the sex part, we're great together.

"Yo', Earth to Quinn", he snaps at me, "look at me, we're going to go the party, we're having a few drinks. You are gonna see Rachel, get over yourself, deal with your stuff and move on, comprende?"

"Sí, whatever, let's do it. I'm far too young to be this stressed"

"Indeed".

I miss Santana. Even though I love having Mike here, it'd be great to have her here as well. Some days I just need a different type of support and some rough love. See, my friend's really feisty, crazy and sometimes a little aggressive, but she knows what she wants. At least she does now. It took us all sometime to really figure it out. But she came out first, and then she helped me and the world was a brighter place. She never gives up, not without a fight. When we were in High School life was not always easy, but she managed to get around. She always helped me out and taught me how to stand up for myself and live a little, I used to be super uptight but she showed me how to let go and just have fun. Especially when you're in high school, you feel like you're running out of time when, in fact, you're actually just starting to live. Santana, or as Mike calls her, Satan, has a special place in my heart, just like I know I have some in hers, though she'll never admit to that. She's like Hulk in The Avengers, when he pushes Thor right after they won a fight. That's her.

* * *

John's apartment is nothing like I pictured in my head. It's an open space with a big balcony, there's a DJ blasting some music, some people are dancing and drinking on the place where the living room/dinner should be. The kitchen is behind a closed door where I can see some people standing and talking. There's a hallway and a door.

"The door leads you to the bathroom, the hallway to my room", John tells us as we walk into the party. We bring some beer, but I see it was actually not necessary. "There are jelly shots in the kitchen; we have all kinds courtesy of my band mates, and of course you'll find them there. The DJ will be here all night, though I am sure some crazy child will want to perform live… and well, it's some people from school, from Shade, from everywhere, so go ahead guys, mingle"

"Don't mind if we do", replies Mike, handing me a beer. "Hey, let's go to the kitchen". I nod, the place is crowded, although I am sure that a lot of these people don't even know who John is, but he doesn't seem to mind. He is now talking to some tall blonde woman, really pretty. We walk into the kitchen and see Rachel sitting on the counter, with her back to us. Leo and Taylor are standing in front of her, laughing and talking. They recognize us.

"Hey guys", says Taylor first, "welcome to one of the best parties ever. All the cool artsy kids from the city will be here… and then there's us. Come here!" he yells.

We walk towards them; Rachel is already standing up next to him and hugs me when I get closer.

"Oh, God! It's so good to see you", she tells me not letting go. Then she takes a step back, "I thought you were gone for good"

"Rach, don't be so dramatic", says Taylor putting her arm around her shoulders, "she has been talking about you two non-stop this week. She made sure John had invited you to the party and I am sure she was this close to sending a search party to look for you if you guys didn't show up tonight", he finishes while she blushes.

"I didn't think we were that interesting", Mike replies. I am blushing as well and I don't know why. He takes one of the jelly shots, I know he's trying to dissipate whatever awkward mood was going on in the kitchen.

"Man, those are good", Leo says taking one for himself, "come everyone, we have vodka, tequila, whatever you like". I take a red one. "Vodka, good choice… come on Rach, here's a green one for you". I am pretty sure those are the tequila ones. I'll try to stay away from those. We start chitchatting about life and school and where everyone's from. They are not surprised to learn Mike and I once dated, but they seem a bit shocked when I tell them I'm gay.

"Hey, it's cool", Leo explains, "it's… I don't know why are we surprised, we shouldn't assume things from people". Rachel is looking at me, like staring.

"It's great, if you ask me. Man, Quinn, we should go party some time. I mean, we all should", Taylor says.

"Isn't that kinda what we're doing now?", I ask. They all laugh and we carry on with conversations. There's some heavy drinking going on, but actually a lot of fun.

"So, are you two single?", Leo inquires while John joins the conversation.

"Yes, we are", replies Mike taking another jelly shot.

"Mike was dating a really nice girl, but she was a exchange student…", I explain. I don't know why I started talking about his love life, thankfully, he doesn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, I mean, we knew it'd be complicated, but we gave it a shot", he says.

"That's great, that you took the chance", John adds.

"What about you?", Rachel asks. I hesitate for a second and Mike looks at me and smiles.

"I had a girlfriend, we were together for a year and broke up about seven months ago. It was hard and tough. But yeah, it was good while it lasted"

"And you haven't been dating since?", that's Rachel again.

"I… well, not really. Not properly"

"Well, maybe it's about time", John replies, "may be we'll find you a nice girl here". They all nod and then Leo starts pointing at some girl that's standing on the other side of the kitchen. I smile.

"Come on, guys, not right now", I blush.

"Alright, let's get out of here", Taylor says, "let's move to the living room and dance a little."

We all go, the living room is even more crowded, is that even possible? The DJ's playing some electro music, and everyone is just dancing and having fun. So we all get on the dance floor and start dancing. Mike's an incredible dancer and to my surprise, so is Taylor. Leo and I are alright, Rachel of course is amazing and John is a terrible dancer, but he has a great attitude and we're just goofing around. This is what I needed, just to go out and have fun. But then I feel the need for some fresh air, so I just walk to the balcony, "I'll be right back", I tell Mike. The others don't seem to mind and carry on with the dancing.

The view is pretty cool. It's cold but not too much, I can manage just fine without my jacket. I am sipping my beer and trying to relax. Tonight's going great. Granted, I can't really stop looking at Rachel, but I think I'll be fine and we could all definitely be good friends.

"Hey", says a voice coming from the door, "now who's going to freeze to death?"

"Hi", I reply looking at her. She's handing me my jacket and I put it on. "Thank you".

"I wouldn't want you to get sick"

"Yeah, why is that?"

"I care"

"Why?"

"Are you always this weird about people caring about you?"

"Sorry, self preservation? These are my natural reflexes"

"What ever happened to you?", she asks laughing. "But really, you should know people actually care about other people"

"I know", I try hard not to stop looking at her, I also need to move on from things past, my ex, being hurt. Not necessarily with Rachel, but just by talking about these things. "It's just hard for me, to talk about how I feel. And then after what happened with my ex, it got even harder. You know? She knew almost everything there's to know about me and then we were done…"

"I understand, but you have to eventually trust in the world again, you know? It'd hard but doable. I've been there"

"You have?"

"Of course, I mean, most people here have been in love and gotten their hearths broken. It's bound to happen. But hopefully, someday at some point, you'll find the person that will make you whole and will actually stay"

"You really think so? And I don't mean it in a bad way, I just mean… do you truly believe that?"

"I do, I am a hopeful romantic"

"So I see… but yes, I am working on things. I feel much better, you know? School's really well, I have amazing friends and I think I have met some really good and cool friends now"

"Oh, I know, and we're here to stay", she winks. "Now, let's exchange numbers once and for all, and Quinn... let's be Facebook friends?"

"Oh, only if we must... and then may be we could stop from having conversations at people's balconies". She punches me lightly in the arm and smiles.

"Only if we must"

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please review this chapter? Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you everyone for reading and sending some love. Hopefully you'll like this chapter. Things will be picking up from here, but we need to do some setting before. Again, all mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

**Chapter 4.**

Finals are around the corner and so is Thanksgiving. This Wednesday we all get to go home and I'm not really looking forward to it. Mike and I will be heading back home for that and then we'll come back for finals. After that we finally get a much needed break, in the form of Christmas and presents. I think he's still planning on going to México, but I know for sure I am staying in Ohio.

On a different note, I have occasionally been texting Rachel after our last encounter at John's birthday party. I keep reviewing the conversation we had at the party in my head, talking about my feelings is not something I usually do. I don't like being out there, exposed. But for some reason, I felt I could do that with her. And now here I am.

"Quinn, we're late for study group", Mike announces knocking on my door.

"It's open", I tell him and he walks into the room.

"Let's go, you"

"Yeah, just on sec. I am emailing Santana"

"Oh, you mean Satan"

"You know? That's getting kind of old"

"Never! Are you going to tell her about your secret crush on a straight girl?" He ask while sitting on my bed. "But I should say, that girl behaves rather oddly around you. I mean, you do intimidate straight girls more often than not, but with her, it's weird"

"I don't really want to think about that. We've been texting each other but very much on the friend zone. So maybe she was just curious or whatever, I think we have established a very nice friendship"

"And you're cool with that?"

"Yeah, I mean, it can't be any other way and we have a lot in common. Plus, the guys are also a lot of fun. Did you see the post about going to that piano bar after Thanksgiving?"

"Of course I did, and we're going, right?"

"Yes, I actually am looking forward to that. And not just because she will be there, I do feel like singing. I mean, after a weekend with the Fabrays, singing is the cheapest therapy available for me"

"Oh, I know, Q! Now finish that and let's go! We still need to keep up with the good grades"

While we are supposed to be studying I find myself thinking about the party yet again. It was only a few days ago. The chat with Rachel was very nice and smooth, after we discussed exes and feelings, we switched to other topics such as music, movies and books and we found out that we have quite a lot in common. She also told me that her parents are coming over for Thanksgiving and then they're going to visit her grandma on Dad's side (one of them is Daddy, the other dad is Dad) for the holidays since they are actually Jewish. To my surprise, Grandma Berry lives in Columbus, so who knows? May be we'll have some time to hang out while we're on winter break. However, I told her that we shouldn't really count on it. My family is time consuming, my mother would never let me go see someone from NY, she'd say something like "I haven't seen you in over four months, you owe this much to your family", and then my father would say "Quinn, this family is still recovering and we need your full support, we're healing as a family". I am sure my sister will be in town with her husband and I bet this time they are pregnant, so yes, we'll talk about all that stuff.

"I am going to go get some coffee", I say. I am tired of being sitting down and it's only Monday. On the bright side, that means that there are only two more days left of school, on the other hand, it means that I actually have to go to Ohio on Wednesday.

"Hello?", I answer the phone. I don't have it on my contacts list and looks like it's a land line in NY.

"Hi, Quinn", there's a brief pause. Mike and I are waiting for our baggage, we finally landed in Ohio. Here we go.

"Hi, I am sorry, who is this? I can't hear you very well". I walk to one of the sides of the giant room.

"It's Rachel… I'm sorry, is this a bad moment? I figure you'd be home by now since you said…"

"Rach… hi", I start saying, Mike is trying to say something but I turn away from him and the noise from those machines, hopefully he'll pick up my suitcase. "How are you? We just landed"

"Oh, sorry! I can call you later… I just wanted to, well, wish you happy Thanksgiving. I called now because I figure you'll be busy later with your family"

"It's ok. Thank you for calling, happy Thanksgiving to you as well. I was thinking of texting you once I got home… are your parents with you?"

"I am actually at the airport myself; they should be landing anytime now"

"Good. Well, maybe I can text you later, to see how things are. I think I need to get my luggage"

"Yeah, I am sorry I called you at such an inconvenient time"

"No worries, it's always good to hear from you", I am smiling while I say this, why am I? I know I am being flirty. This is me flirting, I know it.

"Good", I kind of think she's smiling on the other side of the phone, but that's probably wishful thinking. "Then we'll talk later"

"Definitely, have fun today"

We hang up and I walk to meet Mike, he has my bag

"So?" He enquiries.

"So what?"

"That was her, wasn't it? You're all butterflies and smiles. I don't know you anymore, Fabray!"

"Shh, don't say that!"

"You know? I wonder if Rachel has any idea on what she's doing"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the day she realizes that she's not treating you like she treats her other girlfriends"

"Oh, come on"

"That day will come, listen to my words", he says holding his hands high, as if saying a prayer. "And then…"

"And then what? We'll fall in love and be happily ever after?"

"That'd be awesome"

"Mike… no", and I pick up the pace. Not the time for this, I have to switch my mind shift to Fabray Mood. Survive the next four days without killing someone. It's doable.

Mom is already waiting for us when we exit the airport. We're dropping Mike off and then we apparently agreed to go to one of mom's friends' house for a little get together.

"She wants to know all about NYU and life in the city, little Lucy is a junior now and needs to start considering her options. Her grades are pretty decent I hear…" she rambles some more about this kid I have seen a few times in my life. I feel kind of awful for not listening to my mother. Maybe I should pretend that I care, but my phone buzzes.

**Santana:** Missing Chicago already.

**Quinn:** Tell me about it, I didn't think I'd miss NY this much.

**Santana:** We should be used to this, shouldn't we? It's just a few days

**Quinn:** Still…

**Santana:** Hang out tonight?

**Quinn:** Hopefully. Say around 10?

**Santana:** Please. Is the Asian coming?

**Quinn:** Don't think so. He's babysitting.

**Santana:** How sweet. Weirdo.

**Quinn:** Hey!

**Santana:** What? Much love for you both. See ya at 10!

"Santana sends her love", I tell Mike.

"Right, right. What did she say? Something about the dancing Asian?"

"Something like that"

"Cute".

We drop Mike off. I am tented to text Rachel, but I think it wouldn't be appropriate, I haven't text any of my other friends from NY to see how are they. Anyway, we're at my mom's friends. It is kind of enjoyable, I like mom when she's happy and smiling. She wasn't much like that when I was growing up; it's great to see some things have changed. Sometimes I forget how much my family has changed. I know I need to be more acceptant and start looking at them with different eyes, but sometimes it's too hard to move on. My cell buzzes.

**Santana**: Fabray, picking you up in a couple of hours at home. You know where we're going.

Oh and I know. Thankfully, mom's saying goodbye and we're heading back home.

"Mom, is it OK if I go out with Santana tonight? After dinner, I mean?", I ask looking at her while she drives.

"I think it'll be fine, Quinnie. I'll let Daddy know, ok? I am sure he'll be ok with that, I mean of course you want to see your old friends"

"Thank you… so how are things here?"

"Oh, you know. Daddy's working nonstop, even though he could just retire, he won't. I think it'd be too much for him, and me, I am fine. Just fine"

"Mom…", she never tells me when something's going on. But of course I know.

"Quinn. I'm alright"

"I know you are. It's just, well I want to know how you feel, how you are"

"Don't worry so much. Things are better now, your father and I have changed so much. I think we've learned. I am sorry we weren't better parents for you, that we weren't more understanding. But we are proud of you, you did it all on your own"

"No, I had you. Sometimes dad. I don't blame you, but just understand that I am still dealing with everything"

"We know. I know. And I am here for you, always. No matter what", she says looking at me at a red light. I am not sure if she knows, or if she's just sorry for everything that happened when I was growing up. Either way, I just look at her and nod.

* * *

After dinner Santana texts me, she's outside waiting. Mom and dad are already in the living room watching the news and drinking some tea. Apparently Fanny is flying in tomorrow along with Tom and news to share. "I'll be back soon", I tell them, Dad nods and mom asks me to say hi to Santana for her.

"Mom says hi", I say getting in the car.

"Yeah, Judy Fabray. Q, I didn't know we were tackling these issues tonight", she replies starting the car

"We're not, trust me"

"Alright, how about I put on some loud music and we sing like the crazy people we are"

"Please!"

We drive around for a few minutes. This is why I love Santana, she knows when I am ready to talk and when I'm not, she knows things and I don't have to explain to her anymore. She's so different from me, even physically; she's a brunette, darker skin, beautiful brown eyes. She has an amazing voice and a great personality. She's strong but level headed.

Driving is something I kind of miss, I think I'll drive on the way back, if she lets me use her car. Is the same one she's had since high school, but she doesn't drive much in Chicago either. I sold mine and I am planning on using it when I graduate college, I'll go travel around the world.

"We are here, our place", announces Santana parking the car. It's a little field just outside of Lima, it's just an open space in the middle of nowhere, we used to come here all the time, at least every Sunday afternoon, just to chat and relax. Even when things got tougher and our friendship got a little hurt, we made it through and managed to keep out little place to ourselves. We came here being just 15 and 16 and…

"Here!", she yells tossing me a beer. And now, we come here to drink. She sits on the top of the car and I follow her. "So, how's the Big Apple"

"Big, confusing, scary even"

"Yeah. I can relate"

"How's Britanny?"

"Q! we said no tackling heavy issues, not yet. Let me finish this one", Santana explains pointing at the beer, "and then maybe we'll start discussing that"

"Alright, so safe topics. How's school?"

"Good actually, you know, hard and whatnot. I am working on my Law School applications"

"God…"

"I know, I sound so serious"

"You do. I mean, it's like… I think grownups seem to have everything figured out, when they actually don't. You think that when you reach a certain age you know things, but we don't. We're not wiser, we're not smarter, and we are just older. It looks like adults know their stuff, but we are adults just like them and we are still figuring things out. So that means that we might never really have everything figured out"

"That's depressing. Thanks for sticking with safe topics"

"You know me… but there's actually a little something I want to talk to you about"

"What is it? Are you pregnant? 'Cos I might not believe it, but I'll pretend I do"

"No, no, you know it's not it", I laugh.

"I know"

"I think I have a crush on someone". She waits and doesn't say a thing, I think she even stop from drinking her beer so she won't choke. She stays still, hoping I'll finish the story. "She's not the type of girl I've dated before, she's a singer, and she's in a band but is hoping to make it on Broadway. She's also shorter than I am, but too cute for words. She has long curly brown hair and bright brown eyes"

"What's her name?"

"Rachel. She… well, here's the thing, and she's straight. Bummer. I know, I don't think I've ever been in love with a straight girl before and it kind of sucks. But I won't let it turn into anything else. I mean, I like her, but that will be all"

"I think it's great", Santana replies.

"What?", it doesn't make any sense. What's so great about this?

"Have you two talked since you got here?"

"I just got here, S"

"Well, have you?"

"Not really, just for like two seconds at the airport"

"Text her"

"No! I told you I don't want to make a big deal out of this"

"Text her. Do it, Fabray or I'll do it for you"

"Alright! Fine, I'll do it" and I start typing on my phone. I am a bit nervous, although the text is quite simple:

**Quinn**: Hey Rach, I am officially home. How's NYC? I'll see you in a few days.

"There", I say hitting send, "it's done. Now would you tell me what on Earth is going on?"

"I just figured you needed to do that. You obviously like her, and yes, I heard the explanation however, that is not the point. What really matters here, is that you are finally showing interest in someone. That is way better than knowing you were still hurting. So yes, maybe this thing with… what's her name? Short, cute, brunette?"

"Rachel"

"Her… Rachel, I prefer to hear you complaining about liking a straight girl, rather than knowing you're suffering over a nobody"

"That's though"

"Rough love, Q, rough love"

"So does that mean we're ready to talk about Brit?" Santana proceeds to punch me, more like hit me in the arm.

"Santana!", I yell at her.

"What! Don't push me Fabray" and then hands me a second beer. Yes, this is us. Rachel texts back and Santana grins.

After the third beer we just talk for a while and then stare at the vast field in front of us. We take in as much as we can before heading back home.

* * *

Frannie and her husband, Dave, arrive early in the morning to help set everything up. She's all smiles and he's being extra nice. I wonder what is actually going on. Some of dad's friends stop by to watch the game, I am sure their wives will not be very pleased with that. Mom doesn't say anything, she has two helpers; Frannie and Dave. I am trying to hide just a little. I go back to my room, my old room and take a look at the window. I have to stop doing this, yes, growing up in this household was hard and yes, dad was unfair sometimes. A lot of times. But he was just trying to figure it out, I think. He never did to hurt anyone and it's not like he was violent or anything. Just pretty close minded, but that happens more often than it should.

"Quinnie, would you please come downstairs and help out a little?", so I do and spend the next few hours cooking and trying to chat with Dave and Frannie about school. So maybe we're all getting better at this whole "being a family" thing.

Dad finishes watching the game and helps set up the table. It's just the five of us now. We share some small talk and remember other holidays with family members and trips we took in the past.

"Now, what mom and I want to do", Dad starts, "is to visit Quinnie in New York, wouldn't that be grand?" I think I flinch a little and mom quickly adds something and the conversation goes on about how great NYU is. This is so weird, about three years ago they were, well he was, completely opposing to me going to NYU, let alone moving to NY. A few hours later we're sitting on the table, food's ready and everything's set for us to say grace when I get a text. It's Rachel.

**Rachel**: I hope my timing's better this time, Happy Thanksgiving!

**Quinn**: Thank you, have fun with your dads, and say hi to them for me even though I don't know them.

**Rachel**: Oh, they are thanking you for being friends with me. Funny people, aren't they?

**Quinn**: Very, we're about to say grace. Enjoy your meal today?

**Rachel**: Yes, we will. You too.

We do our yearly ritual and all the Thanksgiving traditions. Conversation is flowing and so is the wine. Then Frannie decided to share some news.

"I know you guys won't be too shocked… but Dave and I are expecting!"

My parents both stand up right away, they're hugging and kissing Frannie and Dave. I knew it! I am actually very happy for them, they have grown so much together.

"Frannie", I tell her walking up to her, "congratulations" I smile and she hugs me. This is the first real sister hug we've had in a long time.

"Thanks", she replies. "And just so you know, Quinnie, I know about you and Dave does too. And we're ok with it, we love you", she whispers. We pull away and she winks at me. Then Dave hugs me, then dad and mom. I wonder if they know as well. I mean, of course my mother knows, but what about dad? What if he's actually ok with me being gay? This has been probably the biggest issue for me, which I haven't been able to really talk to my parents about my sexuality, my relationships. I always felt they'd be disappointed, but maybe they aren't.

The rest of the night is very entertaining, we play some games and drink some more. Maybe we're on our way of actually being a family; we'll even be getting our very own baby soon!

* * *

I hang out with Santana and Mike for a while Saturday afternoon. We don't talk about Rachel, and Santana won't open up about Brittany either. They've been in this on and off relationship for the past three years. Since we left high school, talk about timing. Anyway, Brit is now in Boston, which is not too bad, but Santana refuses to do something about it. I think she is scared of her feelings for Brit, but no one can help her if she doesn't talk about it. She just shots down when it comes to B. To make things worse, Brit announced a few months ago she started dating this dancer she met on a show. We don't blame her, she needs to move on and maybe, shake Santana's head once and for all. But Saturday wasn't the day for that to happen.

Sunday comes sooner than expected. I still feel like singing, but not for the same reasons as before. I am not too excited about finals and papers, but I am ready to see Rachel again. I feel more… complete this time around. I think I am ready to see her, face my feelings and move on. Who knows? Maybe next semester I'll even fall in love again.

* * *

Mike and I spend the week trying to survive; we've been eating whatever we can find, drinking coffee nonstop and basically, living in the library next to Washington Square. We take turns in getting coffee from the shop we like so much. I am stuck with this stupid paper about Modern prose and poetry. I am listening to some music and going over a reading once more when Mike shows up with the coffees.

"Guess who I ran into on the way here?", he inquires smiling

"A pretty girl?"

"Yes, she's pretty"

"And did you get her number?"

"Nah..", he dismisses

"So, why are you telling me this? Don't waste my time, Chang"

"She wanted me to tell you to eat well and she got coffee for the two of us. She also mentioned that she hasn't texted you because she knows you're busy but can't wait, and I quote 'to see us both Friday night, it'll be great'". I start smiling, alright, she might be as friendly as she likes, but that doesn't mean I don't get to be happy because she wants to see me… and Mike.

"That's the Quinn I like to see", he says giving me my coffee, "happy and positive and…"

"Well, seeing the family so well actually helped a lot"

"I know Q, but with them or without them, you deserve to be happy. Though I am very happy things are better"

"Thank you and I can't wait for Friday, you're singing as well, right?"

* * *

Friday can't come fast enough. Mike and I meet right outside of his dorm and walk to the piano bar. Facebook has been reminding me all week about it, the guys have been posting videos of songs they want to sing and Rachel posted a funny one about a Broadway performer that sang at some event and she seemed to be a bit drunk while singing to "I love rock n' roll". Once we get to the bar we spot Taylor and Leo sitting on a table by the stage.

"Hey, guys", Taylor says hugging and doing all the stuff guys do. "How was Thanksgiving"

"Actually, it was really good", I say.

"Yeah, I mean, Ohio's alright, how about you?"

"Yeah, well, Oklahoma", Taylor replies, "Thanksgiving only happens once a year for a reason"

"So I take you're not a fan of going home"

"Home's alright, it's Oklahoma I don't like, but you guys understand that going back to a small town. Not that I have something against them, it's just…"

"No, we get it", Mike explains, "it's hard sometimes, just going back to something you worked so hard to leave"

"Yes, my point exactly", Taylor says nodding. "Leo here on the other hand, only had to hop on a train and take a little trip to Boston"

"Cool, we have a friend who's going to school there… Boston is great"

"It really is, so Thanksgiving is always a good excuse for me to visit the city"

"Hey, look who's there. Finally! Now we can start this!". John and Rachel are walking towards us, they're all smiles and hugs.

"Quinn!", she yells. Mike gives me a funny look.

"Hi, Rach!", I reply.

"She's been talking about you nonstop", John says, "I think you've made an impact in her life. And that's something to say"

"Well, she has made one in my life". I see her smile.

"So? How about we get some drinks and start signing up on that list?", Leo suggests.

The boys take care of the drinks while Rachel and I go get a list to sign everyone up.

"I'm so happy about this. Because we're so busy with the band, we don't really get to just go out and have fun, I mean, I love being in the band and al but…"

"Yeah, sometimes you just need to do it for the sake of it"

"Exactly", she replies looking at me. "So how was Thanksgiving?"

"Alright, my sister is having a baby... so that was really good new, better than I expected. I didn't have a very good relationship with the parents back in the day, but things are getting better, how about you?"

"It was so much fun; all we did was stroll around the city and eat delicious food, so are you looking forward the Christmas break?", she asks while taking the signup sheet.

"Yes and no. I think it'll be ok and I get to see my friends, but I'll miss being here. School, my friends… my new friends"

"We'll miss you too". I see that she put her name down and her song of choice was Don't Rain on my Parade. I smile.

"You clearly love Broadway and will kill that song"

"Probably", she smiles, "but I also love being in the band. Who knows? So much has changed since I moved to this city"

"Tell me about it… so what's John singing?", I ask.

"Billy Joel's Only the Good Die Young, can you believe it? He has a pretty good voice and will and Tay and Leo are signing together Madonna", we laugh, "they're doing Like a Prayer…"

"Mike's singing It's my life"

"And you?"

"I… well, I think", I flip through the catalog, I had thought about so many songs I wanted to sing, something fun or just crazy, but now I kind of wanted to do something else. Then I saw the name of the song I'd be singing, "this one", I say pointing at the book. "You found me". She looks at me and I think she's about to say something, but doesn't and just writes it down.

"Alright, let's go back to the table". I feel a weird vibe coming from her, but I don't want to read too much into things, so I'll just try to have fun tonight.

At the table the guys are already drinking their beers and singing with the other costumbers that are already on stage. I feel someone's watching me and I catch Rachel looking at me. She smiles, briefly and I wonder what is going on in her mind.

"Thank you, Joe, great job mudering that classic", the host is saying on the PA. "Now, let's give it up for Rachel Berry, she's a junior student at the Tisch School of the Arts and is the lead singer of a band a lot of you know... with no more further ado, I leave you with miss Berry singing Don't Rain on my Parade!"

* * *

**Thank you everyone for reading. I promise we'll be picking up right here where we left and things will start developing. But hey, things take time. Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you everyone for taking some time to read this story. Again, all mistakes are mine! Do let me know what you all think. Thank you!**

* * *

**Chapter 5.**

Rachel starts singing and the place goes silent. Everyone's listening and we're amazed by the fragile-looking girl on stage who posses this incredible voice, it fills the entire room. And I think she looks fragile but at the same time strong and ready. She will be something, someday not too far away. When she's done with the song, everyone stands up and goes crazy. She's all smiles, I practically run to her before any of the boys can get to her.

"You were, well I can't find the right words to describe what just happened", I tell her hugging her. She hugs me back.

"An English Major running out of words? Now, that's something worth noticing". We smile and I break apart just to look at her.

"You were great"

"Thank you, I am really happy you're here tonight", I feel that we're having a moment, but I don't really get to enjoy it because the guys are yelling and now the announcer is saying that it's time for Leo and Taylor's performance, and this is going to be something. We get to our table and the two boys walk up stage. Everyone laughs when they hear the boys will be singing Madonna, only if they knew these two are very talented.

"I fear I'm the only one without some kind of singing ability", Mike complains.

"Oh, don't worry", Rachel replies sipping her drink, "these two are barely able to hold a tune; it's because of their musical training that they sound decent"

"Ouch, harsh much?", John replies and I nod.

"You know what I mean", we look at her. "What I meant was, you'll be fine Mike, even if singing is not your strength, we're here to have fun"

"That's the spirit", I say laughing. She gives me the stink-eye and laughs.

"Now shush and let me enjoy this fine performance", John finishes. We fell silent and I look into Rachel's direction, we look at each other and share a smile. This is fun in a very weird way.

Taylor and Leo finish their song very dramatically and people cheer them in appreciation. We do a stand up ovation and they bow. They come back to the table and the announcer explains that they will move to other tables and people, and will then come back to the "greedy little college students". Some other girls get on stage and sing a Britney Spears cover, now this is fun to watch. I think John and Mike have disappeared and Taylor and Leo are desperately cheering at these girls.

"Do you think they're pretty?", Rachel asks moving to sit next to me. The question surprises me a little.

"Sure, I mean they are pretty and all, they're not the prettiest but…"

"Who do you think it's pretty?", she asks. I feel a little uncomfortable, as if I am being tested and I don't know what the exam is about.

"I don't know, I guess I'm more into other type of girls… why?"

"I am just curious. Was that too weird? God, I'm sorry!"

"It's ok, I was just taken a little aback, but it's alright Rach, we're good"

"Good, sorry. Sometimes I just don't think before I speak"

"It's alright, that's a good thing"

"When you're not making your friends feel uncomfortable"

"Rach…"

"OK, so… are you ready for finals?"

"Sure, as ready as I'll ever be", I say, "I am just worried about this short story I wrote for class. There's something off with it"

"You should send that to me, I can take a look at it and be complete unbiased"

"That would be great; actually, a new set of eyes to read whatever has come out of my crazy mind"

"I'm sure it's great"

"Not as great as your singing"

"Oh, God Quinn, why are you single again? You pay the best compliments, are a complete dork but in a fun, cool way and are truly breathtaking". I feel I am starting to blush but decide to just play along.

"I have no idea, maybe girls haven't noticed"

"Well, they are blind. You truly are amazing"

"So are you, Rach". She's looking at me and is hard to breathe. I honestly don't know what to do.

"Thanks". Brief pause. Mike shows up.

"Beer for the ladies?"

"Yes, please", replies Rachel as the host starts announcing the next act.

"And now, from no other than the Tisch School of Art, an Oklahoma native, John Gilmore". We cheer for him and he proudly walks up to the stage. He smiles and waits for his queue to start singing. He's good.

"You were right, he's really talented", I tell her.

"He's fine", Rachel says. She is harsh sometimes, "alright, he's good", and then she's nice again. "I'm sure either you or Mike will go next. I really want to hear you sing again. We should sing together again sometime"

"Sure, we'll make it happen".

John's singing and people are singing with him. I see some girls making some extra noise to get his attention, he looks at them and wave. Then he looks at us, he points at Rachel and winks. She doesn't do anything and then it hits me. I think he likes her. I am pretty sure he does. But does she like him back? John finishes singing his song; he gets a good response from the audience and greets some people on his way back. I think he's telling them about Rachel and the band because I see him pointing our way.

"Now, from no other than our very own NYU… Mike Chang!". Mike jumps from his sit and makes some weird movements, as if he were getting ready for a box match. He's so funny. I wonder why he's still single. I think I know why, but I don't feel like thinking about it. The other three boys are cheering Mike.

"Rach, do you mind if I ask you something?", I turn around to face Rachel.

"Shoot, after what I asked before, you can ask me anything really", she replies blushing.

"I was just wondering if there's something between John and yourself. I mean, it'd be great, wouldn't it?", I ask trying to be cool.

"No. We're friends. It's funny you should ask, because I don't see him as anything else"

"Just wondering"

"Yeah, I… if I were to say I like someone right now, it probably wouldn't be him"

"I see". Mike's really into his song, he's a rock star.

"Hey, Mike's pretty good as well"

"Yeah, it's because of all the years we spent singing at Glee Club"

"Was the group any good?"

"We made it to Regional's, all the four years I was there, but we were never able to get to Nationals"

"Too bad, we would have met there! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like…"

"No, I think I know what you meant, that would have been pretty cool". Mike is swaying and throws in some dancing movements that surprise the people there. Damn, they all are really good and I am sure the next person singing will be me. I drink the rest of my drink and John gets me a beer. He winks at me and I think he knows I am feeling nervous. Maybe I should have chosen Adam Lambert's song "Whataya want from me?"… maybe not. But here we are.

Mike finishes his song by jumping off the stage, he manages to make look so cool and easy, everyone's cheering him and the boys are all over him, Rachel hugs him.

"You are very talented… I am very surprised", she tells him.

"Thank you! Now there's only one of us left…", he looks at me.

"She'll be great! Now, how about a beer for Mike?", Taylor suggests diverting all the attention from me and I am grateful for that. The announcer goes on to say he'll move to other tables, so that means more waiting for me. We're talking about the performances so far and expectation is building up, maybe they don't really care about me being on stage, but for me this is a big deal. On one hand I want to impress Rachel, on the other I just want to feel like I did when I was in high school except that I feel more like my own person now. I feel different and I want to experience singing, being this new and more complete me.

I guess I most have been really spacing out, because Rachel is now looking at me and then she pocks me.

"Where did you go?", she asks.

"I am right here", I reply.

"Quinn, come on, what's on your mind?"

"I guess I am just a bit nervous"

"Why? You'll be great"

"You think?"

"Of course, and you know I don't pay compliments that often". I laugh.

"I know", now she laughs.

"We should hang out sometime", she's telling me, "you know, just us, no boys". I think I am about to choke but I manage to nod and mutter some kind of response. Then here it is, the host is calling my name. Here it goes. I see the boys cheering and Rachel's standing up and holding her cell, I think she's taking a picture of me, about to throw up on stage.

"They're all yours", he says handing me the microphone. And with that the piano starts playing… "I found God, on the corner of First and Amistad…" and from then on I can't think. I just sing and close my eyes when the chorus begins, "lost and insecure, you found me…" and I keep singing, I hear some people singing along and some hands in the air, swaying. The song finishes and I turn around to look at the pianist, he smiles at me and I nod. People are cheering and I have this great feeling, I smile ear to ear. Some people come up to me to congratulate me. I walk back to our table and I'm surprise to see Rachel walking to me.

"That was great!", she says, "I really felt that"

"Thank you… "

"See? You blew everyone away, me included… that was magic Quinn", and then proceeds to hug me.

"You know", John starts saying standing next to me, "you two", continues pointing at Mike and I, "should definitely do something with us sometime, you have a very interesting voice Quinn… and Mike, man, you're the funniest thing out there"

"Quinn, you were great", Leo adds.

"Yes, you absolutely were", Taylor says padding me in the back, "I think we could head back to my place, play some music and just relax? I don't know about you guys, but I am done with the masses for the night"

"Amen", Mike replies and looks at me. I know he won't go if I don't but honestly, I won't go if Rachel doesn't. I want to talk to her a bit more.

"I can go for a little while, I do have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow", she replies.

"That's cool, I mean, just some jamming and friendly drinks", Taylor explains.

"I think we'll go", I say. Rachel smiles at me.

* * *

Taylor's place is cozy and rather small. Instead of a living room he has musical instruments and a laptop, guess he uses that area as his recording studio. The dinner is no better, there's just a simple wooden table and some chairs, they're all different and funky. There's a small kitchen, a tiny balcony and his room. Despite the mess, I actually like the place; it has a very creative vibe. Taylor heads to the kitchen and opens the fridge, which I am wondering if it actually works. He gets some cold beers, Rachel and I sit on the floor while Mike takes over the keyboard, Leo the guitar and John takes the bongos. The three boys start jamming something, and Taylor starts singing from the kitchen and then steps into the living room handing everyone a drink. Rach and I are silly dancing to the music and humming along.

We switch around; I take over the drums this time. I've played a few times, but I've never been particularly good at it. Rachel's taking the guitar and I think it's just as big as she is. Mike is singing/rapping and Leo is on the keyboards. I know two or three drum patterns so I play that, but I think we're far too funny to actually be doing anything. We stop playing and John takes the guitar and starts singing something. Leo joins and soon Taylor follows. I see Mike walking up to the little tiny balcony. It barely fits the two of us. It's not very cold outside tonight.

"What a night", he says

"It was… is", I reply

"So how are you?"

"Good, I mean it's weird to feel things sometimes, but I think I'm doing alright"

"I think we'll be fine"

"What are you guys talking about?" asks the little brunette joining in.

"Life", Mike replies, "we're just taking advantage of our current state to discuss that topic"

"Can I join?"

"Sure" I say, "you only have to share whatever is on your head right now"

"So many things, love, people, liking people, the future…"

"Oh, the future… I'll toast to that. Let me get another drink for us to share", Mike says and heads to the kitchen.

"What a beautiful night", Rachel says looking at the sky

"It really is", I sight, "I can't believe next year I'll be a senior… we'll be. It's kind of surreal"

"It is. Do you think you'll stay in NYC after?"

"Who knows? Probably, you? Of course you are"

"Hey! You never know, may be I'll stay with the band and we'll get a record deal and move to LA"

"Oh, but then it means I'd have to travel to visit"

"Don't be so lazy, Fabray. We'll figure it out"

"Yeah, I guess we will"

"So, about that thing of us hanging out without the boys"

"Yes, we don't have much time to make it happen before finals and winter break"

"I know. Maybe it'd be a bit easier after we come back?"

"Probably, but if we get to hang out before…"

"Yeah, we'll figure it out. And I have your number"

"Yes you do", we smile at each other and Mike comes back with three glasses of water.

"Ready to toast?", he asks.

* * *

The next few days go by too fast. I really want to meet for coffee or lunch with Rachel but we can't find the time. Whenever she has sometime I have study hall or a project to work on, and whenever I am available, she's studying or practicing or working on something. It makes sense, we both have too many activities to fill our schedules and now we're paying for it. Though I do send her my short story, she replies with some comments and a note about what a great writer I am and how I am going to be the next great American writer. I blush and thank God no one is watching.

Before I know, Mike and I are heading to the airport. I know Rachel's dads are first visiting her again in the city before flying into Columbus. Mike decided to spend Christmas at home and then travel on the 26th to Guatemala. By himself. Then we'll meet at school again. Joy.

We land in Ohio and I text Rachel. I promised her I would and we message each other on the way home, this time Mike's dad picked us up.

"Quinn, you look fairly busy with that phone back there", he says looking to the rear mirror. I blush and Mike smirks.

"She's got someone on her mind"

"A good catch I am hoping"

"Quite a catch, dad, quite a catch", Mike replies.

"We don't know if the person in question is interested"

"I am sure he is Quinn, you're a great girl"

"You sure are Q", Mike grins and I want to slap him in the face.

* * *

Christmas is well spent with Fannie and Dave, mom and dad are also great. I am thinking I should also have the talk with mom soon. Before it all fades away, but I am hoping this new family of mine won't go away. Especially with the news I want to share. On the 25th, Santana stops by at home to say hi. We're hanging out in the living room, watching a bad Christmas movie, mom is in the kitchen while dad, Fannie and Dave are cleaning the attic, apparently there's something up there they want the baby to have. I'll just get her/him something cute… and new.

"Things feel different at the Fabray place", she says.

"Things are different", I reply still looking at the screen

"That's a good thing, Q"

"I know, I think I'll have the talk with mom"

"Seriously?" this time she turns around to face me

"For real, I think she knows"

"Of course she knows. But I am happy for you, Q. and I do see them, more relaxed, more open, if it makes any sense"

"Who knew aging would be a good thing for them". We laugh and my cell buzzes. I open the text, smile and reply.

"Who is that?"

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb, you know who. Is it that girl Rachel?"

"Shh"

"Don't shush me, is it her? Oh God, and to think you said she was straight"

"She is!"

"She's got a crush! Come on, why would she be texting you so constantly? Not even I do that"

"That's because you're a bad friend"

"Lies! Hey, let's hang out with Chang and see what he says"

"Oh fine, it's weird we're doing this. But can we switch subjects?"

"As long as you don't start talking about B, I am good"

* * *

**Thank you, please review. Good things are on it's way!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you everyone for reading, signing up and all that good stuff. Let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

**CHAPTER 6. **

After we finish watching our lousy Christmas movie, Santana and I call Mike, he's leaving tomorrow afternoon. We agree to meet at Breadstix at 4 pm, so we all will go back home at a decent hour to hang out with the parents.

"That kid is crazy", Santana says while parking her car.

"I know, I know, but maybe he'll end up having a better New Year's than we will"

"Next year we should stay in NY"

"We should make a deal", I reply. I would love to do that, know that Santana, Mike and I, no matter what, we'll be spending New Year together, and doing something we've never done before.

"Alright. I think I needed that"

"Same here", I reply exiting the car. Mike is waiting for us at the entrance.

"Chang", Santana greets Mike.

"Satan"

"Guys!", I practically yell at them.

Dinner is actually very pleasant; we go from topic to topic, discussing school, life and family. They are happy that my parents seem to be making a progress at actually being a supportive and loving family. I tell them all about Fannie's pregnancy and how happy I am about this new member of the Fabray clan.

"Alright, there's something I need to know. And Chang, you're the only one that can help me out with this", Santana starts.

"What do you want to know?", he asks.

"Who is this Rachel girl and why has Quinn being holding onto her cell all day, smiling and replying to texts?" I blush and caught myself actually opening a text from Rach.

"Funny you should ask", he replies. "See, we met some pretty cool guys a few weeks ago, they play at a band and it looks like their lead singer has developed a crush on our little Q"

"But is she in fact straight, as Fabray here seems to claim?"

"She is and our sources tell us that Rachel has only being involved in straight relationships. We have yet to know what she actually thinks about Quinn, as we don't have any evidence of her showing interest in a girl before, so…"

"So she might not even be aware of what she's doing", Santana finishes his sentence.

"Correct", he replies. I am just observing my two friends talk about my potential love life. Not that I am now thinking of her as my "potential" date.

"That is great, Q"

"What?"

"This thing here", Santana develops, "this means that whatever is going on between you two, is actually pure and while it can turn out to be a little complicated, as long as you two are honest, things can actually work out really well"

"Things, as you call it, would have to be discussed first", I tell her.

"And what are you waiting for?", she asks.

I don't have an answer.

"I am scared"

"Of being rejected or finding out that she actually likes you?", Mike asks, "Sorry Q, but I have been there, looking at you two dancing this weird whatever dance you two have going on. I am sure that if I call Tay right now and ask him about it, he'll agree that Rachel is not being herself lately, especially not around you. I mean, you heard what John said that day when we went to his party"

"Q! Don't waste any more time!", Santana yells.

"I'll talk to her… once we go back to New York, promise"

"And will you ever talk to B", Mike asks covering his face with his hands.

"Smart boy protecting your beautiful face", she tells him, "I will, we… we talked for a while last week. She's doing well, loving freaking California. Dating someone new. But I am fine, I will be"

"We know you'll be fine", I say, "but that doesn't mean we don't get to talk about it. I miss talking to B, but I think she thinks things would be weird"

"I know. I told her she shouldn't do that, not talking to you. You two are good friends. Call her sometime". We make a brief pause. Suddenly things got a little too intense.

"Well, before we lose our best intentions to have decent conversations, will you talk to your parents before heading back to school?", Santana enquires.

"I will… I think next week, New Year's Eve. We're gonna go shopping together, just us, mom and I. She requested it, I said yes and I think I'll use that time for the talk"

"Good", Santana replies dropping the subject. Then we move on to better topics: salad dressings and snow.

* * *

A few days have gone by after I met Santana and Mike, who is already in Guatemala. He says he loves it, but next time will stick with Mexico. As for Santana, her family took a little vacation to Cleveland, so now she gets to hang out with her abuela and do some gambling. Lucky her. And me, I am sitting in the living room, Fannie and Dave are watching something on TV but I am too busy with the computer, working on my short story. I got a good grade for it, and my teacher suggested I work some more on it if I wanted to, she thought it could potentially lead to something. So I am working on it, but my cell distracts me from time to time. And I just wanted to thank Rachel for helping me out.

**Rachel**: So tomorrow we're flying into Columbus.

**Quinn**: Welcome to the exciting Ohio life.

**Rachel**: Funny, I haven't been there in like forever, do u think we can meet while I'm there?

**Quinn**: I'd love to Rach, but I will be hanging out with mom tomorrow. And we're having the talk. And then, you know, New Year.

**Rachel**: Wow, good luck! I think it'll go OK.

**Quinn**: I hope so!

**Rachel**: When are you flying back to NY?

**Quinn**: Jan 1st, school starts on the 3rd but my parents think I need time to get adjusted again and I am thankful for that.

**Rachel**: LOL, I am flying back on the 2nd can we meet then?

**Quinn**: Absolutely.

**Rachel**:

Fannie turns around to look at me. Apparently I am smiling too much.

"It's good to see you happy, Q. I hope she's good to you", she says.

"Yeah, we'd love to meet her some time. We're going to NY on January", Dave tells me, "something about work, but Fannie will definitely have some time to see you"

"Cool, yes, maybe we can all hang out and… you guys can meet Rachel". I think about explaining the whole situation, or at least tell them that she's not actually someone I am currently dating, but they seem to be so supportive, that I just take in this little family victory and move on.

The shopping day with mom has finally arrived. She woke up early this morning to make breakfast for everyone. She also made a very specific note about things and tasks that each family member has to do during the day, to make sure tomorrow night is a big success for everyone. I was very surprised to learn that Dave and Fannie would be staying for New Year, but apparently Dave's family was traveling to Seattle to meet his sister's in-laws and he wasn't that interested. They mentioned, though, that his family is traveling back to Columbus on the 2nd, so they are visiting them then.

"Quinnie, is time to go", Mom tells me from the bottom of the stairs. I am almost ready, I have money, keys, cell, and the best attitude I can have at the moment, also courage. That's an important thing to have with me right now. Shaking, I send a quick text.

**Quinn**: I am nervous.

**Rachel**: Don't be, your mom will love you for who you are, you're a great person Quinn.

**Quinn**: Thanks, talk to you later?

**Rachel**: Anytime!

**Quinn**: Have fun in Columbus! I'll be near by

**Rachel**: Maybe I'll bump into you.

I try not to think about it, but it is a possibility. I mean, it's not like no one goes shopping in Ohio but this is no NYC, although I'd just like to really be able to concentrate and talk to my mother about this right now, without being all flustered because Rachel is there.

**Quinn**: Maybe we will

Mom is parking the car and talking about all the stores she wants to check out at the mall.

"Quinnie, you're awful quiet today, is everything ok?"

"Yes, mom", I reply immediately, it's a reflex, "but actually there's something I wanted to talk to you about, before we go in there"

"Sure", she looks unsure, she knows what's about to happen, and I have to make it happen now. I close my eyes and breathe.

"Mom, I love you and Dad, and Fannie, and even Dave a little"

"I know, Quinnie, what is it? Did you fail a class at school?"

"No, I got good grades…straight A's, but that's not the point. See… Mom, I don't ever want to disappoint you or Dad"

"I know", she is expectant. I think she's even considering drugs at this point, but in the back of her mind she knows what's about to come.

"Well, the thing is… I will never be like Fannie and have what she has. I am gay, mom. And I think I will spend the rest of my life with…"

"One second", she replies. She puts her hand on her chest and I wonder if she's hyperventilating. I think a parking lot is not the best place to come out. "I'm alright, I'm alright, just a little shocked, that's all", I see tears dwelling on her eyes. She is taking deep breaths.

"Quinnie. I can't say this comes as news, you and I both know that mothers have great instincts. And while I can't say I am crazy happy about this, well, I don't… I want you to be happy. We've been through so much as a family, that I don't want to lose you about something that can make you happy, this is part of who you are, but doesn't define who Quinn Fabray is. You're still my little girl, and you will be forever… even if you are married and with kids, and yes, I know that you will be married to another… woman". Now I am the one who's crying. I knew mom knew, I just wasn't expecting her to actually responding to me so well.

"I know this topic won't be easy to discuss with your father. And I know that we both will agree that we'll have to wait, for a little while. But I think he'll understand in time, what I want you to know right now is that we are your family no matter what. And that I am really sorry if in the past it didn't seem like it, but at the end of the day, we only want what's best for you, Quinnie". She holds me in her arms for a few seconds. I wipe the tears away and notice mom's doing the same thing.

"Now let's go do some shopping, we'll talk some more on the way back".

The visit to the local mall is everything it could have been, running into some familiar faces, old friends from high school are there, some working at the mall because they weren't able to leave Lima and others are visiting just like I am. Mom and I do some shopping and actually have a good time talking about my future and what I might want to do. She's all smiles and I feel really good talking to her. I don't hear from Rachel but I think she's waiting for me to tell her how things went, I decide to wait, at least until we're back home and I can focus on texting her. The way back home is also very pleasant, mom tries to ask me about who am I dating, but she's clearly not ready to talk about it, so I just tell her I am not seeing anyone at the moment, but promise to keep her on the loop with this subject. We don't mention dad or Fannie, but I have the feeling these two have talked about it behind my back. I really don't mind, if this is the way they need to process things, then I am more than OK with that.

* * *

Just like that I am sitting on the boarding room at the airport. New Year's was a big success, we made it until midnight and just an hour later Dad said we all needed to go get some sleep. He dropped me off at the airport, not before giving me his speech about being safe and careful and not too trusted and I don't know. I was already texting Rachel to let her know I was on my way to NYC.

Being back home, this new home, is kind of weird. I am still living at the same dorm I was since my freshman year, yes, I could have switched but never did. Just applied for the same room, I had the same roommate for my sophomore year and didn't get a new one till this year. But I am thinking that next summer I will be leaving the safety of the NYU dorms and I will venture to share a real apartment with Mike. We'll start working on those details come February. I am too eager and excited to meet Rachel.

**Quinn**: So, I am meeting her tomorrow and I think I'll talk to her about you know what.

**Santana**: I love that you don't even mentioned her name. you're so weird.

**Quinn**: Hey!

**Santana**: I love you, go to sleep!

I am fairly tired, I didn't get that much sleep before heading back to the city and I do need to be ready to meet Rach. We agreed to meet at 5 pm at my favorite coffee shop.

"Hey!", she practically yells. She's such a New Yorker. The little brunette is already standing the café's entrance and when she sees me and yells at me. I smile and wave, trying to walk faster. When I finally get to where she's standing she hugs me.

"Quinn! Oh God, I missed you and I don't even know why", she pauses and giggles letting me go. "That came out wrong". I laugh and dismiss the comment.

"I know what you mean, Rach. How was Ohio?", I ask while opening the door to let her in.

"Odd. I mean, I didn't get to do that much. We were there only for a few days, we were at my Grandma's every day, watching movies and baking, basically. Which reminds me, I got you something"

"What is it?", I am excited.

"You'll have to wait until we have some coffee"

"That's mean!"

"Fabray… behave, please. We're at a public place"

"Oh, fine"

"Now, what do you want to drink?"

"Soy Latte, please"

She turns around and gets my drink and hers. She insists but I pay for the coffee, "Fine, I'll get them next time", she says smiling. Oh, God.

We sit at a table with a view to the park.

"This is why I like coming here", I explain to her, "I like being able to see the park, and the people. I like it that it's kind of quiet but if you really look, there's always something going on"

"Look at you, you're all deep and stuff", she says giggling.

"I have my moments"

"Oh, before I forget … " she starts saying, "you know how Leo always stays around during the breaks, holidays", I nod, "well, turns out that during the holidays he met a guy in Westchester at a party with his family and this guy is the owner of New Directions"

"No!", I yell. Not only is he like really famous in the NY musical scene for always having the best bands at his clubs, but his clubs are the place to be, even if you are like me and don't really like going out, you have to be at New Directions at least once in your lifetime.

"Yes, Leo showed him some of our music and he actually thought it was good. He said he might have something for us, he was holding a charity event this Friday 6th, but said he would get back to Leo later on, because obviously he has the whole thing ready"

"And…"

"And, well, he was still very interested, because our music would suit the event. But you know… it's not like he didn't have this whole thing planned for months, so we weren't holding our breath. Anyway, Leo got a call from him yesterday, one of the bands had to cancel because their singer and guitarist got sick! So now we're playing at the thing. I think we'll only have like 25 minutes… but we're playing at ND for a charity even with the rich and famous!"

"Rach, that's amazing! This will be great for you guys!"

"I think so, I mean, it's only 25 minutes, but just knowing that someone like him would even consider us"

"Absolutely… now, how much are these tickets?"

"Oh, they are expensive but we all talked and we get one ticket each, you know, that's our payment, so I'm taking you, Tay is taking Mike, Leo is bringing some girl he wants to woo and John, invited Ray, a friend from back home"

"You guys didn't have to do that! Mike and I could have work something out, I mean you have other friends that have been there since the beginning"

"I know, but we had a little Skype conference yesterday and we felt like this was the right thigh to do, you know? You two have become something special to the four of us and that hardly ever happens", she says reaching to hold my hand over the table. I choke a little and smile.

"Well, that's extremely nice of you; let us at least treat you guys to dinner tomorrow night."

"Absolutely, that shouldn't be a problem, boys like the food and the company and so do I"

"Great, do you have anything in mind?"

"As long as it is vegan"

"Are the four of you vegan?"

"Nope, just Leo and I, the other two are big cavemen", she laughs

"I think I can work with that, Mike and I don't really eat meat, but I do love bacon"

"Oh, God"

"What? Bacon is good"

"You should be glad you're pretty, otherwise I wouldn't talk to you anymore"

"Oh, please"

**Quinn**: I chickened out today, but we're hanging out quite a bit this week.

**Santana**: Chicken

**Quinn**: Don't tease me, this is hard

**Santana**: The sooner the better, put yourself together woman

**Quinn**: Working on it.

* * *

**I hope you all liked it, as you can see, we're still moving forward. Things are about to start falling into the right places and then we'll see what happens.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you to everyone that's following this story. I am hoping to update a bit more often, as I am not going to be very much available on the next few weeks, however I promise to always do my best with each chapter and the story. Do let me know what you all think!  
**

**Chapter** **7**

Mike and I take the guys for dinner on Thursday, they are all super excited about the upcoming gig, as they should be. I think, if anything, this opportunity will help them realize how amazing they are, as musicians and entertainers. For us it was a big honor that they decided to invite us ("well, Rachel picking you is a no brainer", Mike told me when we met on Wednesday, for the first day of school). Of course, dinner has to be short because they've been practicing non-stop, ("Rachel is going crazy, I swear", Taylor says laughing when she goes to the restroom) and they need to go over every detail. But they all understand and know that they have to be more in tuned than ever.

"Quinn, let's go, you don't want to be late…", Mike says sitting on my bed.

"I know, I know, just give me two minutes", I reply

"Well, you know what Rachel said 'you have to be 8 pm sharp, not a minute later'", he explains trying to impersonate her.

"Don't do that. And just give me a second, I'm almost ready".

I am freaking out a little, the fact that she wanted me to be there means the world to me, however it only messes with my head a little bit more. I want to talk to her about whatever it is that we have going on but I just can't, especially not now, she has a million things on her mind right now. She needs to think about her gig and focus on that. Maybe this weekend, we agreed to hang out at some point, so that would be a good time for us to talk. If she says she doesn't feel anything and doesn't freak out to begin with, then I can just set my mind to have a nice friendship with her. If she says she feels something, then I will be the one freaking out probably. But just because I'll be way too happy.

When I finally leave the room Mike's standing next to my door.

"You look amazing, Q", he says. I blush a little, but that's good, I really wanted to look good for tonight.

"Let's do this".

We take a cab and I get a text;

**Rachel**: Please tell me you're on your way.

**Quinn**: Yes, we are. Driver says it should take about 20 more min.

**Rachel**: That's good. I'm freaking out!

**Quinn**: You'll be more than great, you'll be perfect! They are gonna love you!

**Rachel**: Thanks see you after the performance?

**Quinn**: Absolutely.

There's an after party. They play, we all hang out and then after party at the club. Tonight will be quite a night.

We finally make it to ND, and it is then when it really hits us. There's something like a red carpet, photographers and a lot of people in really nice clothes. I think we look a little bit out of place, as much as we are wearing our best outfits, I don't think they can compare to these peoples clothes. Mike senses my weirdness and just takes me by the arm to the club's entrance. We show our tickets and the guard checks the lists. Around us there's a lot of craziness going on, photographers yelling to the celebrities who just turn around everywhere, trying to please these strangers.

"That was something", I tell Mike as the bouncers let us in.

"I know", he replies, still processing the whole thing. Once we step in there, we are taken to the main room.

"Hi, my name is Cecilia, I am one of your hosts tonight. I will be taking you to the main room, where you can see the items that are being auctioned tonight. Please make sure to read all the information about what causes we are supporting through this event", she hands us a pamphlet. Then she keeps talking, "Also, the list of the bands and performances that will be here tonight are in there, they were all personally picked by Mr. Schuester, as he is always trying to provide with the best entertainer. The catering service will be available until 11 pm. The bar service will be available all night, please enjoy the evening, and keep in mind there's an after party at one of Mr. Schuester's roof tops", she says smiling and going back to the entrance. I wonder if she does that to everyone, I am sure there are more like her but I just don't see them, all I see as we walk into the main room is beautifully decorated, all the items are placed in different locations within the room.

"I wish I knew how people do that", Mike tells me.

"Do what?" I ask him

"Putting everything in the perfect spot, choosing the right lighting, the exact music"

"I don't know, but whoever did this is a genius". The stage is also looking amazing; they have these fabrics that make it look as if whoever's standing there is part of a dream. And maybe they are. I look around and I really don't recognize a lot of these people but they all know each other, although there are some familiar faces, probably from TV. I don't know how many people are on the guest list, but I am thinking that it was actually very selective. Around the people that I think I have seen somewhere, I see some socialites from the NY scene and a few actors and actresses I've seen in movies or TV shows, I try to behave but Mike's really acting like a fan boy.

"Q, I think I am gonna have a heart attack. Do you see that?"

"See what?"

"It's Mary Ann DeFrancesco, the actress that was on 'The Skim and the Famous' "

"Mike… behave, we're here for the band, remember?"

"Yes, but I think they'll understand if I get kicked out for trying to get her number". I scold him and he just says "Oh, fine… you win, they better rock up there"

We wander around for a bit, music starts at 9, so we have a whole hour to check out everything at this place. The stage, the food, the drinks, the items for the auction, everything looks wonderful. Just like the prices for the things! I think I'd have to stop eating for at least 6 months to afford some of these things, they are all paintings from famous people I assume, at least according to their bios. Some others are clothing and accessories, trips, boats, dinners at private restaurants. I wish I could surprise Rach with buying something… I shouldn't even be thinking about it. Mike and I get some more wine when the host is announcing the first performer of the night. He is some world class pianist, and apparently has worked with some of the big names in the music industry AND was in charge of the score for some teen movie I never saw. This guy is actually quite skilled and receives a lot of cheering when he's done. Then there'll be a duet, playing some Irish folk music and then our people, finally. After them they have some performers from a new show that will be on Broadway and then a "surprise performance", which Mike thinks is some famous person or a new act or something, I am thinking it'll be someone new since that is what Will Schuester is known to do. The Irish people are very decent but I am too eager to watch Rachel and the boys take the stage.

Finally, the host is saying something but I don't understand what, he's probably explaining who they are and whatever. I think I am too excited because I keep smiling, but not really listening, until I see Rachel taking the mic and saying help to people and how thankful they are to be there and excited to be involved in a good cause. She looks beautiful, she's wearing a simple black dress, but her legs look amazing, her hair is flawless and I am sure she smells like roses.

"Seriously Q, I think you're drooling", Mike tells me and I slap him in the arm. We'll talk later; I want to hear them play. They start with a few Broadway tunes, then a rock classic and a new version of some pop song I think I've heard on the radio. Finally, they play The Civil Wars and then some song Rach announces as an original. I didn't know they have original music, I'll have to ask about that later. When they finish playing their song the crowd goes wild, they really are on to something; I can't believe everything that happened just now. She sounded perfect and the music was extremely well executed.

A few minutes later I get a text from Rach;

**Rachel**: I can't believe what just happened!

**Quinn**: I know, you were perfect and the guys were also amazing!

**Rachel**: I think I'm in shock right now.

**Quinn**: When will they let you join the party?

**Rachel**: After the surprise performer's presentation, 'cos that's when they start with the actual thing.

**Quinn**: Can't wait!

**Rachel**: Me too!

The guys from the Broadway show are good, but people don't seem to respond as well as they did with Rach and the guys. Finally, they are about to introduce this new singer or something, and then we'll get to see the guys. They are taking their sweet time in doing so, because apparently they're trying to create expectation, but they're only making me wish I could go backstage even if I have to run over the security guys.

"And now, we bring to you, Will Schuester newest star: Jesse St. James!", the host announces and the crowd goes wild. May be they know him or something? I don't know, but the kid's got a good voice and he is a very talented dancer. He actually plays the piano for his next song and all. The whole 25 minutes are very entertaining and at the end Will Shuester appears and raps a bit of one of the songs. I must admit that was somewhat weird, but since it's his party and his action, he can do whatever he wants. We all obviously cheer and clap at the end of his performance. Then Will takes the mic and thanks everyone for being there.

"You know we are supporting different causes here, we have all kind of stuff being auctioned so just don't be cheap and have fun, I'll be here all night and would love to talk to everyone about the performances you saw tonight, because as you know, I only show the best of the best and I believe each of the individuals here tonight are exactly that, but I wouldn't mind hearing it from all of you! Also, please don't forget to donate, play the auction game and most important, and have fun, because this is what we came to do tonight!"

Once he's done with the speech, he jumps off the stage and the host presents the first DJ of the night, which can only mean our friends are about to be released from backstage. Suddenly I see Rachel running towards us, with the guys right behind her, the dance floor is filled and there's some other people still looking at the items, since they still have one more hour for them to play before Schuester closes the auction and tells us how much money was raised tonight.

"Quinn", she says looking at me, all I manage to do is hold her, the boys are talking to Mike and we're all too excited. Taylor gets some drinks for everyone, and they really deserve them, we need to calm down a little and celebrate.

"You guys were amazing", I tell them taking a step back. I hug the other boys and Mike talks to Rachel.

"I feel like we can do anything now, you know?", Leo says. "it's… I can't even begin to describe what I feel"

"Yeah, I know what you mean, bro", Taylor replies.

"You guys are on to something", says a voice coming from the back. We turn around and it's Will Schuester, THE Will Schuester. "It was great that the other band had to cancel, you guys really surpassed my expectations, congratulations. Leo, please keep me on the loop on your next performances and whatever you record or upload, I definitely want to keep you guys tracked, who knows? Maybe someday we'll be making business"

"I am sure we will", Rachel tells him. She looks so sure of herself, though I know she must be dying inside. He shakes her hand.

"You have an amazing voice, young girl. I can see you getting anywhere you want. Just don't ever forget who you are"

"Never"

"Good, have fun tonight guys, maybe I'll see you all later. Bid on something, alright?"

"Already did, sir", Mike tells him, "we bided on that trip to Istanbul"

"Excellent choice. Enjoy the evening, kids". And he walks away. We stand in awe for a few seconds.

"Rach, you can do whatever you want", I tell her while holding her hand. She squeezes back and hugs me once more. Leo and Taylor are toasting with Mike and John is just standing there.

After a few minutes we take to gather ourselves, we agree to get something to eat before they take that away, we get a little bit of everything and get together in a corner where we share our food. People stare, but we obviously don't care. We have some fun at the party and the auction is also quite entertaining, the guy in charge is all sweaty and red. He is trying really hard but people respond very well to him. At around 2 am Schuester announces the after party, so we go. Of course we go. We're all happy and dizzy and just enjoying each other's company. Rachel is grabbing me by the arm and we just laugh.

"You know?", Leo starts, "this kid Jesse was hitting on Rach before we went on stage", he laughs. This roof top, apparently is part of a building Will owns, and the music is great. Some people went home, so the crowd not as big as before, but there're still some familiar faces.

"I wanted to punch his face", John says looking aggravated, I hadn't seen him like this before. "Really, I mean just because he's some hot shot doesn't mean he gets to flirt with girls like that"

"Dude, calm down", Leo tells him

"We were there, had we seen Rach uncomfortable, we'd had done something", Tay continues.

"Perhaps, but still, he doesn't get to do whatever he wants", John continues ranting. Rachel looks uncomfortable.

"John, calm down, you guys were there… and he was just being nice", she tells him.

"Nice? Rachel wake up!", he is getting angrier and we don't understand what's happening but people are starting to look at us.

"You calm down bro", Taylor tells him grabbing him by the arm.

"Rach, don't you get it? I like you… I – like – you", he says motioning with his hands. We all are surprised, I mean of course I knew he had a thing for her, but where did it all come from?

"Man, shut up now. Let's walk away from this right now. We have too many emotions and… dude you didn't even drink that much, so please, maybe it's still the rush from whatever happened but please, calm down. You two can talk later", Tay continues.

"No, no. I want her to know now, before some other… person", he says looking at me now, "comes here and tries to take her away from me"

"John I am not a thing people can take", Rachel tells him

"You know what I mean", he replies, "we're good for each other"

"John, I don't want to do this here. Why don't you go home and relax?"

"Yeah, let's go man, I'll take you home", Taylor offers.

"I can help you", Leo says.

"No, it's cool. You stay with the guys and enjoy the party".

John is quiet. I see him open his mouth a few times, but he's finally silent.

The mood has changed. Leo gets some water for everyone, Mike's looking at me. I know he's worried about this little situation.

"Guys, look, we'll deal with whatever is going on later", Leo begins, "we're here, Tay wanted us to have fun, so Mike, what would you say if you and I invite those two pretty ladies to dance". For a second that he's going to invite us to dance until I realize he's got his eye on some girls on the other side of the roof. Boys.

"I am sorry", Rachel tells me.

"For what? It's not your fault and I had fun all night. I mean, look at this, we're on someone's roof, partying with famous people who don't know who we are…yet"

"I know, I just don't know what happened with John"

"He likes you"

"But we're just friends. I don't see him as anything else"

"Don't think too much about it. We'll figure it out later. This is your night"

"But still…"

"Rachel, come on, let's go dance and sing and just be crazy, ok?"

"Alright"

So we hit the dance floor, they start throwing some kind of foam and it's all watery and I think I am going to slip so Rachel and I take our shoes off and hide them somewhere, we're just crazy dancing but at this point no one cares. Then a good song comes up and we start signing, almost shouting. Mike and Leo are still dancing with the other girls and they wave. I look at Rachel and I feel her looking at me. I freeze for a second and I notice she stops dancing. She takes one step closer to me and puts a strand of my hair behind my ear. I don't move but our eyes are locked. "Here goes", I think, when I suddenly feel someone pushing me from behind, which causes me to push Rach, who almost falls down but thankfully manages to grab my hand. Some weird drunk guy was being dumb and started pushing his friends. I want to kick him so bad.

"Are you alright?", I check making sure she's standing up. She seems to be a little flustered so I try not to move too much.

"I'm OK, do you want some more water?", she asks not looking at me

"Sure, but I also want to go home, I think it's time"

"I agree, let's go find the boys", she tells me leading the way. This time she doesn't take my hand nor looks at me. And it hurts.

We take a cab together and drop Leo and Rach off first, then Mike and I go home. Before she hops off the taxi she asks if we're still hanging out tomorrow afternoon. "More like later on today", she rephrases smiling. I tell her it's on and she waves goodbye. So maybe things are not bad after all?

* * *

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone, once more: thank you for reading and adding up the story to your lists and /or reviewing. Thank you for that. Im sorry that it took me some time to update, I'll do my best to keep on writing though I must say: I am going away for some time, though I will have my laptop with me I don't know how much time I'll have to work. Do know something, I have layed out what I want for this story so it pushes me to write.  
**

**Chapter 8.**

I don't open my eyes until 11 am. My alarm didn't go off and where did I leave my cell? I get up, my roommate is still sleeping. She was probably out as well; I don't remember seeing her in her bed when I came back. I walk into the kitchen and I see my phone sitting on the counter, I probably left it there when I went to drink some water before heading to bed. I pick it up and see two texts from Mike, one from Santana, one from John, one more from Leo and then about 5 from Rachel and three lost phone calls. "Damn it", I mutter to myself.

**Mike**: Hey Q, lemme know if you wanna hang out today (about 9:30 am today, what was he thinking? We were out until 3 am)

**Santana**: Spill it! (9:35 Seriously? Sleep in people!)

**Mike**: Took care of Satan BTW; you owe me (9:47, I do owe him)

**John**: I am sorry about last night, hope we can talk sometime this week. Sorry (9:58 am)

**Rachel**: I guess you're sleeping, but call me once you're up (10:00 am, not a second later)

**Leo**: Hey, we're thinking about getting together at Tay's tomorrow night, you guys should come. Call me (10:13 am)

**Rachel**: Quinn, get up! (10:20 am)

**Rachel**: I am hungry. I demand some lunch (10:35am)

I see the missed phone calls, at exactly 10:45 and 11:00 am, so I just missed this last one for a few minutes. I gather myself, I feel alright, just sleepless. So I take a deep breath and remember what was about to happen a few hours ago, a kiss, how it didn't happen, and how things got a little weird and then it was all good. And she wants to hang out with me, so we're still talking and life's good and all.

"Hey, Rach", I greet her trying to sound casual.

"Hi, Quinn… how are you this morning"

"Good, you know, a little bit tired"

"Oh, so, maybe you want to hang out some other day?"

"No, it's fine, I mean, we can have some lunch, go to the movies, walk around. As long as we don't go to another party or something, I'm fine"

"Yeah, I know, I am definitely not in the mood for another party"

We agree to meet at noon at a little place she likes nearby Central Park. It's a cozy little vegan restaurant, just like a lot of these places in the area, it's meant to fit a large group of people, yet from the outside it looks really small. But I like places like this. It has a modern feel to it, while it remains calm and just nice. Exactly what I needed today. On my way to the restaurant I call Santana and tell her all about the gig and the after party and John and the almost kiss. "But it didn't happen, make it happen", she demands. We also agree that she'll be visiting next weekend, she'll get here on Saturday and will leave Monday morning, as she doesn't have to be present for class that day.

"Hi", I greet Rachel when I see her walking to our table, since I got there first, I just decided to get some tea and take a table while waiting for her.

"Hi Quinn", she leans down to hug me. I smile.

"So, what a night last night"

"I know, it was quite eventful… but hey, before we start talking about it, we should order, I am starving!"

"Sorry"

"Not your fault…well, maybe a little. But you can make up". I am wondering if she's flirting or just being friendly, I have good instincts, how come there's not a wiki how for "How to know if she's flirting". Hard to tell at this point. So we order, she helps me pick something and the waiter leaves.

"Alright…", I start, "so, first, how did you feel up there on that stage last night… and Will Schuester, he loved you"

"I know", she squeaks a little. Then blushes and starts talking again, "I know, it was overwhelming. I was just on the phone with Leo, he says he got an email from someone that saw us last night and wants to see us play again. So I think more people are finding out about us, we're meeting tomorrow night – and I believe Leo already invited you two for dinner – we're getting together a bit earlier ourselves to discuss this. It's probably time to work on some more original stuff"

"Yeah, I wanted to ask about that"

"We usually don't play our music. We never did before, but it felt like it was time to showcase some of our own music, so they could know who we are a bit better. We have a few more songs and we're doing more song writing, for sure. I was actually thinking, if you wanted to of course, if you're interested in having your short story turned into a song. We can talk about it, but I remember this part in the story, that sounds more like poetry and I can see myself singing that part". She pauses, expecting an answer.

"Of course I'd like that"

"Good. Well, we'll be working on that and recording a few songs, so it's all getting more serious and that is also something that we need to talk about tomorrow. Especially with the John situation"

"Right, I remember something about that", she laughs a little. And then gets serious.

"Yes, well, I just want to make sure he knows that I love him, just as a friend. That I am not attracted to him, but we wouldn't be the same without him. We talked for a few minutes this morning, he was sorry and all. But we'll talk more about it tomorrow morning"

"You have many big talks tomorrow"

"I do", she says frowning, "I think he'll understand, I mean, he's a great guy and I know that he loves music more than he loves girls, so hopefully we'll talk about whatever is going on in that little head of his and move on past that"

"So you have no feelings for him?"

"Not romantic feelings, no"

"I see". I want to ask her if she has feelings for someone, but I am a bid coward.

"But I wanted to… well, last night was great and fun and I love hanging out with you, at a party like last night or just doing little things, like this. And I know that you know what was about to happen last night".

I don't say anything, I am blushing but thank you, Universe, because the waiter's here, that gives me a few seconds to recover. Once he leaves she keeps on talking, barely making any eye contact. I don't even touch my food just yet.

"Look, I like you a lot, I mean… I don't even know what I mean, but I do know that you're one of the best friends I have right now in my life and I don't want to lose that, so I am sorry if I was about to make things confusing or something, because I don't want that. Not that I don't want you, but I don't think I could afford to lose you so I really hope we can still be friends, I mean, I know I was the one who was about to initiate the whole thing and you definitely were the best person out there. So, what I am trying to say is I'm sorry please let's be friends".

For a second I think she's about to start hyperventilating or crying, or both. But she doesn't. Instead, she finally looks at me. I try to remain calm, of course this is breaking my heart, but we knew all along that this might not even start, so why get upset? It was my fault for thinking that something was going on here, while she was just confused and trying to be a good friend, but mostly just confused.

"Rach, look, it's alright. We're friends, I also really like being friends with you and I don't want to lose that. So no worries, ok? We're fine"

"Thanks"

"Now, let's eat, you can pay since you feel so bad, and then movies, does that sound good?"

She smiles and nods.

* * *

The week flies by again, dinner with the guys was very pleasant, John apologized to everyone and we all agreed that it was cool, "I could never leave you", Mike told John at some point hugging him, making everyone laugh a little. I still talk to Rach everyday, even though we didn't have any time to hang out; I want to do as much work as I can to make sure I can spend all weekend with Santana. When I mention to Rachel that my best friend is visiting and that she was also in Glee club, she insists on going to a karaoke. I run the idea with both San and Mike and the two of them are extremely happy with the proposition, so karaoke it is. We also invite Leo, Tay and John, but the latter says he won't be able to make it, family stuff. Taylor confirms this version, pointing that we all have really moved on from last weekend, so we believe him.

I don't go out on Friday night; instead I watch a movie with my roommate and her boyfriend. Mike tags along. Rachel and the guys are rehearsing and working on new music, so we're not allowed to listen to this new music, not yet. "You could potentially distract some people here", Taylor yells stealing Rachel's phone when we were talking on Thursday night.

"Are you sure you're alright?", Mike's asking while we're watching the movie and sees me replying to one of her texts.

"Yeah. I mean, it hurts a little, but I am OK. Definitely considering on getting a pet once we move to our own apartment"

"We totally should, and hey, are you working on your apps for the summer internship?"

"Yes, mom"

"Good", he replies and goes back to watch the movie.

Mike and I go get San at the train station. She's only carrying a small bag so we decide to go stroll around NYC, there are some outside cool events taking place at Central Park so we go check that out. I have to cover the story for the paper anyway. After a few spoken word performances and a stand up routine by a local group, I interview one of the organizers while San and Mike get something to eat on a street vend. We take the subway and head to my dorm so we can get ready for tonight. While Santana is in the shower, Rachel calls me to check on time and stuff, she says she'll be picking us up and all. This is weird, but I try not to think about the fact that she admitted wanting to be with me but not wanting to risk our friendship. I feel like I should be a but resented, I didn't get a saying in this, did I?

"Q, really. It's fine if you don't want to be friends with her for a while", Santana says while exiting the bathroom

"I know. But that's the thing"

"You prefer this over nothing"

"Exactly"

"Damn"

We go to the lobby at exactly 9 pm and Rachel's already waiting, she looks really beautiful tonight, but all I get to say is a "you look great tonight". She smiles and looks at me, and then introduces herself to Santana.

"I've hear so much about you", Rachel tells her.

"Same here, though I still have my doubts". Good Lord, please don't let this happen, I pray silently.

"I guess I'll have to win you over"

"I think so"

Mike looks at me, I know he knows what I'm thinking.

Rachel walks next to Mike, letting me and Santana walk together so we can catch up.

"She's really pretty, Q"

"I know"

"And she seems nice"

"I know!"

"Sorry, it's just… I am trying to find a reason not to like her… I mean, I know she's kind of a coward"

"But honest"

"So I don't get not to like her. But I'll find something"

We laugh, we know she's just trying to make me feel better.

Once we get to the karaoke we see Taylor and Leo waiting for us already. Clearly, they know Rachel and how important it is for her to be always right on time. I make the introductions and San seems to hit if off right away with Taylor, she even makes a joke about him trying to make a move on her and he gets all "Quinn, why do you have hot and fun friends that are out of my reach?" and I just shrug. Rachel brings a list so we can put our names on it, this time the boys don't feel like singing, but Santana is ready. I choose a funny song because I just want to have fun tonight, and not get all serious so I pick "Call me, maybe" and San chooses a Demi Lovato song. Rachel chooses a Celine Dion one, which is very relaxed for her usual likings. Some beer is flowing around, snacks and cups of water. We are all having a really good time talking, Santana, Mike and I share some more about our high school experience;

"Wait, so let me get this straight: you two dated the same boys back in school?", Leo is asking.

"Kind of…", I reply.

"Good God, this is too Dawson's Creek meets Gossip Girl", Leo says. We all stare at him.

"What? Fine, I might watch too much TV on Netflix, so sue me"

Taylor and Santana are moving to heavier drinks and Rachel just glances at me, we know we'll have to deal with those two later.

"She's so much fun", Rachel tells me.

"She's the best", I reply.

"You're the best", she continues while placing her hand on my right leg. We're kind of facing each other and Santana sees that movement and arches an eyebrow. I don't say anything and then they announce Rachel's song. She's just being goofy up there, but flawless of course. At the end of her performance she waves at the crowd and then winks at me. I mean, she's looking at everyone, but I know she's winking at me. But why? Takes about half an hour for Santana's song to go and she just nails it, she sounds so much better now. The boys and Rachel are impressed.

"Told you!", I say when she gets off stage.

"But you… Santana, that was great", Rachel tells her.

"Thank you"

"A girl that's smart, sings, is fun and drinks beer with me… Santana, you're killing me", Taylor tells her.

Rachel keeps doing this touchy feely thing routine through the night. Though Santana doesn't say anything out loud I know she's looking. There will be questions later, questions I don't have answers to and I certainly do not know how to explain how come I am not stopping this. My song comes up next after a few songs. Rachel stands up and is cheering. She looks ridiculous but makes everyone laugh. We stay there for another hour before calling it a night, we need to be ready for tomorrow, since we're doing some touristy stuff and the band needs to rest because they're rehearsing all day. We're not invited, not yet.

* * *

The following day is full of Papaya hot dogs and a little tour around Ellis Island. I can't hear the end of Santana's speech about how Rachel was behaving last night, being all touchy feely and flirty.

"Look, I let that happen, so it's not just her fault"

"I know, Q. I am not gonna tell you what to do, I think you know what you want to do. And, I told you before, I like seeing you being flirty and stuff. So, even if she ends up breaking your heart with all this cowardice, at least I know you had fun and you were happy and we'll just mend your little heart once again. But man! She wants you, I wish I could just push her into accepting it"

"Maybe that wasn't supposed to happen with me"

"BS", Mike adds.

When we go to bed at night, Santana kisses me on the forehead and tells me "I think she'll come around. But I am proud of you my little Quinn, right now".

"I love you too, San", I tell her before closing my eyes.

* * *

Monday morning Santana and I get some breakfast at one of the NYUs cafeterias. Then I drop her off at the train station so she can go back home and I head to class. I had a lot of fun with her and Mike this weekend, it's always good to catch up and share little things with my friends. And it's good to know that Santana actually approves of this whatever thing I have going on with Rachel. We didn't talk much through the weekend, but I think she knows I'd be busy with San and then she has rehearsals to concentrate on. But right after I sit at my desk in class, I get a text from her;

**Rachel**: I am sorry about Friday

**Quinn**: What about Friday?

**Rachel**: I acted weird, after I said I wanted us to be just friends

**Quinn**: And we are

**Rachel**: I am sorry.

**Quinn**: We're good. Let's hang out soon.

**Rachel**: That'd be good, how about Wednesday?

**Quinn**: That could work, I'm done with class at noon

**Rachel**: Wednesday it is.

Then I text Santana;

**Quinn**: Fine, I think I might be a little bit in love. Not doing anything about it though.

**Santana**: S – 1 , Q – 0


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, thank you for reading this story! I must say, it'll take some time before the next update; real life is getting in the way and now it's time for me to go out there. But I will try to update as much as possible, I will definitely finish the story the way it is supposed to and there's still a lot to explore. Thank you again for reading.**

* * *

**Chapter 9.**

I wake up with this weird sense of something, that something's going on this Wednesday morning but I'm not sure what. I know it has to do with the fact that I will see Rachel. Mike told me last night that it was about time I did something, or she did something. I think so too. At least I think she should kiss me, so she'd know what she's missing out, but then I think I should respect her wanting to be friends. But then again what happened last Friday wasn't exactly friendly. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I just decided to have done something three weeks ago, would I still be put in the friend position zone? Or would she and I be an item by now? And then I wonder what would happen if she would want us to be friends, in spite of having kissed, and then I think that I would run away if that was the case. I would run away, wouldn't I?

I only have one class today, the seminar class is optional and though I always attend class, I think Rachel is a worthy reason for me not to show up today. Plus, it's not like I'm flunking the class. I am barely able to concentrate and San and Mike are doing their best to make me feel even more nervous.

Finally, it's 11:50 and I head to the main entrance of my building, we agreed to meet there and walk around. There's a little place where they have amazing coffee and vegan cupcakes that I think Rachel will like. I see her as soon as I open the building's door. She has this bright pink umbrella, because it's starting to rain. This is what happens some days through the spring; it's still cold from the winter. She sees me and she smiles and I smile back, I can't help it. She hugs me once I stand next to her, she smells like roses and I know that is such a common place.

We walk around for a while, she's telling me all about their new music and how next weekend we'll be allowed for a private rehearsal. She tells me some more about her dads and school and how John has gone back to his normal self, though they haven't been able to discuss any more of what happened at the charity thing. We finally head to the cupcake place, where I tell her all about school and my internships applications, she looks happy about me staying in NY for the summer. I also tell her that Mike and I are starting to figure out our plans to move in together. As roomies.

"I think that's be so much fun, kinda like Will & Grace but the other way around", she says.

"I know, we should pitch the story to HBO"

"We are going to be millionaires!", she replies sitting down on one of the tables. It's cozy in here, a nice break from the colder weather outside.

After the cupcakes we stroll around the park for a little while, she grabs my arm and insists we take the bus to go to Times Square, there's a movie she wants to watch and they're screening it at a little theater in the area. Once we're out, it's starting to get dark and late.

"You brought me here to watch Funny Girl", I tell her.

"Yes, I did", she replies standing in front of me". People are walking fast, a walking pace that, hopefully, will never stick with me. I don't need it, instead, I look into her chocolate eyes. She's looking at me, delighted because she brought me to see a movie at a theater, when we could've watched it at home… the things we do for the people we like.

"Walk me home?" she asks. I know home isn't far away; mine on the other hand, will take me a while to get to. But it's fine, I'll ask Mike to meet me at the bus stop and, it really isn't that late. So we walk to her apartment, she was smart, she moved right after her freshman year. It takes her some time to get to certain NYU buildings, but she's closer to her first love, Broadway. We walk to her apartment, chatting about life; I tell her a little bit more about growing up as a Fabray: the expectations, the comparisons with my older sister and all those things that made me close off a little bit to the world. She seems to understand.

"Do you want to go upstairs? Maybe have some tea?", she asks playfully and I want to, literally, jump on top of her. But I contain myself .

"I think I should start heading back home. I still have a few things to go over before going to bed", I reply.

"Well…", she takes a step closer to me and holds me, "thank you for an amazing day", she whispers in my ear not letting go. I don't want to break this, but I have to. I need to. When I am a few inches away from Rachel's face I close my eyes. If something will happen, she has to start it, God knows it's only fair. And she does, I feel a warm breath closer to me, I feel lingering lips on top of mine, I feel them. I respond the kiss. It's sweet and slow. I feel her hands on my neck and I put my hands on her waist. I don't hear anything around me or feel when it starts drizzling. When we finally break the kiss, we hold hands and look at each other. Next thing I know, I am letting go of her, I am taking a step back and just as I am about to run away, I hear her saying, very firmly; "Don't walk away from me, Fabray". So I stop.

"Quinn, look at me. I know I don't make any sense right now, but this kiss was the best kiss I've ever had. And I feel too many things for you, and I know you have feelings for me. So please, don't run away"

I look at her. I know it's true, I want to stay but at the same time I am scared. It's like what Mike asked me the other day, was I scared because it might never happen or because it actually could? I feel her hand on my hand and I decide to turn around.

"Ok", I tell her. Then she firmly takes my hand and leads me into her apartment.

Her apartment is two-bedroom place, but I barely get to see the living room, or anything, she quickly drags me to her room.

"I know there are many things we should talk about", she starts saying while sitting on her bed, "but I was wondering if we could just… sleep tonight and figure things out tomorrow"

I think for a second, but what use would that be? If I was a rational being, if I was the person my family once raised me to be, the least thing I'd be doing right now would be yelling at her for playing with my emotions. But I'm not like that and I do want to share that bed with her.

"Ok", I reply. She gets me something to change into and points me to the bathroom. When I return she's already wearing some really short shorts and a cute tank top. She props herself into bed and I follow. She plays some music while we cuddle.

"I promise we'll talk", she tells me.

"I know", and I just cuddle with her. I cuddle because this is exactly what I want. Even if it's just for now, for one night, for a month. I want to feel alive and loved. And love someone. So we kiss some more and then fall asleep.

I open my eyes at 7 am and she's not there. If I leave now I can make it to class, but this thought is quickly abandoned when I see her walking into the room with coffee and bagels.

"I know you probably have to leave now… but I was wondering, if you're up for it, we could hang out and talk about us", she says hesitating, I've never seen her like this before and it makes me smile because it lets me know she cares.

"I want to stay", so I just sit on her bed and take one of the cups.

"First, let me apologize for being so confusing. It wasn't fair for you, it isn't. But I never had feelings for a girl before. My biggest love was my boyfriend and that was a year ago. Truth is, I never felt with him what I feel when I am with you. It's like the other day when we were hanging out at the movies, having dinner, talking about stuff. You make me laugh, but more than that, you make me feel something", she says placing her empty hand on her chest. "At first I didn't know what it was, I just figured I had some kind of girl crush on you, I thought it was admiration, something platonic. But it wouldn't fade away. And it was about that time when Tay and Leo brought that to my attention. I didn't want to make a big deal, because, I don't like girls, you know? I never did. So I wasn't sure on how to deal with that. I talked to my parents a little bit about it and they were just saying how happy I looked over the holiday's just texting you"

I listen to her, going though her story. It seems she was as confused as I was and just as scared. I know she never meant to play with my feelings, but then we get to the end of her story.

"So after what happened in front of Santana, I just knew I had to do something. I couldn't just let it slip away or be a coward", she stops for a while and takes a deep breath. I smile at her. "So, what do you think?"

"I like you", I tell her. She laughs,

"You need to be a little more specific, Quinn". So I hold her hand.

"You knew I liked you and that I really wanted to respect you asking me to be just friends. So that's why I was so surprised when we kissed last night. And I am still confused"

"Why?"

"Are you sure you're up for this?", I motion the space in between us.

"I always have, just took me sometime to admit it"

I don't go to my morning classes. We spend the morning in her room talking and kissing. We even try to see a movie, but there's no point because we're not really paying attention. After lunch, we decide we do need to be good students and go to class. So I leave her, at the entrance of her building, smiling like a fool. And it feels good.

We text each other all afternoon and then Thursday. I think I might be falling a little too fast, and hard. But that's OK, even my roommate tells me I look happy and we don't really spend much time in the same room.

I agree to meet Rach, Mike and Leo at a restaurant nearby central campus; he's bringing a date and wants to go out later that night. Rachel says she'll go but only for a little while because she wants to be ready for a little showcase they're setting up on Saturday. They have finally invited a much selected group of people and will perform their music for us, so we can give them our feedback. I will also be listening to the first version of my short story turned into a song. She says she wants to know what I think about it, so they can take it from there and it kind of makes me nervous. Then there's also the fact that I am spending the night at her apartment. I know nothing will really happen, there's some stuff we still have to address and I just know that the perfect time will come. Naturally. But of course it makes me feel nervous and giddy.

I meet Mike at my dorm and we walk together to the restaurant. Leo is already there, having a drink with his date. Rach texts me and tells me to go ahead with Mike, so weird of her being late.

"Hey guys!", Leo greets us from the little bar.

"Hi", I say hugging the boy. His date stands up.

"Guys, this is Marie, Marie this is Quinn and Mike. They are good friends with the band, really great people. And well, actually, one of these two is more than friends with someone within the band"

"Oh, it's good to meet you Quinn. I've only known Leo and the band for a couple of weeks, but Rachel was always talking about you. So it's good to know that you are finally together"

"Thanks", I say. I look at Mike who just shrugs. Leo and Marie walk to our table and I stay back with Mike.

"What did she mean with that finally?"

"What everyone's been telling you and her"

"Really?"

"Of course, Tay and I were playing on his Xbox the other day and he told me he was happy Rachel finally got over herself and accepted she had feelings for you. But I am sure he'll tell you more about it, just know everyone knew you two had something going on, except for you two that is"

We order some ice tea while we wait for Rachel and take some time to get to know Marie, she's actually very nice and seems to like Leo quite a bit.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn around and see Rach standing there, holding some flowers. She gives them to me and I hold her and we kiss.

"Come on, Rach, you're gonna make me look bad", Leo scolds her. Marie is laughing and Mike is about to snatch a picture so he can send it to Santana.

"Is this why you were late?", I ask her while she sits next to me.

"Yes… it was supposed to be ready an hour ago. But you know people, and agh"

"It's cute when you pout", I tell her holding her hand.

"I hope you still think it's cute when she pouts to make you do whatever she wants", Leo warns me.

"I think I already do", I reply arching an eyebrow. She laughs, but she knows it's true and I don't mind.

That night, after a few hours hanging out at some lounge Marie likes, Rachel and I head home - not before the boys make a big deal about it. We try to tell them nothing's going to happen but they're not listening – we have some tea before going to bed. So I take this opportunity to discuss some stuff.

"So", I start. She looks at me. "I wanted to ask you something"

"Yes?"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure… what I mean is, though I have no doubt of how you feel about me, I want to know if you think this is"

"Do you want to know if I'm not just confused?"

"Maybe"

"Is that what you're asking?"

"Probably"

"I'm not upset, if that's what you're thinking. I guess it's kind of normal. It's not like I've been making out with girls… well, ever. So I guess I know where you're coming from. Though I don't like having my feelings questioned, I will have you know Quinn that this is something new for me, and yes, it's scary and yes I am very unsure on how to act or what to do, but when I look at you, when I talk to you, I just feel it, I just know in my heart what to do and say, I want to be with you and explore this new… whatever it is. This. With you"

I remain speechless.

"Is that enough for you?", she asks.

"More than enough" I reply and I kiss her. Because I can.

Just like that days go by, there are plenty of more rehearsals and I am always there. They also start performing live at the usual places, the ones where they started except that this time they're playing their own music, and doing actually very well. Rachel and I have a lot of fun together, but she's also being very supportive of my apartment hunt (she practically drags me and Mike to see a few apartments every two weeks) and helps me check my applications. I am not sending too many, but I am strongly working on each. In return I cook for her and she kisses me, we cuddle quite a lot and Santana's kind of sick of my texts saying how wonderful every day is. Truth is, they are. On the physical arena, Rachel and I are moving slowly but surely. Very surely, which makes me happy.

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Thank you for reading, please review?


	10. Chapter 10

**NA: First of all, I owe a big apology to y'all for going MIA on everyone. Didn't mean to, but a lot of good stuff happened during the past few months and sitting down in front of a computer for over half an hour wasn't an option. Plus, I didn't even have my laptop with me. But I do apologize for disappearing.**

Now, back to business. I realize that this is not the happiest piece of writing ever, I usually don't like too much drama/angst BUT these things do happen and people manage to get through them and, most important, learn from it all. I think we have 4 more chapters (tops) lined up before this particular story comes to an end. I will finish the story for me and for whoever is still reading or wants to read the story, regardless of numbers and silly stuff.

Thank y'all for reading.

* * *

**Chapter 10. **

February is over before I know it. I feel different, people notice. My teachers tell me I am – my writing seems freer; my mother is dying to meet Rachel and is jealous of Fanny and Dave, whom are visiting us in a few weeks. Life's better when you're in love… On a different note, Santana won´t stop talking about her upcoming birthday party; she´s been watching way too much How I Met your Mother, because the only adjective she is capable of using to describe her party is "legen-wait for it – dary". Good god. Rachel finds this excitement amusing and has been helping San plan the whole thing. A few friends from Chicago are flying with her for the celebration; Brit says she might pop in. I try not to consider the possibility. I love them both, but alcohol plus NY plus their emotions, that can't end well.

The party will take place at a local bar we all like, Rachel and the guys will be playing that night and San is singing with them, then we´re going to ND, the rooftop where it all started. Leo talked to Mr. Schuester, who was more than delighted to have a group of our friends at his club. "He said he wants to be nice to us, so when we are famous we will play at his venues for a better price", Leo explained and we all didn´t know if we should laugh or take it seriously.

* * *

I take Rach out on a date on Wednesday, she has a rehearsal with the band on Thursday, and then Friday is the big celebration, so I know we won't any alone time until Monday morning, and that's just too much. We go see a movie to a new small theater, to her dismay they're playing "Heavy Weights", which I find hilarious. As we enter the place, she starts complaining about the movie, my very own funny girl.

"I can't believe we're watching that", she says.

"What's not to like? It's a classic"

"A classic? Really? Barbra IS a classic. This is…"

"Is a funny movie, we're gonna laugh a little, eat popcorn and then have some tea at the place you like so much, then we'll go home"

"Mmm, and what are we going to do when we get home?"

"Well… I was thinking we could listen to Regina's new album, and then I could read you something I've been working on, I would love to know your opinion, and well, you know, there's always the possibility of some kissing and sexy times"

Rachel laughs and I blush, because it is something I think about but it's always a hard subject to tackle for me. We have discussed it in the past, agreed that we've been dating for a month and sex should be something that happens naturally. Funny thing, every time things are heating up, I am the one to retrieve.

"My god Quinn, you're such a romantic"

"I am just putting the offer out there"

"Oh, are you sure you're up for it?", she replies smiling standing two inches away from me, she knows I am shy when it comes to physical things.

"I am", I tell her looking at her in the eye, "I know I always pull away when we're about to… do something, but I think we're ready. And I don't mean something has to happen tonight, I mean, it should be more romantic, shouldn't it? But I just wanted you to know, I am ready whenever you're ready"

"Babe, I've been ready since… the day we kissed. I just knew you were kind of nervous, which you shouldn't be at all. And we don't need to have a room full of rose pedals to take this step. I just want you. If tonight's the night, then be it. If not, there will be a handful of other perfect nights, just like tonight"

"Maybe after we watch Pitch Perfect", I reply smirking. She softly slaps my arm and kisses me.

* * *

Finally Friday night is here, Santana, Mike and I have dinner with her Chicago friends. Rachel and the boys will be meeting us at the bar. Her friends are quite nice and I knew some of them from a few visits I did through the school year. It's just three of them, but they are enough. I mean, in order to be friends with Santana and be a Pol Sci major, there has to be something about you. And we all know it's not necessarily a good thing. I get a text from Rachel that makes me laugh.

Rachel: I miss you, get here already! But don't tell Santana I said that. I want her to enjoy and take her time… but I miss you!

Quinn: I miss you too baby, we'll be there soon

Santana peeks into my phone and starts laughing.

"What?", I ask hiding my phone into my purse

"You're so whipped"

"Oh, come on! I'm not"

There's a brief pause and we are looking into each other's eyes.

"Fine, I am, I'll admit it", I say blushing

"It's alright Q, I mean, you love her, she loves you and the world is round and I am sure you're having great sex"

"San!"

"What? Don't deny it, you have those googly eyes and have been smiling too much. I mean more so than before so…"

Pause again, I hate sex conversations.

"I know you're a real prude when it comes to these discussions, but hey, at least one of us is getting any. Is she any good?"

"The best", I reply looking away.

"Good, happy birthday to me!", she finishes taking a shot that her friends ordered.

"Are you guys talking about sex without me?", Mike practically yells from across the table.

Oh God.

* * *

We get to the bar a few minutes before the band starts playing, Rachel is waiting for us at the entrance. Ready to hand Santana her gift, who's by now just a little intoxicated.

"You shouldn´t have", says Santana snaring.

"I know, I know, but you´re my girlfriends best friend"

"Is that the only reason you have to give me a present? Berry, I am offended, you know I finally accepted your Facebook friend request. Don´t make me take that back"

"Santana…" I tell her, delighted at the fact that Rachel uses the word "girlfriend". One gets used to that quite easily. We never had an "official" talk about it, about being an item. But I wonder if people actually discuss that anymore. It´s like… well, I will do something really significant and amazing when (or if) I propose. But I shouldn´t be thinking so far ahead of me. All that matters is that she is with me and I am with her and she likes me and I like her and she tells the world, constantly, that she´s actually mine. I smile and see Santana sitting on a table with our friends, eagerly opening her present.

"Quinn… babe", Rachel is softly pulling my arm. "Where did you go?"

"Sorry", I reply smiling.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what goes on in that head of yours?"

"I'm just so happy… you know? With you and San, and our friends and you singing with the band"

"You're so weird, babe"

Rach kisses me and goes backstage with the guys, they should be on any minute now.

"So, I think a toast is in order", Mike starts, "to get you ready to go upstage in a few minutes"

"Oh, I think she's more than ready", Christina says. She's one of Santana's dearest friends. I kinda like her, she's cool and fierce but not aggressive and scary like the other two boys Santana hangs out with. They are just plain crazy. Smart, but crazy.

"Friends, raise your glass for this young lady, senior, on her way of becoming a prominent Law student any day now. 22, San, 22", Mike finishes. We all drink and I think I see Santana cry a little. I put my hand on her leg and she squeezes it. She's happy.

After a few more minutes the band starts playing, San's friends congratulate me for having such a talented girlfriend (and of course Santana takes the opportunity to say, "well, I'm sure she's not just talented on stage"). Eventually she joins the band to sing one of her favorite classics from high school, Valerie. She kills it just like she did years ago. Feels like forever.

* * *

I feel it's a good time to go get something to drink to the bar, shows over, people are drinking and celebrating, Santana is opening the gift the guys got for her, Marie shows up.

"I didn't know he was seeing someone", Santana tells me as Leo walks to meet her.

"Yeah, for about a month, just like Rach and I"

"No, _he_ is seeing someone, _you_ are staying at someone's apartment, and even I am staying there"

"Do you mind?"

"Hell no, I prefer sleeping in the couch at her place than sharing a bed with you. You snore"

"I don't"

"I have had discussions with Rachel about it. Ask her"

"Mike", I ask to my friend who is staring at the entrance door.

"Mike! We need to settle this and I don't see Berry anywhere", Santana yells.

"Guys, is that who I think it is?", Mike says in a quiet voice, I barely hear him. He seems stressed.

We both turn around to look at the door and my heart starts racing like crazy and my mouth gets all dry. 'Why?' I ask to whatever superior forces are out there.

"Don't tell me is that bitch", Santana says standing up

"Don't move. Maybe she won't see us", Mike tells her taking her by the arm. San sits again. She's probably a little too intoxicated not to follow orders and I am thankful for it.

"What is she doing here? She doesn't even like this type of places", I ask out loud.

"I don't know, but she has spotted us and is walking this way", he replies

"Where's Rach? Mike, don't let Joey see Rachel. I don't she's up to no…", but I can't finish my sentence, Joey is standing next to me.

"Quinn", she starts

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good… but not as good as you, I suppose, I hear you're dating someone new"

"I am". I tense my body; we haven't talked to each other in over 5 months. And the last time we talked it wasn't so pleasant, she wanted us to get back together and I was sure it wasn't a good idea. Then she decided she didn't need me in her life. It was a messy breakup and we didn't talk for about a month, then we talked again and for some reason I begged her to get back together. Agh. It was such a confusing time. Turns out she was already dating someone. She kinda cheated her new girlfriend with me just to dump us both a few days after. Then we didn't talk and when we finally talked she hated me for some reason I haven't figured out just yet and that was the last I heard of her.

"Good. Really"

"Thanks?"

"Look, I knew you'd be here. But I didn't come just for you, I mean, some friends are hanging out here. I know… so out of character of me. I know"

"You could say that"

"The last time we talked… well, it didn't go very well. I figured you'd be here tonight so I decided that maybe it's about time we clear the air. I am not saying be friends again, but at least…"

"Be civil to each other"

"Exactly, I still want to be able to call you or text you sometime, to see how you are and all"

"That'd be nice"

"Cool. I am gonna go meet my friends, but maybe we can chat some more before you guys leave. Or before I leave"

"Sure, I'll make sure to say goodbye or whatever"

"Good", she says smiling and briefly touches Quinn's hand.

I am still processing my recent encounter with my ex, when I feel a small hand in my hand.

"Hey", she says

"Hey", I say back, "I just experienced one of the weirdest moments in my life"

"So I see. Funny, for some reason I felt as if Mike was trying to hide me or something"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he was acting all suspicious and trying to make small talk. He is a bad actor, I am telling you"

"I'm sorry; I just wasn't sure how this was going to play out"

"I want to think that you did it to protect me, but she seemed like a perfectly nice girl"

"You don't know her"

"That's true. All I'm saying, is that I felt as if you were hiding something. I don't know, it just didn't feel OK"

"Baby, really, I thought she was going to go all crazy or something. But she didn't and now I guess she's cool and we can be civil around each other"

"Sounds good then"

* * *

Time does fly by when you're having fun. The next thing I know it's that is almost 2 am, the bar is about to close and Santana can't even stand up. Mike is trying to get her some water but I am thinking she won't be drinking it. Tay has already offered his place as our next stop in the madness and crazy show that Santana's birthday has turned into. My hits of the night; Brit didn't show up but called San, they had a major fight over the phone, Joey didn't go back to see me, which I think is for the best and Rach has been nothing but great all night long, though I know she's been drinking more than I have and is already drunk. But, unlike S, she's an adorable dork drunk.

We're paying the bill when Joey comes up to me.

"We are leaving now", she says and I notice how she grabs the chair's back to gain some stability. I laugh and she does too.

"It's been a while since I've been out this late… not to mention drinking. So don't make fun of me Fabray", she says.

"Oh, I'm not. And don't worry, I've got my own bunch to deal with", I tell her looking at Mike hugging Santana while Rachel fails miserably at holding them both. John is practically snoring on the table and Tay is helping Christina put her shoes back on. Fun times.

"Well… it was good seeing you and please know that, although this might not be the best moment for us to be friends, I do want to be around", she is saying while holding my hand. She is keeping appropriate distance and I don't sense any funny games going on. So I briefly squeeze her hand and smile.

"Yeah, we can give it a try", I reply. She is about to hug me when I feel a strong hand pulling me.

"Back off!", Rachel yells.

"Baby, calm down", I tell her

"No, I might be drunk, but I know exactly what is going on here"

"Rachel, I know I don't know you but let me explain"

"That's right, you don't know me, now walk away"

"Babe, you're overreacting", I try to tell Rach, but she won't hear

"No, no, I know exactly what is going on here and look if you want to…"

"I think I am gonna leave, I also had one too many drinks and this is too much for me", Joey says when one of her friends shows up at our table.

"Quinn, I can't believe you", Rachel is saying

"What on Earth are you talking about? She was apologizing and saying we should try to be civil around each other. Not even friends, Rach"

"Oh. But I saw her holding your hand, and what was that? She was gonna kiss you!"

"Babe, let's go home please. You're not making any sense right now"

Tay, Mike, San and her Chicago friends go to Tay's. Leo and Marie stay behind so we can put John in a cab and then make sure we get one for Rachel and I.

"What a night", Marie says.

"I'm sorry", I tell her

"No, I mean, these things happen. It was a fun night anyway"

"Yeah, well, let's just make sure Mr. Drunkie here gets on a cab and then we'll help you girls", Leo offers.

"Thanks, really", I reply

"No problem, these two are like family, so maybe I should be the one apologizing, but you have to understand: Rachel is in love. So her emotions are all over the place"

"But her reaction tonight, it's like she doesn't trust me or something"

"She does, she's just scared"

"She shouldn't be"

"I know, but you know how she is"

"I guess"

But do I really? I mean, I never gave her a reason not to trust me. Even with Joey around. But I am too tired to think about these things and am more than ready to just go home.

"Alright John", Leo says propping a very drunk John in the cab, "take it easy man, are you sure you can handle it? We can go home with ya, we're not really concerned about going to Tay's"

"I am fine", he grunts as a response, "and by the way blondie, "you don't deserve Rachel"

"What?", I ask, "John, just go home"

"Rachel, listen to me. You can do better than this girl. With all due respect Q, you're super nice and pretty, but come on. Rachel will end up going back to guys". Rachel is not saying anything, which doesn't really worry me because maybe she's done with crazy arguments.

"Are you kidding me? Just leave!"

"That's it man, sorry Marie, but I think we're taking this one home", he says while opening the front door for Marie, I think he mutters some kind of apology, but I just wave goodbye.

We get home and I put Rach in bed. I can't really go to sleep; I am seriously tired but equally upset. So I just pour myself some water, put my pajamas on and try to watch some bad late night TV.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Alright, thank y'all for the reviews, for reading and following the story. As we approach its end, there're still a few things that need to be discussed and a few characters that will shake things up a little. I think in a few days I will be posting a new chapter, I am really working hard on it, making sure all details are taken care of.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

I open my eyes again at 10:18 am. It says so on my phone. I think I slept for about 3 hours. Rach is still sleeping and I debate on what to do next. I know we'll have a long, long conversation about what happened last night, among others: Joey, John, jealousy, a messy history… oh, the past, still hunting me.

I have a few texts from San, Mike and Leo. Nothing from John or Joey, which is good. I quickly text Leo to let him know all is good and that I'll make sure to let him know if we're doing anything with Santana and her people through the day. Then I proceed to call Mike, I know calling Santana will be fun. I still need to update her on the John incident, so that phone call comes next.

"Hey, Mike", I say very coolly passing in the living room, trying to be quiet. Rach doesn't often get to sleep in.

"Hey, Blondie", he replies teasing, "what a night, huh?"

"You could say that"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I just… don't get Rachel, you know? She's supposed to trust me and to know that I wouldn't hurt her"

"I know, we know that. But Q, with all due respect, there's some cheating on your record history. And while we all know it was a mistake, and that you were hurting back then…"

"Yeah, but that's exactly it, it's the past. I learned. I let someone cheat on her girlfriend with me, but I was desperate Mike. I wanted _her_ back"

"You need to make sure Rachel gets that. And that you wouldn't do it again, at all"

"It was different, circumstances were different"

"I know, but for some people cheating, is cheating, regardless of the circumstances"

"I don't get it"

"You don't have to, but your girlfriend feels that way, just make sure she understands also your side of the story"

"I hate Joey"

"Speaking of the devil. Because of how last night ended, San and the Chicago crew spent the night at Tay's and while I understand she is not upset at all… call her. I mean, she already knew she'd be hangover on this beautiful Saturday morning, but I am sure she'll be fine this afternoon. And while I know you are dealing with serious marital issues…"

"Yeah, it's her birthday"

"Correct", he tells me.

"Can you believe we ended up not going to ND to celebrate?"

"Q, I think it was the only smart thing that happened last night. Leo called Schuester this morning and the guy didn't even remember that we were supposed to be there"

"Busy guy"

"Yeah, but the call turned out to be for the best, Schuester will be hosting a Battle of the Bands in about two months"

"Really?"

"Yes, so he says to be prepared"

"That's so amazing!"

"I know… now, don't you think you should be calling a certain Satan?"

"Yes, mom"

I peak into the room and see my little diva still asleep. Unbelievable what alcohol does to you. I'll bet that she's going to flip out when she realizes she slept past 10 am. Past 8 am, who am I kidding? I drabble a little note and post it next to her, I am going to go get breakfast while talking to Santana. Plus, I am sure there's going to be some yelling, so I need to prepare.

"Quinn", she says when she picks up the phone.

"Hi, San"

"I briefly remember the scene from last night, but my crew assures me that there was quite a bit of drama going on"

"Yeah, and then John also had a bit to play in last night's messy show"

"Oh, no"

"Oh, yes"

"Well, first things first, what's up with Rachel not trusting you and going all bananas when she saw you next to Joey"

"She knows about my history with Joey, she knows I helped her cheat"

"So?"

"So, I guess she thinks that a part of me it's still holding on to Joey, or something, you know? I was so desperate to get her back that I helped her cheat. I didn't even consider that until last night and Mike said that..."

"The Asian suggested that?"

"Well, he has a point, that I cheated at some point, that Joey had me bad"

"No, look Q… I'm not gonna take either side. I love you and she loves you and you love her, so whatever messed up thoughts are going on in that head of hers… just make sure she knows, that you're not that person anymore and that things can be easy and simple if you just let it"

"Wow, San, you are actually getting wiser with this aging thing"

"Don't mock me. But maybe I am"

"Thanks for everything"

"Yeah, yeah. Now tell me about this John thing"

"I can tell you about it later; I am sensing that this is more of an issue Rach will have to tackle by herself… you know? But we still have all day today and tomorrow to hang out, what do you guys wanna do?"

"We were thinking about being lazy for a little longer and then maybe around 2 or 3 going to the Highline, walk around, grab lunch at Chelsea Market. Just chill, grab a beer at this place in the Village, and we were wondering if we're still welcome at Rachel's, everyone's cool with staying at a hotel, although Tay has already offered us his place as well"

"I'm sure it's fine San. Text me when you guys are leaving to go to the Highline and we'll meet you there"

"Will do, love you Q"

"Love you too, San, happy birthday"

I go back to the apartment with coffee, juice, bagels, fruit, vitamin water, anything I could think might help Rachel feel better this morning. When I open the door she's there to help me carry everything, she looks like a giant mess, but still adorable.

"Hi", she says placing her share of stuff on the kitchen table.

"Hi", I reply handing her a cup of coffee and carefully placing everything else on the same table.

"So about last night…", she seems a bit unsure and then she explodes, "Quinn, I know your history with that woman, I know how much she hurt you in the past, not to mention you help her cheat and God!, you are willing to go back running to her without even thinking about it"

"Rach I wasn't running back to anyone"

"Quinn, you held her hand without even flinching, she was gonna kiss you"

"She wasn't and…"

"And I'm sorry. I know you told me about her and your story together because you trust me, but when I saw you two together I couldn't help to think about how you help her cheat on someone else"

"Really? Rach that's my past. Was that wrong? Yes, on so many levels. At that moment I couldn't see it, I was hurting, I wanted her back. I thought I needed her with me. It was silly and it was my first love and aren't people allowed to some craziness when they are dwelling over the lost of their big first love?"

"Yes, but… so you admit it was a big love, a love that's not easy to get over with"

"Yes, I admit it, I never said it wasn't big or that it didn't mark my life. But Rach, that's my past. I moved past it a while ago, before I even met you. I said no to her the last time we met, because what she once meant to me was gone, it was in my past. I was ready to move on, to be me. And it just so happen that a few months after, I met you."

She sits in one of the chairs, sipping her coffee. There are a few tears flowing, but if we're gonna talk about all these issues, then we're going to do it now and might as well get it all out in the air. I am dying to remind her about the John situation, but I know it would only make things worse. Plus, he is not a real issue, at least not to our relationship. I think.

"I know we all have insecurities", I say trying to wipe out some of her tears, but she doesn't let me and it hurts but I just take a sit across from her, taking a sip of my own coffee before speaking again.

"I know that love can be complicated, but we can make it easy and simple if we're honest with each other. That's why I told you everything about my relationship with Joey. But that's over, you're my present. You are with me, right here, right now. And I am hoping it will be like that for a long, long time. I messed up once, but don't punish me for it. I want to be OK with my past because I am the happiest person in my present, Rach. I am only able to make amends with that moment of my life because you had made me a complete and better person of myself, in this moment, and will be like that forever if you let me"

"I am sorry I yelled so much last night", now she reaches for my hand across the table and I take it, "it's just that I don't wanna loose you, but sometimes I forget that people can make mistakes but also they can redeem themselves and move past that"

I stand up and hold her.

"I need you to trust me"

"I trust you, I do"

"I won't see her or talk to her if you don't want me to"

"Baby steps, Quinn, baby steps. We'll deal with her later"

She stands up and kisses me on the cheek and then holds me. She sobs a little and I rub her back.

"We are going to get through this, babe", she tells me and I believe her. I know we will.

"So… about John"

"Oh, God", she says plopping on her sit and grabbing a bagel. "I got a bunch of texts and missed calls from him, but I just talked to Tay and Leo, we're having a band meeting this Monday. I mean, we all need a break"

"We all?"

"The band"

"Are you sure? Because Tay and Leo wanted to hang out with us today"

"Alright, so maybe there's just one of us with issues"

"I'm sorry, baby"

"Not your fault", she tells me grabbing my hand and feeding me some fruit, "maybe a little", she teases.

"You think? So you're not going back to guys?"

"Babe, I'm not going back to anything. I wanna be with you". And then she sits on my lap and kisses me. Then she comes to all her senses, I know that because she yells; "QUINN; PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT NOON". I know, very subtle. I alugh and she runs to the shower. I know this conversation isn't over, but at least we talked about it.

* * *

We meet the others at around 2 pm near the Highline, we all look pretty beat, but who wants to stay indoors when you have NYC waiting for you. I could actually stay indoors, but I know we'll have time for that later. We walk around for a while, is a pretty nice view and there are some street performances going on; since you're not supposed to do any kind of noise while on this place, the performers are using earplugs and I assume they're all listening to the same music while acting to it. It's actually pretty cool. Marie and Leo join us eventually.

The rest of the day goes on pretty much like that, very smooth and relaxing, we have dinner at a nice little place in Chelsea and then take the subway to a bar Christina wanted to check out. We don't talk much about the drama from last night, but they make sure Christina doesn't forget how she lost her shoes for a second or how Tay almost broke his foot while trying to impress Christina. Santana is laughing a lot and Rachel holds my hand firmly but tenderly and the whole thing makes me happy.

San and I offer to get drinks for everyone.

"So…", she starts, we haven't had the time to properly catch up on recent events.

"So", I reply arching an eyebrow.

"I take things are well from what I observed today"

"Yeah, we talked, I made her realize that, while I did make a mistake by letting someone 'use' me to cheating on her girlfriend, that it was long ago and it was a different time and circumstances were completely different"

"Alright, did you say anything about her going crazy?"

"Not exactly. I mean, she did apologize for all the yelling. But I also understand, you know? And we were pretty hammered last night"

"That's true. Now I guess all we have left is John. And hope that Joey stays away from you two"

"Yeah", I nod, but we both know that things are never that easy. Joey will come back to my life and I need to make sure I can be OK with my past while making sure my present is working just as well as it is today. And John, well, he will be Rach's responsibility and I can't do anything but be there for her. Although I would love to punch the guy in the face.

Sunday is here too soon. San and her friends are getting ready to go back to Chicago, is just another chili day in NYC, and while I dislike having my best friend leaving, I do enjoy having some free time to spend with Rachel.

* * *

A couple of weeks go by. I haven't heard back from any of the places I applied for internships this summer. Which is good just as it is bad. I haven't been officially rejected however, I haven't been accepted either. This is just kind of driving me crazy. At least Mike and I are about to seal the deal with an apartment close to our campus, but not so close that it'd be crazy expensive and of course, it's Rachel approved. Santana seems to be doing better, I know she's been on a couple of dates with some girls on campus and I am talking more to Brit now, which is also very nice. Mike and I have been extremely busy with exams and papers, but we always make some time to hang out with our friends. Obviously, Rach would be very upset if I were to miss a performance by the band. They have been talking to a guy who's friends with Schuester about recording an EP, but who knows how things work in 'this business' as Leo keeps calling it. I sure don't have a clue. The John issue is in the past now, though I haven't really seen him at any other social gatherings, except for the gigs the band's been playing, and I know he is avoiding me. I haven't said this out loud to any one but Mike, but I'd still punch John in the face. As far as I understand, they gave him some kind of warning, and I was very surprised to hear that it was Tay himself who proposed the idea. They are still waiting on news about the ND Battle of the Bands. On the Joey front, I haven't heard from her and I will not try to contact her either, some things are better left in the past I guess. Sometimes I think it's a shame I can't be friends with my ex, but I also know that sometimes that's the case. Rach and I discussed the subject once more and, though there wasn't any kind of yelling, I know she's not too happy about Joey being around, so her not contacting me is definitely a plus for me and my relationship.

"Babe", Rachel greets me at the entrance of my school building. I smile and hug her. She kisses me in the cheek.

"How's your day going?" I ask her holding her hand.

"Alright I guess. You know, just another Wednesday in the big city. I'm super tired, and we still have rehearsals tonight and then this kid in one of my classes is driving me nuts. I can't believe how incompetent he is"

"Rach… be nice, not everyone is as talented as you are"

"Then he shouldn't be on the program"

"That's not fair". She smiles and pulls me towards her. We kiss and I don't want to let go. But we have to if we want to make it to dinner. Yes, we are finally having dinner with Fannie and Dave. We agreed to meet at this fancy restaurant in Wall Street, where Dave's company's offices are located. They are staying at a hotel nearby. Maybe we'll sneak into Little Italy later for some desert.

When we get there, they are already waiting for us.

"Hi", I say, they stand up. "Dave, Fannie, this is Rachel, my girlfriend". Calling her my girlfriend never gets old. And I know she likes it too, especially when I do it in front of my family. After introductions are made, we take a sit and order something to drink. Rach decides to only get water, since she wants to be very present at our little dinner.

"So, Rach, I hear that you are a very accomplished performer", Fanny starts when the waiter leaves.

"I… well, thank you", replies my nervous girlfriend. It's so uncommon to see her like this.

"Yeah, Rach and her band are playing this Friday at a bar, it's actually quite a famous bar in the city and they play there fairly regular there, which is not a very easy thing to do"

"Oh, I'm sure", Dave says joining the conversation. "I know that here in New York people are very competitive and you gotta be the best of the best in order to get a shot in anything"

"Yes, it was really hard to even get an audition, but we've been playing there for over a year now. We started playing covers, you know, Pat Benatar and some show tunes with new arrangements. Then we started playing our own music"

"Wow, I would love to hear some of your music", Fanny tells her.

"Absolutely, if you guys are still around next Friday you should come to see us play"

"That'd be so much fun", Dave starts, "but I promised that we'd visit some family I have in Jersey, I know, don't judge" he warns us smiling. We can't help but laugh.

"I didn't know you had family in the shore…", I know, bad joke, "but hey, the band is going to get to record a demo real soon. I'll make sure you two get it"

"Yes!", Rachel practically yells.

The rest of the dinner goes pretty well, we talk about the soon to be born baby, school, the future and random details, such as life in high school for me and Frannie. That's always fun to remember, especially because neither Rach nor Dave were there to see the Fabray sisters rule the school. Dave insists on paying the bill when were done eating. I think we are all about to say our goodbyes, which is great because I desperately need to go get some sleep and cuddle with Rachel, but I sense that Frannie still has something else to say.

"Rach, Quinnie… before we leave I want to talk to you"

"We both do", Dave adds.

"I know – and I am sure Rachel also knows and understands, just like Dave – that being a Fabray kid is not the easiest thing in the world. I mean, our cousin Peter ran away when he was 7 and I think he was smart to do so". I smile looking nervously to Fannie's eyes, she is also unsure and I notice how Dave holds her hand.

"What I'm… what we want to tell you guys is that we know that being part of this family is not easy, it will never be, there will always be an aunt to disappoint, a father that doesn't fully understand who we are. Quinn, I know you think I have it easy, just like you, I went to a good school, got good grades, got the perfect partner to share my life with and now I am having our father's first grandchild. But it's hard living up to his expectations, and I stopped doing that years ago. I am only sorry I wasn't there for you when I should have and I am really happy mom's have turn around and is standing up more for herself and for us", she takes a deep breath and then continues saying, "so I know it's not gonna be a walk in the park being the first out gay Fabray – if you choose to be so, that is –, I know that you're proud of who you've become and who you are with, and we are just as proud. We want to be with you and we want to support you, if you decide to tell our family or if you don't. I guess, all I'm trying to say is that we love you and we want you both to be happy".

When she stops talking I notice I am shaking a little, Rachel is also holding my hand and tears are rolling down my face. Not too much, but I just didn't expect my older sister to be so open and loving and, when did she become this person?

"Thank you, Fannie. I love you guys and really, thank you for this", I reply grabbing my girlfriend's hand. I don't she will be able to use it for a while. "I wish we could spend more time together and all"

"Me too", she nods and then stands up walking to my side; I also stand up and hold my sister. She sobs a little on my shoulder and I hold her closer.

**Please R&R!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Hi everyone, thank you again for still being interested in this story. As I said before, I am not going anywhere and I will finish the story. The being said, as every other author here in this site, I apologize for not updating sooner, but life happened. As it seems to be the case, life has to happen and we need to be there to fully experience it. But it looks like I will be around my laptop for a few days, so expect the next chapter real soon. **

**Thank you again to all of you that take the time to read this little piece of my imagination!**

**Also, I apologize because this Chapter is super short, but I kinda needed it to be like that just for now!  
**

* * *

"I'm sleeping with the singer", I say laughing.

"Yes, I know. We all know", Mike replies entertained.

"How do you think it's going to be living with them? Because you know Rach will spend a lot of time at that new apartment, it's got a great location and you know, her girlfriend", Leo teases.

"I'm prepared. May be I'll get myself some earplugs and all. We still need to sign the lease, move in and decorate"

"And then I assume a party is in order?", asks Tay chugging what's left of his beer.

"Absolutely", I declare. "Should be an epic costume dance party"

"Yes!", Marie yells standing up, I don't think I've ever seen her so excited. "I love dressing up"

"Well, now we know who's going to be in charge of dressing the band", Rachel tells her.

"Do you guys know when the competition's gonna be?", Mike asks. We are dying to know when will Schuester release the invitation for the event.

"Looks like it's gonna take place sometime during the last part of May. He hasn't officially announced it, but my sources are pretty reliable so we are just waiting for the 'official' announcement"

"But we are already working as if the Battle would be tomorrow"

"Yeah, thank you Rach. We all love you", says Tay dramatically. "Come on, Mike, I need one more drink before going on stage"

"Well, you are gonna win, because you're super talented and have the best singer", I say

"Gah, Quinn", starts Leo, "you're already sleeping with her!" he says laughing and Rachel punches him on the arm. Then proceeds to kiss me and I stick my tongue at him. Mike comes back with two beers on his hands, one for me and one for him, because we're sort of exam and paper-writing-free.

"One more thing", Rachel announces and I give her a funny look. "Guys, Spring Break! Come on, we are college kids after all"

"Oh, right", Leo responds, "funny how I couldn't even remember that… "

John shows up to the table, beer on hand.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Spring break", I reply. I sense some tension in the air.

"Do any of you have plans? I mean, it is in 2 weeks from now", Mike asks trying to make conversation

"Well, my parents have a house in Montauk", Marie suggests shyly. "I know that they won't be using it anytime soon since they'll be on a 'honey moon' trip"

"That's so romantic", Rach squeals and I kiss her in the cheek.

"Yeah, so I have a set of keys, we could go hang out there", Marie continues.

"That'd be amazing!", Tay replies. We all get excited about spending a few days in that place. It's far from civilization, but not too far away that we'd be crazy by day 2. We can easily get there and these people are great.

"Yes, we can shop for some groceries, bring our instruments", John contributes smiling. Things get better at the table.

"And we could even work on something with you two", Taylor adds. Mike immediately jumps off his seat and starts dancing.

"It's all settled then, I'll call my parents through the week and let you know about the details", Marie claps excited.

The band gets called backstage and I say bye to Rachel. I love it when she smiles at me and winks. She looks really happy these days, seems that they are really picking up on writing music and lyrics and John hasn't being acting weird around her.

"So things seem to be going really well for the band", Mike starts saying, "I really think something could happen this summer, I mean, they have the Battle thing and I am sure someone will want to record a demo with them in no time"

"I know", I reply

"That's kind of scary, when things start falling into places. I mean, for a few months, when we started hanging out with them, I felt all over the place. But now I feel that we have a good sense of who they are… and they like us in return". I have the feeling he's not really expecting an answer; instead I just hold his arm and rest my head on his shoulder while the band begins with their set.

"Quinn", says a voice coming from behind us. And I know it's her, I just know. So I turn around, still sitting.

"Hey", I greet her kind of coldly.

"Do you mind if I sit for a few minutes? I know you'll want to watch the band". I nod and glance at the band, I know they noticed Joey sitting down, we are close to the stage and I know Rach likes to look at me from time to time when she's singing.

"What's up?", I ask nonchalantly as I feel Mike revolving next to me.

"I wanted to apologize, I guess, last time we talked things were far from smooth and I would like to really try to have a friendship with you"

"Yeah, I know, but you know Joey? Maybe right now it's not the best time"

"Is this because Rachel freaked out? I can talk to her or something"

"Right… no, look, it's not just that. I do believe in second chances and all. I think we all have the right to make mistakes. You made a lot of mistakes when you were with me and I want to believe you're coming from a good place now, offering me your friendship… but it can't happen right now"

"But why?", she asks nervously

"Because, I don't think this the right moment to do it. Rebuilding friendships, especially one like ours, really needs time, you know? And right now I am focusing all my attention in other things"

"Such as Rachel", she sounds upset now

"Not just her, I also have my own life. I have plans for the summer, a lease to sign, things that I need to do. And right now I want to focus on all these new things. I hope you understand that, because I do want to be able to talk to you again"

"Makes sense I guess. I still feel that you're only doing it because of Rachel, but I get it. I did hurt you a lot and you're with her now"

"Yes"

"Alright Q, you have my number now. Call me sometime", she says placing her hand on my cheek and I move back. I know body language and I'm not in the mood for games.

"Sure". And I see her walk away from us; I hope she won't stay at the bar, but who knows. I look at the stage and I see Rach acting normal, more like pretending because I know she's looking at me differently. Worried, maybe.

"That was something", Mike tells me.

"Did you hear the whole thing?"

"Yeah, sorry, but I wasn't really sure on what to do"

"No, it's cool, I would tell you anyway. What do you think?"

"What do I think? I think that, regardless of what we all think about Joey, at the end of the day it's about what you want, you know? Would you not talking to her will make Rachel happy? Probably, but does that make you happy?"

"Truth to be told, what I really want is to make Rach happy. It'd be nice to have Joey around, yes, but Rachel makes me happy so… maybe my friendship with Joey can wait"

"I think Rachel will also come around, things take time, that's all"

"You're so smart"

Twenty minutes later the band takes a ten minute break. I can only hope Rachel will be patient and will listen to me before getting upset. They all come sit at the table, except that they pretend to be distracted by doing something else, Leo and John talk to Marie and Mike and Tay go find the sound guy.

"I saw her", Rachel tells me calmly.

"I know, she wanted to apologize I think, you know, gave me again the speech about being friends again"

"That's nice", she tells me but I laugh a little.

"What's so funny?", Rach asks me.

"Nothing, I thought you might be upset"

"I am, but I am trying to be a bigger person"

"Well, I decided I don't want to work on rebuilding friendships right now. I want to think about school, moving, internships, my beautiful girlfriend and her amazing band, spring break in Montauk"

"Do you think you'll work on that friendship at some point?"

"Eventually, but I also want you to be comfortable. And I'm not in any rush", she smiles

"Thank you", and then kisses me. "Thank you for respecting my feelings"

"I love you, you know? And you have brought nothing but good things to my life. So I'll make amends with the past when the right time comes"

"Maybe you should write one of your little poems about this", John tells me

"Uh, eavesdrop much?", Rachel tells him

"Oh, everyone can hear. We're all just playing dumb back here, but we can hear you two just fine"

"Dude, leave them alone. This is non of your business", Leo tells him

"Oh, it is. Quinn, you're messing with my… my family, my band and I am very protective when it comes to family. If I were you…", but I see Tay walking back to the table and grabbing John by the arm. They are standing in front of each other and I think Taylor is about to hit John, but I also know he knows better.

"Bro, I told you, stop messing with them. This relationship", he says pointing at us, "is their business and we can only be there to support our girl. Now, you are one of my best friends, you are like a brother to me, you've been playing with us from the beginning, but this band and friendship is also about respect. So I am going to say this once more: get over it and move one. Respect Rachel and Quinn, respect the band. If you can't do it, then I suggest you walk away before I make you do so"

"But…", John is listening, trying to come up with something.

"No, one more bro and you're gone. As much as it would suck"

The band is called backstage once more and Taylor asks one of the musicians in the venue to take John's spot for the rest of the show. I want to talk to them, but I know it's not the right moment.

* * *

**Alright, well, let's see what happens with John, the Battle of the Bands and Montauk! Oh, and people that love coming back, of course.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Again, I am really sorry for not posting before. I was away for a few days and then writing each Chapter really takes some time. Now, this is Chapter 13 and there'll be at least 3 more chapters where everything and anything will happen. Hopefully you all will find something in this Chapter that you'll like. I promise to finish the story, no worries.**

* * *

The two weeks before Spring Break fly by. I had three interviews in the process and I should be hearing back from them soon but I feel that I nailed them; of course I don't want to jinx it so I try not to talk about it. Rachel cooks dinner for me after each other the three interviews and realize I've been staying over at her apartment, so often that even my roommate called me the other day to check on me. I am also a little bit surprised of how little work I've done for the paper, but in all seriousness, I probably wouldn't have noticed hadn't it been for a subtle note left by my editor on my desk the day before Spring Break began.

"Seriously Fabray, step up". So I go over to his desk to have a word.

"Arthur, ever since I was a Freshman I've been devoted to this paper. I've done really good stories; I always deliver my notes on time and have the best sources on campus"

"That used to be right, Quinn"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you were one of our best members and I was confident you'd be in the editorial committee next year, as a senior. But now, look, you started the year very strong, but now I'm not so sure about how committed you are to our task here. And I get it, I mean, you obviously have a life outside of this room, and while that is really healthy, I think we both know you need to bring you're A-Game again if you still want that spot next year"

"Of course I do, I need those qualifications for my applications"

"Well, then you know what to do. Balance personal life, school work and the paper, I'm sorry, but someone needed to explain that to you. Please don't screw up. Now, I have to go yell at some Freshman for not being as talented as you are, see? You could be doing that for me"

* * *

That night I go over to Rachel's because that's where I am pretty much living and the location where Marie and Leo are picking us up to go to Montauk. Mike will be there as well.

"I need to talk to you about something", I tell Rachel as soon as I enter the apartment. She is reading something on the couch and I sit next to her. She looks at me confused.

"I think… I need to spend some more time in my dorm"

"OK", she tells me, I know I need to explain myself better.

"I love you, but I think that as of lately, I've let everything become about you and that's not your fault at all. I mean, you've been there to help me and Mike with the apartment and my internships, but I've done barely nothing for the newspaper and I know I haven't been studying as much as I could for school and this my choice. I guess I just hadn't realized about it"

"I'm sorry", she tells me taking my right hand in between hers.

"Don't be. I just need to be better at this whole balancing things and being a girlfriend and a student and a journalist". She kisses me and then tells me "You're the best at each of those things, and I am here for you"

And with that, if I ever had any doubts, I feel like the luckiest person on the world.

"So who's picking up Santana?", she asks

"I think Tay; and then I hear John's not going?"

"I know"

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah. I think he's fine. This time apart should be good. I mean, would I like him to be there so we could practice? Absolutely, but hey, I will use you as guitarist and Mike can help too"

"Riiiight"

"Hey!", she yells and proceeds to tickle me.

* * *

The following morning, Leo, Marie and Mike are punctually picking us up.

"Ready for some Montauk?", Marie asks excited. I laugh because I don't recall seen her this happy about anything except for the day we talked about dress up parties for Mike's and I's future apartment. She's talking about all the things we could do, go hiking, horseback riding, have picnics, go on tours to check out the seals and spend the rainy days inside, watching movies and playing videogames. Now I know why Leo is dating her, she shares his insane affliction for gaming.

"Better be ready, Tay and I are already on our way to MTK", I read out loud a text from San.

"Oh, so she's actually going?", Mike asks.

"Come on! You're dying to see her", Rach teases him.

"Well, of course, but what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't pretend not to like her?"

"Babe, aren't you going to give them the good news?", Marie asks Leo

"I don't know, I was kinda hoping to get them a little wee drunk and then tell them and see what happens"

"No offense, but I don't think they would be very nice drunks with those news. And…"

"Hey, we're super nice drunks. Except for Santana, but you guys invited her", Mike defends himself.

"I know, I know. Well, Rach, Quinn, Mike, don't tell Tay that I told you before, but I actually can't wait anymore… and I guess I'll have to call John after this"

"God, just tell us already!", Rachel demands.

"I got an email last night. From Schuester"

"The date!", Rachel guesses, she looks a little but possessed, she's leaning forward and he hands are on Leo's shoulders.

"Yes", he says taking one of her hands, "it's May 1st"

"Oh, there's a date. A date. Our dreams will come true next May 1st"

"I know!", Leo yells smiling.

"Make John come over, we need to practice"

"But Rach, it's only a few days and then we'll be back in the city, we'll have 5 weeks to practice and we're doing just fine"

"Alright, alright", she replies sitting back on her sit. We all know she's not convinced.

Montauk is fun. We go on a hike during the first day, Marie's gardener is kind enough to take us to one of his favorite trails and the guys pick up few more for the next day, though our guide assures us that we might not get the chance to go on them, "looks like it's gonna be quite a rainy week around here", Rach tries to argue with him but he is not having it. "Look young lady, I know you youngsters think your Internet knows it all, but it doesn't. So hear me out and prepare for a few days of rain, gotcha?" We all nod and decide to send Santana and Tay for some more groceries, just in case.

* * *

"I can't believe we spent 3 out of 4 days indoors", Santana starts saying. This time we are driving her back to the airport with Leo and Marie.

"I am sorry, guys", Marie says to anyone in particular.

"It's not your fault at all", I tell her. "I mean, we had fun anyway, you made us sing", I explain squeezing Rachel's leg, "you guys wrote some music, we had some wine. I don't know why you're complaining S, you looked like you were having a blast helping them record"

"Maybe, but what kind of Santana would I be if I didn't complain a little?"

"You're crazy", I simply tell her.

* * *

I start spending more time in my dorm, it means that I barely get to see Rachel though the week. But they are busy rehearsing and that gives me more time to work on better pieces for the paper. Things seem to be going well anyway, Rachel has been nothing but understanding and I am actually somewhat relaxed. I am in the middle of a study hall when I receive a few phone calls from my mother and then a text from Fannie, something must be going on so I call her.

"What's up, Fannie? I was in class"

"Sorry Q… but, look Dad's in the hospital". I freeze. What are you supposed to do when you get a phone call like this? I don't think TV or the movies or books or life have prepared me for this moment.

"What happened?"

"Looks like he had a heart attack. We… I just got here, mom didn't want to disturb you but the doctors…"

"I'm going, I am flying to Lima tonight". I tell her, I don't even cry, Fabrays don't cry, they react when tragedy strike.

"Please take it easy, I can just update you. We don't know much just yet"

"I can't just stay here. I prefer to be there and hear it's nothing instead of being here wondering what happened"

"Fine. But please, take things easy, just… breath"

"You too, I will see you all tonight"

I know that it's probably nothing major, although I don't know how a heart attack can't be major. But I guess I am trying to assure myself that these things happen and that he will be OK regardless. I need to believe that. I quickly type a text to Mike to see if he can meet me in my dorm, I call Rachel immediately.

"Hey, babe", she greets me and it makes me smile.

"I…", I start crying now. I can't believe my daddy's in the hospital and they don't know what's wrong.

"Quinn? Talk to me"

"My dad…"

"Where are you?"

"On my way to my dorm, I need to go to Lime tonight", I reply brushing some tears away.

"I'll be there in 15 and take you to the airport"

"You don't have to"

"Stop talking Fabray, I'll be there"

When I make it to my dorm Mike is already waiting, I break down the news to him and he holds me. We go into my room and he sits in my bed while I pack something for the weekend. Thank god it's Thursday so I won't be missing much at school, though it means I won't be here for Rachel's gig on Saturday.

"Promise me you'll go to the thing on Saturday"

"Of course, I'll be broadcasting the whole gig just for you"

"Thanks"

"Are you alright, Q? You seem oddly composed"

"I already cried on the phone with Rachel. And I have the feeling there'll be a few more tears once she gets here. But also… I think I haven't really processed the whole thing with my father being in the hospital"

"Yeah. I don't know what to say to you. But I think it'll be fine, it's like you said, they have it under control, he'll just have to be more careful"

"Yeah"

And then Rach appears, she runs to me and hugs me.

"What did they say?"

"We don't know much at the moment, but I hope to know more once I get to Lima"

"Call me and I am taking you to the airport, did you get a ticket?"

"Yeah, Santana got it for me with her miles"

"Finally she did something nice", Mike teases and I smile.

Rachel drops me off at the airport and makes me promise that I will keep her updated on everything. I am a hopeful about my Dad's recovery. I know Fanny was shocked but I also know that it was far too soon to say anything. I call her at the airport and she tells me that there hasn't been much progress with Dad, he is still unconscious but seems to be normal in some cases for that to happen. So I hop on the airplane to Lima, hoping for the best while my beautiful girlfriend says goodbye.

* * *

I get to Lima around 9 pm. The hospital is fairly quiet and I run to my dad's room where mom and Fanny are waiting. Dave is out getting some things for them, food and what not. I run to my mother's arms as soon as I see her.

"Mom", I tell her and start crying. I feel Fanny's arms around us. We are all crying.

"What's going on?", I ask them

"We didn't want to say anything to you over the phone. But dad's in a coma… and the doctors had to tube him, he isn't breathing on his own. He is stable now. They need to asses how's his brain is, I…"

"So do we know when's he waking up?"

"No"

"But he is going to, right?", I look at mom, imploring her to say yes.

"I…, we don't know Q", Fannie tells me and I sit on a chair in the waiting room.

"You should know, you've been here all day. Fannie, when he wakes up he's gonna be alright, right? He'll just have to have to eat properly, exercise"

"I wish it was just like that baby sister", she replies sitting next to me. I feel like none of us really has process this day, what has happened. How our lives might have changed already. I check my phone and see lost phone calls from Rachel, Mike, Santana, Taylor and Leo. I can't talk to either right now, not even Rachel. Especially her, she will try to make it right and I am far too confused to talk to her. I type a text to Mike asking him to tell everyone I am fine and will talk to them later. He doesn't reply but I know he gets it.

A few hours later the Doctor shows up, he's checking up on dad.

"When is he waking up?", I ask him when he walks into the waiting room. We are all standing up next to him, even Dave.

"We don't know. We still need to run some tests, perform exams. It is a severe situation, he was in a coma when the ambulance showed up. Miss Fabray, if you all could please listen to me. I know this is a hard time for the family and I need to ask you all to be patient and have faith. We are doing our best to make sure Mr. Fabray recovers from this is as best as possible, we want to keep him around for a long, long time. Please, go get some sleep, there's not much you can do tonight, be assured we are here for your dad and husband"

"I am staying", I reply.

"Q, maybe you and mom can go home and Dave…"

"No!" I yell and even I am surprised by my reaction. But I can't believe she's suggesting I would just go home and sleep at home while my father is lying on a hospital bed.

"Miss Fabray", but I cut his words as well. "Doctor, with all due respect, I am sure you are very knowledgeable about this situation but I will stay here, waiting until you have better answers for me". He looks at me calmly, I am sure I haven't been the first person he's seen like this.

"You are more than welcomed to stay, please call me if I can do anything for you. I will be back in the morning to check on mister Fabray and see what the results say. In the mean time, our staff of nurses and on call Doctors are here. I live only 5 minutes away, so know that I am close"

I sit down again when he leaves the room, I rest my head on my palms. Fanny tries to hold me but I push her away.

"I can't believe he's doing this to us"

"What do you mean?", my mom asks.

"How can be sick when things we're getting better? When we we're finally able to have a good time as a family, have decent Thanksgivings and be ok around each other?"

"It's not like… he'll be fine, Q"

"I don't know" I reply, and start sobbing, still my head hidden between my hands. "I don't know if he'll be there when I graduate. That's not fair!", I yell this last part and cry, my fists hit the chair I am sitting on and no one dares to say anything.

The next day we find out that Dad's brain is swollen due to the lack of oxygen, his heart is weak. They need to keep him in the coma so they can help his brain relax. None of this sounded like good news and I kept on getting angrier and angrier. How was it possible that they couldn't do anything else? Run tests, help him breathe, hope for the best and see when his brain would recover from swallowing. What was all this? They need to keep him in a coma so he can breathe and recover. Where's my dad?

We spend the whole weekend next to him and I don't check on my phone at all.

* * *

On Sunday afternoon mom comes up to me.

"I got you a ticket to go back to NY", she tells me and grabs my hands. "I know you're gonna fight me on this but listen to me Quinn. There's nothing you can do here. I know seeing dad in that bed is awful and I know you'll be thinking about him and us. I know you're angry, you've been too quiet. You only yell when the doctor's here because he can't give you the answer you need or want. I know you want to be here but this is hurting you too much. And I need you to be OK. It was really hard for you to feel OK after high school and I need you to stay positive. Go back to school and think about your projects and work. Dad would want you to do that. I am going to be here and I am sending Dave back home to work soon as well. Dad is going to be OK and I will call you if anything, good or bad, happens. And I'll keep you updated on what the Doctors are saying but Quinn, you need to leave this room".

I want to fight her, she's right. I am so angry and confused. Just yesterday they let me see dad and he was just a sleeping body, not even my father, strong and always so put together, what I saw was just a body that couldn't even breathe on its own. I hold my mother and cry on her shoulder, she just holds me for as long as I need. Then I see Fanny and Dave standing with my bag. He's driving me. I know he'll be going home later.

I go back home but don't tell anyone. I haven't checked my phone at all, I really don't want to see or talk to any of the people that make me happy. I don't want to be happy right now. I am angry. I don't understand how can they say he might not be back to being the person he was. I don't understand how his heart failed on him, how his brain shot down, how his organs are not responding the way they should.

* * *

My roommate is awake when I walk into the dorm.

"Quinn"

"I know Mike told you"

"Yeah and if…"

"Don't tell anyone I am back, I'll deal with that later. Please"

"You got it. Just promise me you will tell me if you need something"

"Sure"

I try to get some sleep after hanging up the phone with Fanny. I am also worried about her, she needs to stay healthy above all, but somehow I think she's calmer than I am.

* * *

After my classes I go back straight to my dorm. I don't have paper duty on Mondays and I don't feel like going to a study group so I'll stay in my room doing homework. I am avoiding Mike and Rachel and my cell phone and Facebook. But they seem to differ because when I get into the little living room we have in the dorm, they are sitting in the only two couches we own. My roommate is there but she just shrugs and leaves the dorm saying that she never told anyone anything.

"She really didn't say anything, Q", Mike starts. "But I figured you were back. And by figured I mean I called your mom, you can't disappear like that". Rachel remains silent, her eyes are puffy and I know that she's been crying. I feel awful, a part of me wants to go to her and just hold her and apologize until I make things right. But I don't move, I follow the other part of my brain that's telling me to just stay put.

"I am sorry. I just had too much to deal with. I still have so much going on in my head"

"We know", Rachel tells me. "We know, but you should know that we are here for you. Don't push us away, don't shut down"

"I don't know how not to. I really don't know how to deal with things"

"Well, you need to try", she tells me decisively.

* * *

The next couple of weeks are pretty much the same, my mood hasn't improved at all and neither has my father's condition. He is still in that freaking coma with a bunch of Doctors that don't have any other answers for us except for tests and exams and more waiting time. They say his signs are more stable now and that his brain seems to be recovering, but he is still using a machine to breathe, that's still not him. So that's still not my father. They don't know if he's going to respond, so they have asked us to wait a little bit longer. What does that even mean? A little bit? I devote myself to writing for the paper; get a rejection letter from one of the internships and a phone call from another one, one more interview for this week. The others say they're still on the process, be patient. I am not patient these days. Rachel's been busy with the band, as they are really preparing for the competition. I decide not to sleep over at all and I know it hurts her; it hurts her because I am drifting away, because I am not really there at all. And people notice, Mike and Santana have tried to talk to me as well.

"Q", Santana calls me one night, "stop doing this"

"Doing what?"

"You know damn well what. I really have no idea what it must feel to have your father in the hospital but I do know that he wouldn't want you to be moping around things you have no control over. If there's anything I learned at the Fabray household is to make things happen, and when you can't then you take care of the things you do have control over. If you try to turn it into a zen and meaningful thing, I think what your father taught me was to do what I needed to do and not to worry too much about what you can't control"

"You sound like a mediocre self-help book"

"I am supposed to be the bitter one and you're supposed to be a Fabray, never giving up"

"Well, he gave up"

"He hasn't and what happened is not his fault. It's not yours either"

"I guess"

"You should know. Now, call that girlfriend of yours, make up, call your mother. Quinn, of course you are sad and worried, but don't push people away"

"Can't guarantee anything"

"Try"

We hang up the phone and I decide to go to Rachel's apartment that night, it's a Thursday and I know she won't be rehearsing that night. And I know I have been hiding and being weird. I will have some amends to do, but I really can't start thinking about it right now, all I can manage to do at the moment is see her and not talk about Russel and his well-being. Plus, Fanny texted me saying that they have news and to call her whenever I had the chance. I actually am tired of holding back and I know Rachel is there for me.

"Hi", I tell her when I ring the intercom at the main entrance.

"I should get you a key", she replies letting me in.

When I get to her door she's waiting for me. I guess she was waiting for me all along.

"I'm sorry", I tell her

"Don't be, just please. This is something you can't keep to yourself, you don't talk to anyone and it's too much Quinn"

"I'm trying"

"I know, come in. Let's make dinner"

"I'm really hungry"

"Have you've been eating at all?"

I don't reply

"I need to call my mom, she says they have news, but I wanted you to be there when I called"

"I am here", she says holding my hand. "Call", she gives me a reassuring smile though I know she's just as anxious as I am. I find my mother's number on my contacts and dial. Fanny picks up the phone.

"Hi, baby sis"

"Hey, where's mom?"

"Sleeping"

"Is she OK?"

"You know"

"I know". I do know.

"The Doctor wants to try and see if dad can breathe on his own. So this can be a huge thing, or…"

"So we're just basically unplugging him"

"Don't say it like that"

"But we are"

"If he doesn't respond, it's because he's no longer in there"

"But isn't it too soon?"

"It's been three weeks"

"Still"

"Yeah, well they've done what they could. His brain is showing activity, but his signals are still weak. They need to know better if there's still something to do, something to hope for"

"How can you say it just like that?"

"I'm not. Trust me. Look, why don't you talk to your professors and see if you can skip class for a few days? We need to talk to the doctor as a family"

"Yeah. I guess that makes sense"

"We'll talk and then decide, so maybe you won't have to be away for long. Just a couple of days"

"Sure".

We hang up the phone after a few minutes. I am very confused about my father's current condition. They want to see if he can breathe on his own, but from what I understand the odds are not in his favor and so it means he could just die. Or maybe he's already gone.

"I might be going back to Lima next week. For three days. I hope"

"Any news?", she says pulling me into her arms.

"They are thinking about removing the ventilator. They say it's time to try", my eyes are filled with tears and I fight them. There's a long pause and I really wish I didn't have to say what I say.

"There's a chance he won't make it". Rachel holds me closer.

"It's going to be fine Quinn"

"I might not make it to the Battle, but I promise to try"

"It's OK. I don't even have to be there, I'll come to Lima with you"

"Rach… I don't want you to miss out on that. It's huge for you guys"

"I don't want you to miss out on life either, but here we are".

"I'll be better this time. I think… I am not as angry. I don't know"

"I guess you do need that time with your family, just by yourself. But this time I will go to Lima if you don't call. I was nice last time, but I think next time I'll just listen to my inner voice and hop on an airplane"

I laugh and don't try to fight that. I will be flying to Lima on Saturday.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading, any comments are always welcomed.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Thank y'all out there that are still reading and following the story. I am sorry for the lack of Faberry lately and even more so for all the angst. I wasn't planning on going this way, but know that I have your back. Although I don't necessarily believe in happy endings, it seems to me that FF is a good place for them. We all need them every now and then.**

**Chapter 14.**

I get to Lima early in the morning and Dave's there to pick me up. We don't talk much though I know he's dying to say something. Something about dad or maybe he's heard about the phone call Mike did to my mother. Either way, I am thankful that he respects me not wanting to talk at the moment. I am thankful also that most of my professors were understanding of the situation and agreed to send me some lectures online and gave me an extended deadline for a few papers. Finals are close and I need to be at my best, in every aspect. To my surprise, Arthur was also very nice to me. Apparently he lost his mother recently and knows that, in fact, these situations are just plain scary.

I have planned to stay for the whole week with my family and then fly back to NY on Friday, right on time for the Battle of the Bands nonetheless. I am hoping that this whole ventilator thing will wait for a little longer, shouldn't we five dad more time? I don't really have enough information at the moment and feel my head is going to implode with all these feelings.

* * *

We go the hospital first, I want to see mom and Fanny and the doctor is meeting us anyway to discuss what the situation is.

When I get to Dad's room the doctor and my family are already waiting. The doctor greets me and I just shot a dare glare at him, although I know it's not his fault. Whatever is happening is no one's fault and I shouldn't be angry at anyone but I am. I feel as if there was some kind of dark shadow taking over me again, I want to shake my father and wake him up. I remember high school and how I felt when things at home were rough, how I used to act out. Now I am acting out again, except that this time I am making my friends and girlfriend pay.

"Mr. Fabray has been in a coma for almost 4 weeks now and we have been running different tests on him to see what the situation is. We have a very good idea now, and in order for us to make sure he'll make a full recovery; we need to make sure he's still here. We have different treatments that could be used for this purpose. Such treatments include surgery for this particular traumatic brain injury. Unfortunately, your father had blood pressure issues that he wasn't aware of. We think that if we take the ventilator off, he will be able to breathe on his own and once we know this, we can operate. Right now his brain developed what's commonly called blood clots, the major concern is that these clots will travel in the body and cause a pulmonary embolism which can be fatal. We need to insert pressure monitoring devices inside the brain, which will allow us to intervene when the pressure in the brain increases, so surgery is required minimizing brain damage and increasing the patients' chances of survival and recovery"

I barely follow everything he is saying, he has pamphlets and graphics and he's talking mostly to mom and Dave. I feel useless and I am sure Fanny shares the sentiment, we should be taking over but I am just thankful that Dave's here. And then it hits me that maybe I should let Rachel be here with me, but I can't ask that of her, actually I don't know if I will ever be really able to ask anything from anyone. I overhear the Doctor saying that there's a slight chance that my father will turn into a vegetable.

"So his brain will be death?" I ask, like out of a trance. The Doctor looks at me.

"It's not the same thing. And I think your father will recover, but I can't make any promises until we take off the ventilator and operate"

* * *

Mom and the Doctor agree to operate on Wednesday, giving us sometime to talk to some other family members and decide what to do in case things don't go as planned. There are some people in suits talking to mom and Dave. Again, thank you Dave. I call Rachel once before the operation, it's a Tuesday and I really can't explain much to her. She offers again to go see me, but I don't want her to, I tell her things will be fine though I don't even know really how things could be fine. I hate it, but slowly I am drifting off again and I know she senses that.

* * *

On Wednesday we all gather together before the Doctor goes into surgery, mom takes care of some paperwork and the Doctor is explaining once more what he's about to do and what we should expect. I expect nothing, really. Maybe to wake up from this nightmare. I have been cleverly ignoring my phone for the last 24 hours until Fanny mentions something.

"Quinn, Mike and Santana are on his way to the hospital"

"What?"

"Yeah, you actually have good friends that care about you although you've been trying to push them away"

"I don't want them here!" I hear myself yelling and some nurses turn around.

"Too bad"

"I don't need them here"

"You do, we all do. Quinn this is not easy, this is the type of situation that can break you for good and you need all the support you can get". I don't notice I am crying until she holds me. Mom comes back to the waiting room and lets us finish this moment.

"There's something else we need to tell you", Fanny starts.

"Please don't tell me Rachel is also here"

"Would it be so bad?"

"It's too much"

"Well, it's not that, but I wanna talk to you about it later". My mother remains silent. I guess she knows, but this is not the time for this talk. "I talked to mom last night. Dave is looking for a job in the area, maybe Cleveland or Belleville, Lima would be an option but I doubt he'll find anything here"

"Fanny will stay with me until Dave finds something", Mom explains.

"That's great I guess, but Dave? I thought you wanted to live in a bigger city", I said.

"I do, but right now the family needs us. Russel needs all the support he can get and truthfully, Fanny is all I need to be happy. I can find a good job around here, start my own business in the near future. There are many more things coming, Quinn"

"Quinn, life's not over and is not stopping. I need your father with me, but right now he needs me more and I will stay by him side no matter what. Having Fanny and Dave around will be really good for me, but I only let them do it because I know that this is something they also want for themselves, a place to start their own thing, start their own family, a place to settle down", her mom explains.

"Maybe I should consider moving closer to home as well", I am thinking out loud, my thoughts, just like my feelings, are everywhere.

"Don't be silly", mother replies. "You love the city and you're gonna make great things and come visit whenever. We all have a different path baby girl"

"I want my dad" I start sobbing and two new set of arms are around me. It's them, my friends.

We don't talk much through the day, but it is nice having them around. I see Mike texting back and forth and I am pretty sure he's talking to Rachel but I don't want to ask. We have dinner at a local place and they take me home so I can shower and get some sleep. Mom will be spending the night and then we'll all meet in the morning, before surgery.

* * *

"We're still waiting for him to wake up, his signs are stable but his brain is not recovering the way we expected. He's back to breathing through the ventilator and his brain is not showing any positive recovery", the doctor is saying. It's Thursday and Dad went into surgery the day before. But it took longer than the doctors had planned and they didn't let us see him, until today when they have more information about Dad's situation.

"So what should we do now?", mom's asking.

"Mr. Fabray went into a vegetative state and can recover. But it will take time, some test. But there's nothing we can actually do but wait, to see if he can recover on his own. We can help, you all can, but the hospital can't do anything else. I am sorry, but please know that there's a 50% chance of recovery through the next 6 months"

I start crying with Mike and Santana around me, mom is with Fanny and Dave. Some other relatives are around, talking to the Doctor and helping mom decide what to do next. When the doctor mentioned this as a possibility before I hoped that it would never be an option, I didn't see it as an actual outcome for my father's surgery. I know that most likely he will be sent home, with machines and medicines, maybe a nurse. Mom will be there taking care of him, and we'll have to wait and see if he'll ever wake up. But now I know that even if he does, he won't be the same man I once met. He won't be there when I graduate, he won't be able to see me land my first job, buy my first apartment; he won't be able to go on vacations with mom or visit me in NY. My father is gone.

Mom, Fanny and I go back home, Mike and Santana drive us because Mike stayed to fill out some paperwork. I've been silent all day.

"Quinn", mom starts, "you need to go back to New York, I won't let you stay here. Do you hear me? I need you to keep on going"

"I just lost my dad!". Mike and Santana shift uncomfortably in the front seat. Mike looks at me through the rear mirror. I shot him a glance. "I can't think about school or things… my dad's gone"

"Dad's not gone, Quinnie", Franny starts, "he is not himself anymore, but he's still here, he might recover, we don't know that"

"You all don't get it!", I am still yelling and sobbing, "he's gone, this is done"

"Quinn, I won't let you talk about the situation like this. It is unexpected and we're all sad and scared, but you need to remember that we're still a family. We are still here with you and you're not alone"

* * *

I don't do much the next few days. We are all still in Lima on Saturday, I decided to stay until Dad's settle into the recovery room we've assigned at home. Mom and Dave have been taking care of everything and I feel incredibly guilty. Shouldn't I be doing something more? I talked to the doctor on Friday, about what could I do to help my family. He says I should mostly try to stay positive and I just chuckled at the comment. He didn't even flinch; I guess he's seen it before. I make Santana and Mike promise not to say anything, especially since they insist on staying with me until Sunday at least. I have decided to stay at least until Tuesday, once Fanny is fully moved in with mom and they have hired the help required for Dad's situation.

* * *

On Saturday, Santana drives me to our favorite spot. She brings a few beers and I am thankful because she hasn't been on my case the past few days. Mike stays and I make him promise that he won't say anything. I only let him text Tay to wish them good luck and let them know we're all still in Lima and that things are ok. I know Mike isn't happy about, but "damn it it's my father and it's my family and if you can't respect that then you just might as well leave". He looks hurt but just nods and agrees to only shoot a quick text to Tay.

"So, when are you going to talk to Rachel?", Santana asks while sitting on the hood of the car.

"I don't know"

"Why are you pushing her away? Why are you pushing all of us away, Q?", she asks looking at me, I am angry but instead of flipping out I take a sip of the beer she's handing me.

"I don't know"

"Don't play that "I don't know" card on me. I have known you since High School, we've always been there for you, even when things got rough with your parents. But we made it through and you let us help"

"This is different, this time there's nothing anyone can do. Dad is a vegetable and I can't do anything"

"And you think you need to punish yourself and everyone around you?"

"That's not it"

"I just don't know what is going on anymore, everything's changing, my father is not him anymore, my mother will have to stay by his side, waiting for something to happen. Fanny and Dave are going to move to be closer, maybe I should be closer as well"

"You know what Judy said"

"I know! But you don't get it, sorry San. This time, words are not enough, friends are not enough and certainly a father who's not even in there anymore won't help. Life's too messed up and I don't feel like sharing that with everyone. They don't need to pity me, they don't need to know what's happening because they can't fix it. They can't fix me, so I might as well just stay away"

"You mean Rachel?"

"I mean everyone"

"Q, you're right. I can't help you, I can't fix you or this situation. But I can be there for you, I will be there when you need to scream and be angry at the world. I will be there and so will Mike and Rachel. But at some point you'll have to let us in, we can't fix you but we can help you hold it together. We can be there when you break apart and will help you put the pieces back together but that's gonna happen only if you let us. So let us in Q"

"I can't do that right now, San"

"I'll be waiting and so will Mike and Rachel, just remember that sometimes, some offers expire and not because people want to quit, but more because they also need to take care of themselves"

"I know"

We finish out beer and head back home. I think about everything Santana said, but right now I am having a hard time thinking what's actually important, all I know is that my family needs me right now.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, comment if you've got something. And know that we only have a few more chapters to go!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Thank you everyone for reading this story. It means a lot to me that there are always new people stopping by and checking out this labor of love, and readers that are still sticking around. I know I got sidetracked with all the angst and drama during the past few chapters, but I guess that's where the story took me? I am sorry if some of you weren't all too pleased about it, but well, we're moving on now! Either way, this is a Faberry story, that's for sure. **

* * *

On Sunday Mike and Santana head back home, each to their respective cities, not before trying to have one more talk with me. I refuse to have one of those all over again, but I know mom will succeed, no matter what she's going to try and have her point come across. And I know I need to listen. We're having dinner on Monday, Dave, Fanny, mom and I. The nurse that's taking care of dad has gone home for the day. She's nice and for some reason makes it easier for me to trust that he'll be OK, but I don't know if I can admit to that out loud just yet, how selfish would that make me sound?

"So, Quinnie, you're going back to New York tomorrow, right?", mom asks.

"Yes, I need to go back to finish classes and take all my exams"

"Good, and then you're staying there for an internship"

"No, actually I…"

"Quinnie", my mom makes a point to take my hand and look at me in the eye, "don't even think about coming back here for the summer. This is hard for everyone, but it's not like we haven't been dealing with this as a family. We are here for each other. You can come visit us whenever, you can call every day. Dad will be here, I will be here. Don't beat yourself up, talk to people. Have a life, your father sent you to the city for that reason; he wants you to be happy"

Mom's words are still sinking in my mind when I arrive to NY. Of course, Fanny couldn't let me go without reminding me what a great girl Rachel is and "don't screw that up", she warned me. I know they are all right, I don't want to beat myself up, I want to be happy just like dad wants me to, I don't want to screw things up with Rachel.

* * *

I call Mike from the airport to let him know I'm back, to let him know I'm better.

"Q! I was hoping you'd call"

"How are you?"

"Good. I'm actually at home, our future home. Remember that apartment we all liked? Well, looks like it'll be ours in two weeks. I took care of the paperwork, now we need to pay and all that fun stuff"

"Wow, thank you Mike. Maybe we can have dinner tonight? It's on me, as a way of saying thank you for dealing with that. I'm so happy that we got that one! Rachel will be excited"

"Speaking of, have you talked to her at all?"

"No. I don't know how to. I mean, I messed up and I'm still messed up"

"You did and we know you are, but she will understand"

"I need to figure out a few more things before really talking to her"

"Like what? I mean, she knows about your dad and she can help you deal with it"

"It's not just that. I considered the idea of moving back to Ohio"

"What? Q, now that's just crazy, not even Judy would approve"

"I know, I know. She won't let me"

"Quinn, you're my best friend and I hate seeing you throw it all away. Russell wouldn't approve either"

"Mike. Stop it. I will call you back when I get home for dinner"

"Fine, but just so you know, Rachel and the guys got second place in the Battle. Rachel wasn't performing at her best, but Tay says the band that got first place was actually really good and that they've been playing for a longer time, so maybe it wasn't just Rachel"

"I… thanks for letting me know". Shit, I think. I decide that the least think I can do right now is text her, I could call but maybe when I am actually in the city. I know I hurt her while she's been nothing but great to me. And second place in the contest, she must be upset.

"**Rach, I heard about the Battle. I'm sorry I wasn't there, but congrats on landing second place. I know it's not ideal, but hey! It's the first step towards greatness". **I hit send not expecting anything really. I need to get my stuff together before looking for her. I don't really know what I mean at all, but something inside me tells me I can't really afford to lose her, maybe it's Santana's voice, or Mike's, my sister's… or anyone sane, really. I can't lose her.

"**Thank you, Quinn. I hope things are going better back home"**

Wow, shortest text she has ever sent me. I feel bad but don't I deserve it?

"**I am sorry I have been so distant lately. I will make it up to you; just give me a few days to fix some things, please"**

She doesn't reply. I get home and there's nothing new on my phone. I know it's my own fault.

I meet Mike for dinner, just like I promised; I am trying to make things better.

"Seriously? Q, good God, you told her to give you a few more days?"

"What? I need some time"

"Are you sure you even want a girlfriend? 'Cos right now you're just being weird. Quinn, we all get how you feel about your dad, trust me. I feel as if my own father was ill right now. But… you have so much more to live for, and that's exactly what Russell tried to give you all along. He paid for you to come here, he's proud, don't waste it all"

"What do you know Mike?"

"I know many things, I know Rachel loves you, I know your family wants you to be OK, I know you're beating yourself too much over something you can't control. It's not your fault and no one will judge you if you are enjoying yourself"

That does it for me, because my two biggest fears at the moment are my father not being back to his old self and me having too much fun with my whole family back in Ohio dealing with something no one asked for. Maybe I can talk about the latter, but not about my dad not being himself anymore.

"Easier said than done", I reply chugging my glass of water.

"Try"

* * *

The next day I go see Arthur, as understanding as he can be (surprisingly), I need to go and pick up my new assignments for the paper before the summer's here. I need to get a couple of really good pieces published in order to secure my spot in the editing team for my senior year.

"Arthur", I say handing him a cup of coffee. Good coffee.

"Quinn, making up with everyone I see"

"I'm trying"

"You don't have to get me nice things, though I certainly appreciate the coffee. Here's your assignment for the week, I also thought you might enjoy writing an editorial piece for next week, you covered the student election at the beginning of the year and I know you got this thing down in spite of it all"

"I do and thank you"

"Sure… so, how are you holding up?" The question caught me off guard, I didn't know he'd care or know, I am little shock and maybe angry. I don't take pity.

"Hey", he starts saying, "it's OK. Look, I told you I get your situation. My mom died when I was a senior in high school. It might not be the same thing on the surface, but I know how you feel deep down. And if I can say anything to you, it'd say that I think it's great you're getting back on the horse, working, I also know that you're pretending that everything's fine and that you're completely ok with being here. Just keep in mind that you're also allowed to hurt. Not too much: if you don't want people to pity you, then don't pity yourself, but don't run away from feeling either. I know from experience, shutting down will mess you up. Now, I know you have plenty of friends, and according to Facebook you might be dating a super cute girl? Make sure you keep her by your side, you never know when everything's gonna get to you."

He makes a pause and I don't know what to say, probably nothing is fine.

"It's good to have you back, Fabray. Let me know how things go, yeah?" he finishes going back to his computer and I leave the room, speechless. I pull out my phone, there's one more thing I need to deal with before continuing with making up to people and actually moving forward with my life.

* * *

On Friday I go to a coffee shop nearby the university, I usually don't visit that place because it's one of Joey's favorites and when we broke up, well I clearly had no business there. But today was different, because I needed to make amends with the past and I had a few questions that only she would be able to answer. I know no one would approve, why do I need her? The truth is that I don't and that's exactly why I need to have one last chat with her, close this chapter of my life and end things on a positive note, because if there's anything I have learned lately is that it's OK to move on and keep going forward, but there's nothing wrong with being in peace with your past. I am lucky I got to have a better relationship with dad before the coma thing, now maybe I can be ok with Joey before putting our relationship in a box and pack that for good.

"Hi", she greets me when I walk in, she's already sitting and has a cup of coffee next to her.

"Hi" I reply sitting in front of her. The waitress spots me and I get a latte.

"So, what's up? You have been MIA for about a month, Fabray. I almost asked that girlfriend of yours about your whereabouts but then I figured that it might be better to stay away"

"Yeah, well something came up back home and I've been back and forth, I don't even know if I still have a girlfriend"

"What happened? Anything I can do?" she asks and behind the seriousness of her voice I sense real concern.

"Dad is in a coma, more like vegetative state now. Mom's dealing with it and Fanny and Dave moved closer to home so they can help mom". It hurts to say it out loud to someone who knows nothing about what happened during the last few weeks, but who knows me in spite of it all. It's also a nice feeling, to start talking about it.

"And… wow, I am sorry Quinn. And not sorry in the way you hate people to pity you, but in the way that wow, I know this must be hard"

"It's been hard. I even considered moving back home"

"And of course your people said no"

"My people?" I am curious to know what she means.

"Rachel, your mom, Mike, Santana"

"Yeah, they said no, but there's something inside me…"

"You're over thinking things, you're beating yourself up. Look Q, something's never change, right? Inside you, there's still the 18-year-old girl I met not too long ago. The one that wants everything to be perfect, to at least pretend everything is perfect, that nothing gets to her. When I saw you again, when you were with Rachel I noticed those walls were down, you looked different if it makes any sense. Partially it's because you grew up, as you should, and partially I know it was because of her, she loves you and you love her. That much is clear. I know that me going back into your life was suspicious at first, I mean I clearly didn't have good intentions. But when I saw what you had, I realized I wanted that with someone who wanted me"

I take a sip of my latte. I listen to what she's saying because this is a part of my life I need to let go and so does she.

"I know that it hurts that you dad is in that condition, especially since I remember you were just starting to have a better relationship with him. But he sent you here Q, he had your back and so does your mom and friends. We all do. Don't punish yourself, stop trying to put those walls up because sooner or later you're gonna realize they make no good to you and by then, you might have lost people on the way"

"I think I messed up already", I sob a little and she reaches for my hand over the table, squeezing just a little. I explain to her how I pushed everyone away.

"I think she will understand, as long as you explain things to her. You need to make a move Fabray, make sure she knows that you love her. You really need to go all the way, otherwise I would perfectly understand how she won't be able to trust you again, you know?"

"I know", I reply. I hear a loud sneeze by the door and I turn around and make out the shape of some familiar faces. Is that Marie and… Rachel? I stand up but they leave the place immediately, Leo is catching up sprinting from the bar to the exit. I am also walking towards the door, when he grabs my hand with his only free hand while juggling a tray with three coffees.

"Don't", he tells me.

"But this is nothing and I still need to talk to her, she's going to assume the worst"

"You can't blame her", he tells me coldly. I had never seen him so upset since John and his stupid drunkenness. I probably have been acting just the same.

"I know I can't, but I need to make things better. I was going through a lot and there's nothing wrong with having coffee with a friend"

"If you haven't called your girlfriend in over a week, then… just don't play dumb. Even if this is just friendly coffee, you haven't call and Q… I really like you, you're a great person and I really, really know you're going through a lot, but you're hurting her so much"

"I will make it better, please. Leo, we are friends, and I love Rachel. Please, give me a shot"

"We gave you one, before you went to Ohio"

"Things got worse when I went back there and I didn't know how to handle it. I am still trying but I know I need her, I know she can be strong for me now. Please, tell her"

"I… sure"

"Thanks. I will call her, yes? And I will make this work. I have to; I am not going to lose her"

"You better not Fabray" and he walks out of the place. Maybe there's still a chance for redemption.

* * *

That weekend I devote myself to packing stuff so I can move into the new house, and writing and studying. I get a call from mom, everything's the same. On Monday I get an email from one of my possible magazines for the internship, they need me to contact them.

"Hi, this is Quinn Fabray. I got an email from you"

"Yes, miss Fabray. We tried to contact you last week"

"I was unavailable, I apologize, family emergency"

"I am sorry to hear that, I hope things are well back home"

"They are" I lie, I am not about to tell a possible employer all about my dad.

"Good. Well, we've been trying to reach you because we'd like to have you working with us for the summer. As you know, we only offer three spots every summer and we'd like you very much to be part of the team for seven weeks"

"That's great! Thank you so much for the opportunity."

"Great. Now, my assistant will be emailing you the details next week and then there's some paperwork to go over and contracts to sign. She'll be taking care of all that. Welcome on board"

"Thank you again, I look forward to working with you"

"Same here"

My first instinct is to call Rachel, but I don't want to call her just like that. I need to see her face to face, I have been hiding long enough.

"San"

"Q", she sounds upset, of course.

"I got the internship"

"Good, I knew you would Fabray"

"San…"

"Are you ready to talk to me?"

"For the most part"

"Have you seen Rachel?"

"That's exactly what I want to do but I fear what will happen"

"The longer you wait…"

"I know, but I don't know how to do this, apologize, explain, I feel like I failed her"

"You did"

"How do you get back from that?"

"Good question, Q. I guess, first you go and see her in person, explain, talk to her, beg her to listen to you and hope that she'll be crazy enough to take you back and give you a second chance that almost feels like a third"

"Damn"

"Go get flowers, music, whatever she likes and loves. That won't make it, but you need to try. I don't know Q, sometimes words are not enough"

Try, there's that word again. But I really have no choice. I know that on Mondays Rachel and the guys have been rehearsing at a smaller bar, it belongs to a friend of John. Great. But I can't wait any longer, I made things worse while thinking that time would make things better, isn't it ironic? How I though time would help me understand and now all this waiting is playing against me. I decide to call Mike, I need some moral support.

"Mike, busy tonight?"

"I was thinking about hitting the books, why? Wanna get some tea?"

"Actually, I am on my way to buying flowers and something… And then I want to go to tonight's rehearsal"

"Oh"

"Yeah. I need to talk to her, make her understand. She is gonna hate the flowers, but I really don't know what else to do. I even wrote her a letter but I doubt it'll help. I need to see her and maybe she'll understand"

"Let's do this, Q"

* * *

This bar they are playing at is really awful. But I know they're doing it so they can have a stage to practice on, as crappy as it might be. Friday's and Saturday's they've been playing at the good spots. I walk into the bar and grab Mike's hand. I don't see any band members or Rachel, just a few random people sitting on tables, drinking beer. I rush to the bar before I lose my never.

"What can I get ya' blondie?" the bartender asks.

"Two beers, please" Mike sits next to me. "Where's the band?" I inquire.

"You know them?"

"Yeah, yeah"

"They're still in the back, I guess they'll be out here getting ready in a few"

"Good", he hands us the beers and I sip mine.

"Any chance I can go see them in the back? I wanna wish them good luck"

"I seriously doubt they need any luck, have you seen this place? But you can go in the back and whatever. See that door over there?" he asks pointing at a wooden door on the other side of the room, "just go there, there's a hall, turn left and you'll see another door. I am sure that's where your friends are hiding. Or more like drinking for free before the show". I am surprised with this last remark, since when does Rachel let them drink before a show?

I look at Mike and he nods. I stand up and walk up there by myself. I find myself in the hall, my hands are shaking and my heart is racing like crazy. I think I am hyperventilating, but who cares? I hold on to the flowers and a little box I got, then I close my eyes when I see the door on the left. I open it slowly at first and then all the way with my eyes still closed. I hear a few gasps and someone really breathes in.

"What are you doing here?" it's John. He's barking at me and I just wanna punch him in the face but lucky for me, Tay steps in.

"Hey, John. Chill" he tells the other guy. I open my eyes and see Rachel staring at me, as if she can't believe I am physically there.

"I brought you this" I tell her handing her the flowers and John chuckles, except this time Leo interrupts.

"Why don't we give them some privacy?"

"No" Rachel stops them. "You are all staying here. And Quinn, look… really?"

"I needed to see you"

"You should have called, we have a show in a few minutes"

"I know and I am sorry, but I just couldn't wait anymore"

"Well, too bad. Some of us have to wait even if we don't want to, don't we? Now, I have a show to do, if you want to you can stay. And then we'll talk"

"Sure, I am sorry", I say stepping out and quickly finding my way back to Mike. I notice there are a few tears running down my face. But I need to stay.

The band goes on stage a few minutes after. Rachel looks sad and I know she cried. Because of me, why did I have to do that whole disappearing act? They play for 20 minutes.

"We're going to take a brake now, we'll be back in ten minutes", Rachel tells to the audience. But they don't seem to care.

Then Rachel walks up to me.

"Great show", I tell her.

"Really?", she says again, like she's so over it.

"I am sorry for everything that I have done in the past few weeks. It's just that things back home were much more complicated than I thought"

"Oh no, look Quinn, we talked before you went to Lima that second time. You promised to make things better, to let me in and all that crap. And then you went ahead and did exactly the opposite, I didn't know anything about you. I was sick worried, I felt so bad having to beg for information with Mike and Santana. I wanted to help you get through it, be there for you. But then it came to a point where I didn't even know if I still had a girlfriend at all. I know it's hard for you, I know you're angry and sad. But one of my jobs as your girlfriend is to make sure you're ok, and hold you when you need it and be there when you fall apart. But you didn't let me do it so I am really wondering Quinn, if you want me in your life"

"I do"

"I'm sorry, that's not what I saw. What I saw was a girl that ran away from me and didn't let me be there for her. I didn't see my girlfriend who had promised me to let me in", she starts crying and I try to hold her but she pushes me away.

"Please…", I plead.

"And what? Make it better because you're here with your flowers and your pretty words? And then convince me? I believed you once and you disappeared again, in my book it makes you a douche, I know you were hurting but you didn't even had the decency of texting me to let me know you would freaking go MIA on me!"

"I was confused and I felt a little lost"

"You should have talked to me"

"I know", I notice now how everyone's staring at us, but Rachel doesn't seem to care. So I guess I need to do this under her terms.

"I know" I continue, "but I was angry at my dad and sad because I realized that there was nothing I could do. I was angry at myself and felt very guilty because I had so much to look for while my dad was just lying in bed. I was confused, my family wanted me to come back to NY but then that would mean I had to leave them there, with my father… who's not even my father anymore". I struggle with this part, but I need to make her understand, "My dad's gone Rach. He won't be here when I graduate or when I go back home for Thanksgiving, and yes, his body will be there. But that's not my dad, my dad is gone Rach. How could I face that? How can I even begin to understand it? He won't be there when we get married, he'll never know how much I love you. And it's all because of me, because I wasn't brave enough to tell him when he was clearly trying. And then I did the same thing to you, I pushed you away because I wasn't brave enough to let you see me like this". Now I am sobbing just too much and can barely speak, there are things that I am saying that I wasn't exactly aware of, but this is my last chance and I might as well go all the way in. I feel Mike grabbing my hand.

"Dave was there for us and I knew that I should have let you do the same, because you can. But this is my lowest point you know? I was broke and angry and confused and how could I let you see me like that?"

"I would have loved you regardless"

"Would have?", I feel my legs going numb and I just sit on whatever is behind me and I just need to get out of there. But then she comes up to me.

"Let's go to my place and finish this. I … you know I love you, Quinn"

I take a cab to her place with Mike. She gives him the keys and tells us to wait, they are going to clean and pack everything up.

When we get there I notice immediately that this looks nothing like Rachel's apartment, is messy and there are dirty dishes on the sink, clothes all over the living room and I think she hasn't been sweeping lately. I feel a notch of guilt roll in my stomach. Mike leaves, he knows Rachel will be here any minute and we need to talk about… so many things. "Just call me when you're done, will you?" he asks me and I agree.

* * *

Rachel arrives to the apartment about half an hour after Mike leaves. I know I only have words for her today, but this is it. Either I make a good case, or I know goodbye to her and our future.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asks walking to the kitchen. I shake my head.

"I just really need to talk to you. I am really worry I showed up like that at the bar, but I didn't want to wait any longer and I didn't know if you'd meet me for coffee, I mean that seemed to be just so stupid. Rachel, I failed you"

"I don't even know what to say. I've been waiting for you to reach out to me and now that you do, I don't know what to say. It's just that I don't get it. I know that when you had to fly to Lima the first time, things didn't go well for us, but you promised not to push me away, and then you left again and did exactly what you said you wouldn't do. Quinn, I wanted to be there for you, I want to be there for you right now, but I can't. And then, that day when you said you were coming back and if I could give you a few days to sort things out. That was so ridiculous! But I thought, well, yes she needs time. Her dad is sick and she needs to catch up with things, but then I saw you with Joey and somehow you managed to convince Leo that it was just an innocent thing. But I really don't know what to think, for a few weeks now I didn't know I had a girlfriend but then I see her with her ex, having coffee and talking"

"I wanted to close that chapter. I wanted to move past that so I could come here and face you and tell you that I am ready. Maybe it was stupid, but in my head it made so much sense to say goodbye to that part of my life. It's like, everything was so messed up back then. But then my relationship with my parents started to change, Fanny changed, then you came along. But I know I waited too long and I know you'd have understood why I need to do it. I never meant for you to feel like I was hiding or something. When I was in Lima I knew I wanted you and needed you, but it's so hard for me to let people in. I know that words mean nothing without actions and that my actions say something different to what I feel. So one of my actions today, was to get you this." I open the little box I had with me in my pocket and hand it to her.

"Open it." She looks uncertain. "Don't worry, it's not a ring." And a smile creeps on her face. When she opens the box she looks at me.

"It's just a promise I want to make to you. That regardless of what happens or where life takes us, I will always be yours. Everything, the good and the bad. I am going to share my life with you Rach and won't push you away anymore, if you still let me". The content of the box is a silver necklace with three charms, one is a star, because she's obviously a star, the second is a heart and the third is a "Q", because I am a writer not a designer.

"I… I love it, Quinn."

"Do you want me to put it on?" This is the moment of truth.

"You hurt me. And you lied. I understand what happened and I want to think your actions have a reason that sometimes I can't understand. I love you, Quinn and I don't want to give up on us. But you can't just pretend that everything that happened just vanished, we still have some work to do"

"I know"

"I think we'll be ok but you do have some making up to do"

I smile and put the necklace, and then I hold her in my arms.

"I know, I'm going to gain your trust again". We stay like that for a few minutes, taking in everything that has happened lately

"I love you, thank you for giving me a second chance", I tell her.

"I love you too. And it's third Quinn; this is your third chance"

"I promise to cook on the weekends!"

"Ew, no, no cooking for you. You can… do the dishes every time and get me something nice every day, like chocolate and ice cream"

"Fine", I reply pouting.

"Fabray… are you staying over tonight?"

"Of course. Just, there's one more thing." She looks at me and I can see her 'what the hell now' expression creeping in so I finish the idea quickly. "I bought us two plane tickets to visit Lima in two weeks."


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Last chapter my dear readers. Thank you for sticking all the way through the end.**

* * *

The next two weeks are packed with papers, finals, moving into the new apartment, saying goodbye to my roommate and one last chat with Arthur. He got in Columbia for his master's in Journalism, so I know I will see him again. He also made sure I was in the editing committee for next year, which I am incredibly thankful for, just as I am scared. But Summer's almost here, I wish it meant I would get some time off, but after coming back from Lima, I will start working at the magazine. Rachel is really excited about it and insists that we should have a celebratory dinner before leaving for Lima. Just the band, Mike, Santana, her and I at her place. I accept because I haven't really seen the guys since the bar incident, and while I think they are happy Rachel and I are still a thing, I know I need to talk to them as well and apologize. So the dinner would be a good excuse for me to do that.

So Thursday night, before leaving to Lima, we all get together in Rachel's apartment. Mike is picking up Santana and I am helping with dinner. More like, chopping things and setting the table, I'm not really allowed to do anything but that. Then the bell rings, people will start showing up and although Rachel has assured me that the guys aren't upset, I know that I still have some damage control left to do.

The first ones to arrive are Marie and Leo. I am somewhat thankful for it, because it seems easier to talk to them.

"Hey" I greet them.

"Hi", Leo and Marie respond in unison.

"Come in, do you want something to drink? Dinner's almost ready", I ask them while they sit on the couch in the living room. They seem to be uneasy.

"Sure, how about a beer?", Leo requests.

"And maybe some wine?" Marie asks.

"Sure thing." I go to the kitchen and get their drinks.

"How's it going?" Rachel asks me.

"Kinda weird… but I'll talk to these guys, I mean, we're friends"

"Go get them babe", she replies. And I smile, I have a second chance and I need to make things right.

"Here are your drinks. And I want to talk to you both about something, before everyone else shows up" I sit on the coffee table we have in the living room, so I can sit and face them. "I have considered all of you friends, for some time now. Tay, you two, even John, and I know I misbehaved, so to speak. I know I made a mistake and have been hurting people for the past month. For some reason, Rachel has decided to give me a second chance and I hope you guys can do it as well. Above all, I know that you boys will be trying to protect Rachel and please just know that I never meant to hurt her and I don't want to ever do that again. I was going through some pretty rough thing in my life and I got sidetracked but I am back and I am here to stay. I will spend every day trying to show her how much I love her and to you guys, how much your friendship means to me"

"Wow, I didn't think we'd start with the speeches this early, Fabray" Leo starts saying, "but I'm glad you decided to face it once and for all. It was hard to know you were going through some hard stuff and then not being able to be there for you, it was awful to see Rachel being so miserable and it was annoying to know how much you cared about each other and how stupid you were. But I think we also understood that you were dealing with something serious, whether we like it or not, this, your dad's condition has changed your life. And I am really sorry, but I am glad that you are taking us back in your life and please know that we'll be here for you whenever you need us"

Then Marie takes my hand and says, "I am just happy things are better. I am sorry about your dad and let me know if we can do anything, if you ever need to talk. Please don't shut down like that ever again, it was awful"

"I know. Thank you for being my friends"

"No problem, Q. Now, group hug"

A few minutes go by, when I get a text from Mike, saying they're just around the corner and I better help because they're carrying tons of stuff.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and help Mike and San, he says they have a lot of stuff"

"What?", Rachel asks surprised.

"No idea" I reply. Leo offers to help and the two of us are waiting for the airport cab.

"In all seriousness Q, I'm glad you're back" he tells me when we see the car pulling over. Santana practically jumps off the car while the driver is yelling something at her, Leo hugs her quickly and runs to Mike. He needs a hand, or two. Santana rushes over me and hugs me tight.

"Fabray, you don't deserve this hug because of how you've behaved lately, but I know you were going through stuff so maybe I'll cut you some slack. Now I am happy you're better and Rachel is still crazy for you and you're lucky I can't stop being your friend"

"I love you too", I reply holding her even more tightly if that's even possible. Mike tries to smile on his way up, but his carrying at least 3 bags and then Leo has 2 more.

"What's all this?" I ask Mike.

"Satan?"

"Well" she starts, "I didn't want to say anything before it was a sure thing, but I also got an internship in the city for the summer. Now, before you ask, I know you'd love to have me in your apartment all day, I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up to Rachel's pancakes? But, I will actually be rooming with Tay. Who by the way, only agreed to have me over if I promised that Christina would visit, so… there"

"San! That's amazing", I say running to her, Mike also joins and I get another group hug. This couldn't get any better. But maybe I'm speaking too soon.

Just as we're breaking the embrace, the intercom goes off. "Yo', open up". Mike runs and buzzes Taylor in. These two are in this bromance, I don't even want to know.

Taylor walks in with beers on one hand and a guitar in the other.

"Honey, I'm here", he yells.

"Funny as ever", Rachel replies. Then he looks at me and I'm just standing there, unsure on what to do. I would usually go hug him hello and make fun on whatever shirt he's wearing and then steal one of his beers. But now I don't know, he's Rachel biggest protector and he was also a friend.

"Come on, Fabray", he tells me offering me a beer, "we'll talk later and I will also give you an ultimatum"

"Sounds good", I reply taking the beer and hugging the guy.

"So, our boy John won't be able to make it, though he sends his love and says that he'll also chat with you later. But, he is dating someone and had plans for tonight. He also mentioned that he doesn't want us to meet her just yet because we might scare her away. I don't know where he gets those ideas, Quinn's still here and so is Marie"

"Well, yeah, but they are crazy", Santana comments.

"Details"

The rest of the evening goes by just the same, some singing and drinking, everyone compliment's Rachel's food and, while I know things are not forgotten, it's good to see my friends are still there for me. At the end of the night, everyone goes home or to some other thing they have. I promise to catch up later with San and Mike, I am super excited about having those two around for the summer. But tonight I am staying with Rachel, Lima is waiting.

* * *

The following morning Rachel's the first to get up, she's all nervous and shaky.

"What's wrong?", I ask her.

"I am going to meet your mother Quinn", she says pacing through the room. I know everything's ready because she made me prepare my bags three days ago.

"Come on, let's get something to eat and then I'll go get a taxi", I tell her putting my arms around her waist. "She's going to love you, she'll probably like you better than me". She smiles and goes to the kitchen.

An hour later we're in the airport, waiting at the boarding room when I get a phone call from Fanny.

"Baby sister"

"What's up? How's everything?"

"Everything's ok, I just wanted to call because I heard you're visiting this weekend"

"I am"

"And that Rachel's coming with you"

"She is"

"Dave and I will be in Columbus, they might have something for him and we are going to start house hunting so we won't be able to join you guys. Please tell Rach I said hi and sis, it was about time"

I think I'm blushing and Rachel's looking at me funny. I hold her hand before hanging up with Fannie. "I'll tell her, bye big sister"

"What did she say?"

"Oh, her and Dave will be in Columbus looking for a place to move into and she says hi and that it was about time"

"About time what?"

"That I took you to Lima"

"Damn right, took you long enough, Fabray"

* * *

We arrive in Lima early in the afternoon. Rachel fell asleep almost the whole trip and now she's only half awake, which is cute and hilarious at the same time.

"Babe, we're here. Come on, I'll go get our bags, just try to stay awake"

"Sure", she mumbles as a response.

I get our luggage and get a taxi.

"I can't believe you'll be meeting my mother in a few minutes". And then, if she wasn't awake, now she definitely was.

"Oh, no"

"What?"

"I am meeting your mother"

"I told you babe, you'll be fine", I smile and kiss her.

By the time we get home, it's kind of dark. I know mom is probably waiting for us to have dinner, so I try to rush the driver. Finally, we get home.

"Ready?", I ask Rachel.

"As ready as I'll ever be"

"Here, I'll get the bags, you get the door. All you have to do is knock"

"Oh, good God"

We walk to the door and Rachel doesn't even have to knock, mom's waiting for us.

"Quinnie, I was just about to call you, I was waiting for you girls to have dinner. Come on, come on", she says walking to Rachel. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Fannie has told me so much about you. Thank you for visiting us"

"Thank you for having me", Rachel replies. My mom is taking her into the house, completely forgetting about me, I knew it.

The two of them go straight into the kitchen and Rachel helps mom set the table.

"Make sure to set the table for four, dear. Miss Ackerman is staying for dinner. She's the nurse that's taking care of daddy. You should go see him, Quinnie"

"Sure", I feel weird. Rachel looks at me and nods, I want her to meet my dad.

"Why don't you go upstairs with her? I can take care of things while you're gone", my girlfriend offers.

"That's a great idea. Thank you, Rachel", my mom replies. "She's great. Now come on, Quinnie"

We go upstairs and I feel hesitant to walk in. I've seen him like this before, but it doesn't get any easier.

"Miss Akerman", my mom announces as soon as we step into the room. "This is Quinnie, I think you two haven't met. Miss Ackerman is replacing Misses Jackson"

"Nice to meet you, Quinn"

"Nice to meet you too"

"I will leave you two alone"

"Thank you, if you want, dinner's almost ready. Quinn's girlfriend's taking care of things downstairs"

"Great, thanks", the nurse smiles and leaves.

"So, how's dad?", I ask sitting on his bed next to him. I kind of hold his hand.

"He's ok. I mean, we're trying some therapy and the Doctor says he might wake up. But you never know, in the mean time it's good to have someone like Miss Ackerman around, she's really nice and knows her job. And then amongst the three of us, Fannie, Dave and I, we try to spend as much time as we can around here with dad"

"That's good"

"How are you?"

"I'm good"

"I'm happy, Rachel seems to be a great girl, really nice. And I can tell that she loves you, so that's enough for me"

"Thanks mom"

* * *

On Saturday I take Rachel on a hike around Lima, I show her all my favorite places, the bookstore, a little coffee shop and then we drive to Santana's and I's spot. We don't stay for long because I still want that to be my friend's place, but I know Rachel will be glad I shared that with her. Plus, mom is taking only Rachel out for dinner that night. I am a little concerned about that, but there's really nothing to fear. I'll stay home and hang out with dad. That night when they come back, I want Rachel to meet my dad.

"How was dinner?", I ask them when they walk in.

"Great, Breadsticks really good", Rachel tells me.

"We got vegan food Quinnie, don't worry. I remembered"

"I had a great time, mi… Judy"

"Much better. Thank you for joining me. You're a great companion"

"I'm glad you guys had fun. Mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I was thinking that maybe Rach can meet dad now"

"Sure, do that now, before bed time"

"Let's go Rach", I tell her holding her hand.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course"

We head upstairs. The door's almost always open, we go in and Rachel stands by the entrance. I walk in and sit again next to dad on the bed. I motion her to come next to me. Dad's surrounded by all this equipment, but he needs to know the most important person in my life.

"So, Dad, this is Rachel. My girlfriend. I think you'd approve of her, she's smart and talented, she's a wonderful singer, very driven. She's going to be famous one day and I'll play all of her music to you". I hole her hand, I see some tears are rolling down her cheeks, but I think I might be tearing just a little was well. I take dad's hand and put it near Rachel's.

"Rach, this is my dad"

"Hi, Mr. Fabray. It's great to finally meet you. I know that this is somewhat unexpected, but please know that I love your daughter, you should be really proud of the individual she is today. She's an amazing person and I love her. I promise you we'll visit more often and that I'll take care of her"

"Thank you", I manage to say. We stay like that for a few minutes. Then mom says it's bed time and she walks into the room. She comes up to us and holds us. "He's very happy, Quinnie."

Sunday's here and it's time for us to leave. We have breakfast with my mom and then she drives us to the airport, Miss Ackerman was nice enough to spend that time with dad while mom's out. Frannie and Dave are driving back that night. "Quinnie, this time call me as soon as you land, got it?"

"Yes, mom"

"I have Rachel's number now, so if you don't call I'll text her"

"MOM", Rachel's laughing.

"Yeah, Quinnie, you need to get better at picking up your phone", Rachel teases and I stick my tongue at her.

* * *

A few weeks have gone by since our visit to Lima. I am planning on going back there probably at the end of June, or whenever I catch a break from so much work. The internship only started a week ago and I am already tired. The apartment is looking better every time with everyone's help. Rachel's spending almost every night there, it's easier and much more convenient for the two of us. But today is Friday and we're finally having that epic costume party we promised Marie. Everybody is here, John included. It's opening day and new start for Mike and I.

"Alright, everyone", Mike starts standing up on the coffee table in the living room. "Listen, I just want to make a toast, to everyone here, Satan included. I'm happy to have you around for the summer, now that my favorite lesbian is taken, maybe you can get the role"

"Hey!", Santana and I say at the same time. There are some laughs.

"No, but for real everyone. You all are family now to me. Quinn, San and I have been best friends since high school and then the four of you came along. Rachel stole Quinn's heart and Santana stole Tay's"

"But I hear Christina is visiting", he yells.

"And then you all stole my heart. Marie, you included." There are some 'awws'. "Now, I know we've had some really rough times in the past few months, but I am happy to see we tackled those issues together as a family. So, here's to us. The new family we are."

"If I may", John says. "I would like to say something. I am sorry first of all, Quinn I know I wasn't the nicest at times and then you went through some stuff but it's good to have you back. And I want to thank you all for also being family for me no matter what. Rach, I love you and I love seeing you this happy. Tay, Leo, you are my brothers and Mike, you're also like my new brother. Marie, welcome to this insanity. And San, what can I say to you? You're awesome. Now, because you all mean so much to me, I would like you to meet my new girlfriend, she'll be stopping by later. Please be nice?"

"Oh, as if you had to ask", Santana mocks him. "We'll behave"

"Well, since we're making speeches and announcing stuff, guys, family, I have some great news", he holds Marie's hand. "I got a phone call from Schuester this morning, he said that he checked the videos I sent him on YouTube and was very impressed with us at the Battle, so he wants to cut us a demo this summer and help us promote it nation wide!"

There's a lot of yelling and excitement in the room, everyone's cheering and hugging.

"Babe", I tell Rachel, "you are going to make it"

"And you'll be there next to me, right?"

"Always", I promise her.

* * *

**The next chapter, more like epilogue, will tell you all a Little bit about what happens next. Thank you for reading the story and sticking with me through this.**


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue.**

**AN: Thank you for reading, following the story and all that good stuff. Writing and reading FF has helped me so much, it might sound silly and I don't know if I'll ever admit it out loud, but it really did help me with my writing (alright, so I might not be the best fiction writer out there, but you know). I'm writing so much more now, other kinda stuff but still writing. Again, thank you for reading the story and taking some time into check out my work. I hope you all enjoyed it.**

* * *

"Alright then, it's settled", the editor is saying. "We'll go with Madison's thing and then Q, you better bring it. It's your last summer assignment, though I know it won't be the last we'll be seeing of you". He winks at me and smiles. I think I am blushing. "Everybody, out, go do something", he finishes the meeting and we all smile.

I take out my phone and dial the last number I have on my calling list. It's usually the same number.

"Hey babe, how was the meeting?"

"Good, one more thing to do before I'm done. Well, the last one for now"

"That's good", she replies and I think she's smiling. That means at least I'll have a couple of weeks off before going back to school. Senior year of College, big words.

"How are you?"

"I believe we're almost done for the day. We didn't do much today, really. Just went over what we worked on the last few days, and I am liking it"

"I'm sure it's great"

"Yeah… we'll see"

"Rach… it's ok to have some fun and say you know you guys are the next big thing"

"Don't jinx it!"

"Baby, you're crazy. Now, how about I meet you for lunch?"

"Sounds perfect"

* * *

Half an hour later I'm at the studio where the band has been working these past weeks.

"Leo and John just left", Tay informs me as I walk in. "Do you wanna listen to the newest track?"

"Of course"

He plays the music while Rachel appears and sits on my lap holding me. I listen and they sound perfect, it's a bit hard being objective (and even consider writing about them), but I know what's good and what's not. According to me, at least. I know what I like and I know for a fact they are talented, all of them.

"Wow", I say when the song's finished, "that's really good. It's like I feel I've heard that before, but maybe I really haven't."

"I like that", he replies. "By the way, Rach has something for you, well it's from all of us." So I look at her.

"We have three songs ready and were thinking that maybe you could play them to your dad"

"That's great!" I hold her impossibly closer.

"Yeah, our lady here mentioned that you're going back to Ohio for the weekend in a few days, maybe your old man would like to be impressed by your girlfriend abilities"

"Thanks, you guys." I say looking at both of them. "Oh, and remember, tomorrow night at my and Mike's place. Santana is leaving the city in a few days, and before she throws a gigantic party that will get us all killed, we were thinking about having something more low key, just food and wine, friends only"

"Yep, count me in. Christina will be there as well", he replies winking.

"I didn't know that", my girlfriend replies.

"Yeah, well, same thing. She's done with school for the summer and wants to hang out in the city before heading back home for the rest of the summer vacation"

"Will she be staying with you?", I ask.

"Maybe… yes, where else? Santana's been my roomie for the summer and so has Christina when she's visiting", he replies blushing.

"Tay, you know I don't approve of these activities"

"What activities, Rach?", he inquires. But I am really curious as well.

"Sleeping with girls just like that"

"I am not doing that, promise. And if I were to, you know, sleep with her, know that I really respect her and care about her", he says and adds nothing more. I don't want to say it, but I know Rachel will.

"Oh, dear God. Are you in love?", she practically yells and jumps from my lap to hold her friend. There it is. That's the girl I know and love.

"Rach, come on", he says.

"Baby, come on, let's go get something to eat. Do you want to join us?", I ask him removing Rachel from his embrace. He looks at me thankful.

"Thanks, but I think I'll go home and catch up with some papers I need to email"

We say our goodbyes and head to a café Rachel really likes.

"Do you want me to help you set up for tomorrow?", she asks me while we sit.

"Rach, you're going to be there anyway and I know you will be helping whether we ask you or not because you're a tiny little bit crazy"

"I'd be offended if it wasn't remotely true"

"I love you." I tell her and she smiles. The waitress shows up to take our order, I think she knows by now what we'll have, we've been eating here at least once a week, whenever I get to have lunch with Rach and this is the closest place to the recording studio.

"So, Lima…", she says.

"Yah, I am happy to finally go home. Mom says everything's ok and she's super happy that Dave and Fanny finally finished decorating their new house, but I feel that I've been neglecting them"

"Don't say that. They understand, plus you've been calling them every day and your dad is ok, the doctor said so", she explains holding my right hand above the table.

"I know. I wish I had more time, you know?"

"It's going to be hard, but we'll make it work, don't worry", she replies interlacing our fingers.

"Thank you"

"That's what I'm here for" and places a soft kiss on my palm.

* * *

"Alright, mom"

"Yes, I'll call you tomorrow"

"Sounds good, please say hi to Dave and Fanny"

"I'll tell Rachel, yes"

"Love you too, bye"

I finally hang up the phone.

"Tell me what?", inquires my girlfriend kissing me on the cheek. She's here to help us set everything up for dinner.

"Oh, nothing", I reply putting away my phone. "Same stuff as usual, she loves you and can't wait for you to go back and visit, I swear to god she wants you on that plane and not me"

"Drama Queen", Mike snorts from the kitchen.

"Oh, it's true", I tell him joining him. "It's like she wants to adopt Rach or something"

"Now you're just being ridiculous", she says and starts accommodating snacks into a tray to take it into the living room. Our friends should be showing up any minute now.

"I know, well, she wanted me to say hi to you both and San, she can't wait to see me, Dad's doing ok, we'll have a meeting with the doctor to talk about his condition and well, Fannie is really healthy. Dave's good, you know, being a great husband and son in law"

"That's great, Q", he replies while Rach leaves the kitchen with the tray in her hands.

"Yeah, it's just crazy. You know? I have an amazing family, great friends, a super pretty and really talented girlfriend"

"Well, you worked hard to get to where you are", he simply replies smiling, he's on food duty for the night and is working on some cheese things he likes to prepare.

"I love you, Mike, thanks for being my friend all this time", I tell him hugging him from behind.

"Are you drunk already?" I punch him lightly in the arm and then he continues saying, "I love you too, Quinn. You know you're my best friend. You and Santana, but don't ever tell her that"

"Wouldn't dare"

About ten minutes later, Santana, Christina, Taylor, John and his girlfriend show up.

"I can't believe summer's almost over", Christina starts while pouring some wine for everyone.

"I know and we all made it", Santana continues getting comfortable on the couch, "I mean, we all survived whatever craziness is going on in our lives"

"It wasn't too bad", Taylor says, "We are just really lucky to be doing what we love"

"Agreed", John says. And then his girlfriend adds, "You all make it look so easy. Well, I used to think so when John would tell me all about the gigs and when you got to record the demo. But you all work really hard and are super dedicated"

"Hey, no need to suck up", Santana tells her. I give San a look and we both laugh, she knows me so well and I think it's safe to say I know her very well by now.

"I think I understand what you mean", Rachel interrupts, "It seems that things are really easy, but they aren't always like this, we all went through some rough stuff and I guess we're just learning how to deal properly with things"

"True that!", Mike yell and we all stare.

"Alright, so we're just missing Leo and Marie, right?" Now it's my turn to interrupt. Everyone seems to be having a good time and start talking to each other, so I take some time to steal Rachel and take into my room.

"Why so mysterious?", she asks when I close the door behind us, "You know everyone's here and we can't really do anything, unless you are…"

"Rach, I like what you're thinking. But yeah, our friends are here and I actually wanted to give you a little something I got for you"

"Quinn, you didn't have to…", she says while taking the box I am handing her. She says I don't have to, but I know she loves every time I get her something. And I like making her happy. She opens the box and there are three things in it. The first thing she takes out is a notebook. There's a note on the front page; now that they're writing their own lyrics, she needs a good place to empty her thoughts, there's a poem I wrote for her in the bottom of the page. I really don't write poetry very often, but she makes me feel that I can pull that off.

"You don't need to read that this very moment, maybe later? When we're alone?"

"Sounds good, can I see what the other presents are?", she asks holding my hand. "Of course", I simply reply.

So she takes a picture, it's a picture of her while she was in the studio, recording. I took it one day when I was visiting, it's nothing too artistic, but you can see her giving her all into that session, she was really in the moment. Anyone could have made it a great photography; all I had to do really was snap the shot.

"Wow", she says looking intently into the picture she's holding.

"I know. You were so good that day, you were… I don't know, it was intense and beautiful"

"Thank you", she says looking at me.

"Now the last one", I insist.

It's in the bottom of the box. It's a frame with a picture in it, it's the two of us. It was taken at the last dinner party we had. It's nothing major, but we look really happy.

"I know you have other pictures of us, but I just really liked this one. Mike took it and when I saw it, I just knew I needed to put it somewhere, you know? I feel so lucky to have you in my life. And I know we've been through things and that we'll be through so much more, we both are going into senior year and then real life. Who knows what will happen? But I want to be there for you and I want you to be with me, you make me a better and happier person and I'd like to think I have a similar effect in you"

"You do, and I feel lucky every day. I really love you, so much". She kisses me and I can feel who much she cares about me, her right hand is taking me by the back of my neck. All that we've been through has made us better people and better partners. But just when I start deepening the kiss we hear a loud knock on our door and we jump a little.

"I guess we should go back out there", she tells me caressing the back of my neck with the hand she had there. I smile and nod.

"Come in!", I yell. Mike opens the door.

"Sorry, it's just that Leo's here with Marie and we're starving and you were taking forever", he explains a little nervous.

"It's OK, we're coming", I take my girlfriends hand and guide her to the living room, where all my good friends are gathered.

"Took you forever, Q", Santana teases me from across the room.

"San!", I reply.

"What? Nothing wrong with spending some alone time with your girlfriend, just don't do it while I'm around. I felt neglected"

"Oh, come here you!", I laugh and proceed to hug my best friend.

Mike seems anxious, he's standing in the center of the room, holding a red cup. I think he wants to go ahead and make some kind of toast. So I just take a sit next to Rach, hold her hand while I sip my wine and listen to one of my best friends thank us for being in his life. Changes are bound to come, but I think we'll be OK.

* * *

**Thank you!**


End file.
